Einigkeit und Sigmar und Griffins

[Tamas]

I usually play Normal, sometimes Hard. I haven't found a super-easy exploit to defeat the tactical AI regardless of numerical inferiority like in Rome 1 days so I am have had enough one with battles on Normal/Hard depending on the faction.

I noticed no siege battles in Warhammer which is probably just as well. It was too easy to whip huge AI armies with small garrisons I recall. But it does mean you get to grind up small garrisons in the open, unless you have a really shitty force there is no reason to actually siege a city.

AFAIK there are still sieges, of province capitals as normal in this latest incarnation of the series. There is one province capital in each province which is fortified. The rest of the cities are not. I haven't seen it myself but as I have read, they have got rid of the open town battles from Rome 2 and Attila which were highly annoying, so yeah you'll be mostly fighting field battles.

[Valmy]

I usually play Normal, sometimes Hard. I haven't found a super-easy exploit to defeat the tactical AI regardless of numerical inferiority like in Rome 1 days so I am have had enough one with battles on Normal/Hard depending on the faction.

I noticed no siege battles in Warhammer which is probably just as well. It was too easy to whip huge AI armies with small garrisons I recall. But it does mean you get to grind up small garrisons in the open, unless you have a really shitty force there is no reason to actually siege a city.

AFAIK there are still sieges, of province capitals as normal in this latest incarnation of the series. There is one province capital in each province which is fortified. The rest of the cities are not. I haven't seen it myself but as I have read, they have got rid of the open town battles from Rome 2 and Attila which were highly annoying, so yeah you'll be mostly fighting field battles.

Ok cool. Thanks!

[Valmy]

PART I: DIE SECESSIONISTS

That is German for 'The Secessionists' and nobody who speaks German could be an evil servant of Chaos. Anyway so Luitpold von Holswig-Schliestein (Emperor Luitpold I, Protector of the Empire, Elector Count of Reikland and Prince of Altdorf etc...) has seen better days in the Chaos Wastes.



'Damn, sorry Dad'

So his son Karl Franz has been elected Emperor...but lets just say with some opposition. The Empire splits into petty states with each Elector Count asserting his independence, many with dreams of overturning the election and claiming the crown for themselves. What a bunch of assholes. In addition to that evil secessionists have taken over three quarters of Reikland determined to storm Altdorf and um...actually I am not sure what they want really. But they suck. That is clear.

Upon Karl Franz's coronation as Karl Franz I, ruler of Altdorf and not much else, some foreign dignitaries stop by Altdorf to pay their respects.



'Congrats on da shiny ting on ya head humie. Maybe we TAKES IT. Oh an maybe we take da shiny ting to.'

So it is off to defend the last remaining city in the Empire! Man this reign is off to an awesome start. And to my new time as a Total War player as well.



'Wait who am I commanding? Who are those guys? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? SO MANY ORKS!'

But despite my bumbling along in the dark the Empire is saved! Barely.



'Hey! Shuttup game! Those were a lot of Orks.'

The game points out I am still royally...erm....Imperially screwed being surrounded by the traitorious Middenland and its ambitious Count Boris Todbringer, the backstabbing secessionist Marienburg, and other backstabbing secessionists in Reikland.

Will Karl Franz survive to actually fight non-Imperials? We will see.

First to Grunburg! To put down the first Secessionist traitors. In the first big test I fuck up by putting my archers behind my infantry instead of in front but fortunately the might Reiskguard Knights bail the Emperor out with a well timed charge into the enemy rear.



'May Ulrich do something particularly unpleasant to you Helmut Ludenhof you traitorious bastard'

So two close wins. But I am starting to remember how to group troops and do formations and all that good stuff. Now on to Grunwald! We do better this time.



'Now THAT is more like it!'

So...feeling pretty good. Brought Sigmarian justice to some traitors. Time to go south to Helmgart and meet the main Secessionist army. But wait the fucking Middenlanders are sending a large army to attack Altdorf from the north! I am surrounded by nothing but treachery and betrayal. I am actually kind of jealous of the Middenland invading army army because it has one of my favorite pieces of the Empire Army: the heavy artillery. I am really looking forward to having a large and elite combined arms force which is why I love this faction so much. Now I just have masses of infantry and crossbowmen...meh.

Anyway I was pretty worried about those big guns but fortunately Karl Franz ambushes the Middenlanders on the road and the Reiksguard Knights rip into them. But then a second Middenland Army appears and I have to swing my army around and reform to meet them. A very tricky endeavor. Oh and my swordsmen discovered that a full unit of regular soldiers will be massacred by a single enemy hero...even some no-name Middenland noble. Good to know.



'Go and tell Todbringer that...um...sit tight I got a few things to do first.'

So back into Reikland. One traitorous province at a time. As a reward for beating up MIddenland a mage joined my army and man did I need this guy. So Karl Franz marches southward towards the border with the dwarf kingdoms, where Helmgart stands. Awaiting him is Secessionist general Hans Zintler and the main Secessionist Army.



'You have no chance Zintler! Surrender to your Emperor!'

Well ok he actually did have a chance. The city Garrison reinforces him and so this becomes the first battle Karl Franz is outnumbered. And then I seriously fuck up the deployment. See for some reason a bug (or my incompetence but it would not let me select the formation) wouldn't let me set my formation but I figured 'oh well I can just do that once the battle starts'. Well I made an Ork's breakfast out of the whole thing and got the facing wrong and as a result the Secessionists were able to flank me. It was a real close deal and a total bloodbath of a battle as both sides ripped each other to pieces.

I had to commit Karl Franz, the Reiksguard Knights, and my wizard (who is named Magnus Todbringer ironically...I wonder if he is a relative to the Count of Middenland?) have to try to save the formation as it collapsed almost immediately. The good Todbringer blasted the hell out of the Secessionist infantry and the Karl Franz and the Cavalry went right into the mass of enemy foes...and it wasn't pretty.



'The flank is saved...and a few of us are even still alive!'

Karl Franz almost died. And then most of those routed units rallied and hit us again. The mighty Reiksguard was almost annihilated and shamefully fled the field. BUT BEHOLD THE GLORIOUS RESULT!



'A victory fit for the King of Epirus.'

But that pretty much finishes off the Secessionists. Eilhart, the other city in Reikland, falls easily and the province is united.



'Well that just breaks my damn heart'

So now Reikland is united under my banner. Now for Middenland...or maybe not. Middenland has been over-run by a powerful Greenskin horde, Da Skullsmasherz, and have hilariously asked for my assistance. Well either way Middenland is soon going to be back in the fold.

Foreign relations have gone alright, the Empire has trade relations with Brettonia and alot of the breakaway regions of the Empire. Talabecland and Stirland may be annexed peacefully eventually.

I am upgrading Karl Franz mainly for province stuff but his close call against the secessionists had me put a bit in his armor. Damn I want Deathclaw though.

I am upgrading the three new villages I just liberated and am trying to get one of each thing in the province. Altdorf needs to have the Cathedral of Sigmar, the Magic University thing, a place to breed Demi-Grifs and a place to make heavy guns and steamtanks...so that leaves everything else for the minor towns.

Tune in next time to watch a really shitty Total War player try to play Total War: Warhammer!

[Valmy]

PART II: ALMOST REVENGE

All embrace me, it's my time to rule at last
Reikland is won and now I can sit upon my throne

Swear allegiance I demand your oath
Chosen by Sigmar and the church as my power is divine

Boris said I was too young to rule the land
He has failed to understand
I'm Born to rule
His time has come

I was chosen by Sigmar
Say my name when you pray
To the skies, see Karl Franz rise
I am your divine protector
You will bow to my will
To the skies, see Karl Franz rise
To the skies, see Karl Franz rise

Proved in battle, led my men to victory
No man alive or dead commands me, I answer to Sigmar

Hear my orders, question me and die
What I say was said by Sigmar, and so it shall be done

I know I was destined to rule alone
All for myself I have claimed the throne
I'm Born to rule
My time is now

I was chosen by Sigmar
Say my name when you pray
To the skies, see Karl Franz rise
I am your divine protector
You will bow to my will
To the skies, see Karl Franz rise
To the skies, see Karl Franz rise

All that's thine shall be mine there's no stopping me
All over the Empire my rule shall be questioned by none
All I see, give to me, that is my decree
My will be done

Ok so as Karl Franz is gathering his army to invade Middenland an unwelcome 'War-before-the-war' occurs that highlights the instability of my southern border. Brettonia will not mind its own business.



'Declaring war on a much larger nation who is not distracted by anything? Quel élan! Quel Courage! Or possibly stupid AI.'

So with only one army Boris Todbringer gets a reprieve and Karl Franz turns south, passing through the pass through the Grey Mountains into Brettonia...wait does this pass have a name? The Axe Bite Pass through Helmgart. Meanwhile a new army will be needed to hold th southern pass.



'This Witchhunter should keep the local systems in line.'

But that will take awhile. Heh the lord to lead this army is named Adelbert Todbringer. Boris has family problems.

Karl Franz marches on the town of Montfort in Bastonne. This will soon be the border fort before the border fort at Helmgart.



'Hey look I get to fight somebody who is not one of my subjects!'

I struggle a bit getting the formation right again, but I figured out eventually I can move units around on my unit list and that changes where they are in the formation. So for this battle I had the swordsmen on one side of the formation and the pikemen on the other so of course the Brettonian cavalry charged the swordmen side. But fortunately they only have Yeomen cavalry so far...



'Karl Franz, Magnus Todbringer, and the Reiksgard have to do the heavy lifting again...'

But that is that, Montfort (which does not appear to be either strong nor a mountain but whatever) is now Imperial.



'You Brettonians have a strange way of making peace.'

I had to do that without totally conquering Bastonne because I did not want to get too mixed up in Brettonia and further the Dwarves of Karak Ziflin have taken offense to the Empire crossing the mountains and declared war. They didn't attack until Karl Franz was one his way to Middenland but just sacked Montfort and went home, their grudge settled. It was the second time Montfort had been taken, and not the last.



'You might as well all just fall on your swords now!'

And we are off! Oh and Todbringer had already defeated the Greenskins I mentioned earlier. But he was nowhere to be seen. So we have an easy time taking Carroburg and Weismund, barely losing a man both times.



'Come on Boris this is hardly even fun.'

Now Middenland has an ally in Nordland against our ally Talabecland. But it seems the game has other ideas...



'Ah so our next major quest is to form an alliance with the people we are at war with?'

What the hell game? Fortunately Nordland was alright making peace after we had already taken 2/3rds of Middenland but it will take a lot of bribes to convince them to ally with us. Damn. What Karl Franz has to do for his glory.

Speaking of glory this Empire sure has some whiners.



'Happiness is mandatory! Notice my witchunter there '

Meanwhile Adelbert Todbringer decides to pull back his army in the south to Helmgart to recruit some more troops, which is certainly a weakpoint in my defense of Montfort: no troops that can be recruited.



'Wahoo! My first mortars!'

Which leads my to a short tangent: there are really cool toys and weapons and units in Warhammer but damn does this game make it hard to use them. It costs a TON to build up your cities to recruit the big units. Like it would take me a few dozen turns doing nothing but pouring money into Altdorf to build it up and I have other towns and armies to support. Plus soldiers cost a lot of upkeep and you do not get just a ton of money. Warhammer is supposed to be about fantastical creatures battling and man it is going to awhile where I am just fighting with regular old infantry and bowmen. So nice to get some big mortars to play with.

But Parravon, a neighboring Brettonian realm, has other ideas and declares war and invades the second Adelbert pulls back his army.



'Wow so you didn't take it? You just sacked it? How sporting...and possibly stupid.'

Seriously? Why wouldn't a Brettonian faction take this key Brettonian town? Ah well it is my main source of iron so it must be held so thanks for that Parravon. This will not be the last match between Adelbert Todbringer and the Parravon Lord Cassyon. But clearly I need to fortify Montfort and establish a massive garrison here before I can move the southern army someplace else.

Speaking of fortifications and massive garrisons, Boris Todbringer clearly has prepared his capital at Middenheim well. Damn if he was here this would be all but impossible.



'Wow you have Knights and everything...huh I am going to face Empire knights before I face Brettonian ones'

So they have siege battles in this game after all. But this is pretty simplified layout with the city center pretty close to the walls and only two sections of wall to assault. I decide to focus everybody one one section since we are pretty evenly matched. Get my swordsmen to clear the walls and get my bowmen and wizard up on those walls. Meanwhile have the knights charge through the gates once they are down and then send in the pikemen to fend off the countercharge by their knights. But it has been awhile so I have no idea how to do that. A lot hangs on my ability to remember how this shit works on the fly.



'Ok does anybody know how to use these things?'

So I make some mistakes and it was not helped by some graphical bug that made it look like the ram was at the gates when it was still back with the pack. This caused my to charge my knights too early and get them shot down when they had nowhere to go. I ended up losing way too many guys to their crossbowmen before we really got engaged especially my poor Pistoliers who I thought were being held in reserve but were actually in range.



'Ok the gates are down! Get in there knights and Pistoliers! Guys? Oh shit.'

But despite brutal casualties they stormed the gates and managed to clear the walls. To my surprise the Middenland knights never counter-charged. They kept a large reserve in the city center and this turned out to how I managed to win despite all my improvisation and mistakes. If they had just had those guys at the point of attack I think Karl Franz would have lost.



'Victory! Hundreds of brave men of the Empire have died fighting each other!'

Yeah who needs the Vampire Counts and Chaos around with all this going on.



'RIP Reiksgard Knights. You were the best of us. Oh but look at the shiny armor!'

Speaking of Chaos...



'Hey guys just give us a bit of time to murder each other alright? Say...50 more turns? That would be great ok thnx bye.'

But still no Boris Todbringer. Where is he? Well Middenland had invaded Hochland and he and his army was hiding out in the mountains in the Brass Keep (which is neither brass nor a keep but anyway...)



'Wow that is a pretty big army Boris, very astute of you not to use it at all when your entire province got conquered.'

So Karl Franz retreats back to Middenheim to build up his army for another big battle but then fate intervenes. Or rather Marienburg intervenes.



'Man what is up with much smaller nations aggressively going to war with major powers?'

But a hostile enemy on the border with Reikland is intolerable. Losing even one town in Reikland would be disastrous for the economy. Fortunately Boris Todbringer has had enough.



'Very well Boris enjoy sitting in that shitty non-brass non-keep in Hochland.'

Huh I guess the fact he has such a large army there is evidence the AI doesn't worry about army support. Anyway consider this almost revenge. I really wanted Karl Franz to ride down the treacherous Todbringer and crack his scull but I will have to settle for this. For now anyway.

Time to turn westwards. Hopefully I can finish the fortifications in Montfort soon. I anticipate the assault on Marienburg proper will be a huge battle so I want Adelbert Todbringer's army to join Karl Franz for the assault. But it is not finished and Parravon and Lord Cassyon are not finished threatening Montfort.



'Ah yes let's put these mortars to the test!'

So the battle of La Maisontaal Abbey is about to begin, being fought just outside Montfort at a holy site in the Brettonian religion.



'Here is my square formation. Napoleon would be proud.'

Will the Brettonians be suicidal enough to charge my formation or will they wisely retreat? Oh who are we kidding? These are the Brettonians.



'They charge valiantly'



'and are butchered valiantly'

I did learn my mortar has somewhat limited ammo. Bummer that fight was not very long. I question how useful this unit might be in a long siege battle, for example.

Anyway hopefuly that will teach Parravon a lesson for awhile. Time to march on Marienburg or, as it was formerly known in more righteous times, the Imperial Province of Westerland.



'Prepare to be re-united with your beloved Emperor!'

Karl Franz will lead his army on Gorssel. Once it is taken he will move south to link up with the Southern Army and then advance on Marienburg. Hopefully Montfort and the rest of our towns can stay safe just long enough...

[jimmy olsen]

Just noticed part II Valmy, it's really good. Will there be any more?

[Valmy]

Just noticed part II Valmy, it's really good. Will there be any more?

Yep. Got distracted by family and stuff. Should have part III out by the end of the week.

[Syt]

Karl-Franz Holswig Schliestein

Being from Schleswig-Holstein this feels weird. And very lazy on GW's part.

[Valmy]

GW models their stuff just a bit too closely on RW equivalents at times. Which is annoying because their stuff is usually very cool otherwise.

I am taking some time getting this shit done and when I get around to posting it you will all see why.