Bill Gates wants to control the weather. Builds Bond-Villain lair, files patents

Started by MadImmortalMan, July 10, 2009, 01:52:48 PM

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MadImmortalMan

July 10, 2009, 01:52:48 PM
http://www.popsci.com/scitech/article/2009-07/bill-gates-files-patent-hurricane-killer-plan

Quote

Bored With PCs, Bill Gates Sets His Sights On Controlling the Weather
Microsoft's chairman is part of a join patent filing for using fleets of vessels to stop hurricanes via geoengineering
By Jeremy Hsu Posted 07.10.2009 at 12:11 pm 0 Comments

Bill Gates' Plan to Stop Hurricanes: A diagram from one of the newly disclosed Gates and Myhrvold patent filings, depicting a deployment of hurricane-supression vessels in the Gulf of Mexico. via TechFlash

Truly this is the age of Greenfinger: Billionaire Bill Gates has patented the idea to halt hurricanes by decreasing the surface temperature of the ocean.

The patent calls for a large fleet of specially equipped ships which would mix warm water from the ocean surface with colder water down below, according to five new patents that include Microsoft's chairman as a co-inventor. That could then reduce or perhaps eliminate the heat-driven condensation which hurricanes feed upon, thus significantly reducing their intensity.



Patent-watcher "theodp" first spotted the new patent filings, and told TechFlash that the scheme reminded him of something Mr. Burns might have concocted in "The Simpsons" -- if the fictional industrialist hadn't already blown his master plan on blocking out the sun.

The hurricane-stopper plan apparently hatched from a meeting of Intellectual Ventures, a patent house which regularly gathers scientists and technologists to brainstorm together. TechFlash notes that the official filings came through an Intellectual Ventures affiliate, Searete LLC.

One of the five patents also suggests how to pay
for the massive seagoing fleet, including selling insurance policies in hurricane-prone areas -- so much for the billionaire backer.

This represents just the latest in a long line of geoengineering proposals aimed at taming Mother Nature, whether aimed at climate change or hurricanes. Even the prestigious National Academy of Sciences held a workshop in June on geoengineering, although that ended with disagreements on whether the cure might be worse than the problem.

We previously looked at other plans regarding hurricanes, such as sending supersonic jets slicing into the eye of the giant storms. But for now, it's likely that coastal cities should at least invest in more grounded ideas to become hurricane-proof.


What would you do if you had a quadrillion dollars and lots of free time, anyway?  :lol:
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Caliga

#1
July 10, 2009, 01:57:58 PM
How dare he try to thwart the Wrath of God(TM).  :mad:
0 Ed Anger Disapproval Points

Viking

#2
July 10, 2009, 02:02:40 PM
I for one welcome our new weathermen. Now I can "order" good weather for that BBQ....
First Maxim - "There are only two amounts, too few and enough."
First Corollary - "You cannot have too many soldiers, only too few supplies."
Second Maxim - "Be willing to exchange a bad idea for a good one."
Second Corollary - "You can only be wrong or agree with me."

A terrorist which starts a slaughter quoting Locke, Burke and Mill has completely missed the point.
The fact remains that the only person or group to applaud the Norway massacre are random Islamists.

The Brain

#3
July 10, 2009, 02:04:14 PM
What could possibly go wrong?
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Caliga

#4
July 10, 2009, 02:11:32 PM
Soon Bill Gates will get his own planet at the center of the galaxy and tell everyone he's God.  Spock's crazy cousin will worship him and Captain Kirk will have to show up and declare "God... is.... the spark of.... the DIVINE... WITHIN ALL... of us!"
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Josquius

#5
July 10, 2009, 04:06:47 PM
Interestingly awesome.

Except the funding of course.
Quote
One of the five patents also suggests how to pay
for the massive seagoing fleet, including selling insurance policies in hurricane-prone areas -- so much for the billionaire backer.
How the hell is that going to work?
What if I live in Louisiana but I don't want to pay? They're going to knock my house down to represent the hurricane?
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crazy canuck

#7
July 10, 2009, 05:15:33 PM
Quote from: Tyr on July 10, 2009, 04:06:47 PM
What if I live in Louisiana but I don't want to pay? They're going to knock my house down to represent the hurricane?

Its essentially what Gates did to Netscape.  You dont want to mess with him.

Strix

#8
July 10, 2009, 06:13:12 PM
Quote from: Tyr on July 10, 2009, 04:06:47 PM
What if I live in Louisiana but I don't want to pay? They're going to knock my house down to represent the hurricane?

It will be like Microsoft Windows. Gates will have it be bundled in with the purchase of any new house in the effected areas. It will be impossible to unbundle it without voiding your homeowners insurance or mortgage.
"I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left." - Margaret Thatcher

Monoriu

#9
July 10, 2009, 07:43:09 PM
I hope he tries to control people's minds. 

BuddhaRhubarb

#10
July 10, 2009, 08:29:18 PM
Sounds awesome I hope Bill can solve all the world's problems just by inventing shit in his garage. He should start working on making a Holodeck and Star Trek food replicators next, then FTL drives.
:p

Syt

#11
July 10, 2009, 11:08:28 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on July 10, 2009, 01:52:48 PM
What would you do if you had a quadrillion dollars and lots of free time, anyway?  :lol:

I think it would have to do with orgies. :)
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

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The Brain

#12
July 11, 2009, 03:01:19 AM
I would build my enormous tomb complex. Bill Gates has no sense of humor at all.
Women want me. Men want to be with me.

Jaron

#13
July 11, 2009, 05:51:28 AM
Quote from: Monoriu on July 10, 2009, 07:43:09 PM
I hope he tries to control people's minds.

That method works great in China, but not here buddy.
Winner of THE grumbler point.
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