How would you do the Star Wars prequels/sequels?

[Drakken]

The Godfather part III wasn't that bad. Sofia Coppola was bad but not Keanu Reeves-with-English-accent bad. Bridget Fonda was hot the few seconds we got to see her, we got Joe Mantegna as an expy for Joe Columbo, and they had a friggin' helicopter mob massacre through the roof of a hotel suite. That does give the movie a lot of redeeming value.

It's the worst of the Mario Puzo trilogy, but it is still lightyears better than any of the Star Wars prequels. Hell, it is lightyears better than the original Star Wars trilogy itself.

[Queequeg]

I was thinking about this today so:

Episode 1 begins with Palpatine recruiting Maul on Naboo. Maul is maybe 15, poor, lives on outskirts of the Vienna-Constantinopley splendor of the planet. He's an orphan.

Anakin raised on Tatooine. Father dead in raid by Neo-Mandilorians. He's about the same age. No love for the Republic.

Amidala is force sensitive heir to Naboo powerful enough to sense something wrong w Palpatine when no one else can.

Film ends with Anakin killing Maul.

2 Anakin is simultaneously trained as Jedi and something of a a Sith. No Dooku, but another Jedi has fallen and claims the mantle of the Sith and hijacks a rebellion Palpatine is behind. This is used to explore elements of Sith culture and teachings. Palpatine becomes Sith Yoda.

3 The Republic is collapsing even as victory occurs. The Clone Army allows almost unlimited power to the Chancellor and much of the Jedi have died in the rebellion. Anakin capable of drawing on both sides of force. The final break is the revelation of Padme's pregnancy and Palpatine explaining that only through the Sith teaching does he have a future as a family. Padme killed in Order 66 equivalent after giving birth. Anakin believes he has been abandoned. Fights Obi Wan, loses. Sith triumphant, peace achieved, parallel to the celebration montage in Return.

[Josquius]

Not episodes, but rules:

1: No child actors. Anakin is not seen as quite so special as he is recruited. He's still there as a kid but not a major character.

2: Darth Maul is cool. Yet they kill him after a few scenes in 1. He kills Qui Gon and gets away. He survives Phantom Menace. Obi Wan and Anakin finally get him in episode 2. Perhaps even early into episode 3.
This can be tied into Anakin being groomed for the dark side. Palpatine recognises his potential. Sees Darth Maul getting a bit too out of his control. Indirectly sets up the fight where the jedi get him.

3: Push the story forward. Yes its a prequel. But we want revelations. Not just a story we already kind of know. Point out why more things in episode 4 are the way they are. Plant some seeds for episode 7.

4: Dialogue that sounds like something real people would say.

[Barrister]

I was thinking about this today so:

Episode 1 begins with Palpatine recruiting Maul on Naboo. Maul is maybe 15, poor, lives on outskirts of the Vienna-Constantinopley splendor of the planet. He's an orphan.

Anakin raised on Tatooine. Father dead in raid by Neo-Mandilorians. He's about the same age. No love for the Republic.

Amidala is force sensitive heir to Naboo powerful enough to sense something wrong w Palpatine when no one else can.

Film ends with Anakin killing Maul.

2 Anakin is simultaneously trained as Jedi and something of a a Sith. No Dooku, but another Jedi has fallen and claims the mantle of the Sith and hijacks a rebellion Palpatine is behind. This is used to explore elements of Sith culture and teachings. Palpatine becomes Sith Yoda.

3 The Republic is collapsing even as victory occurs. The Clone Army allows almost unlimited power to the Chancellor and much of the Jedi have died in the rebellion. Anakin capable of drawing on both sides of force. The final break is the revelation of Padme's pregnancy and Palpatine explaining that only through the Sith teaching does he have a future as a family. Padme killed in Order 66 equivalent after giving birth. Anakin believes he has been abandoned. Fights Obi Wan, loses. Sith triumphant, peace achieved, parallel to the celebration montage in Return.

Your summary doesn't sound any better or worse when put on paper (or computer screen) than what Lucas shot.

I still maintain it comes down to execution.

[Valmy]

I would have the Clone Army be a mysterious force that is invading the galaxy and the resulting militarization of the Republic leads to its fall with Anakin having to fall to the Dark Side in order to defeat it. Or perhaps by the time Anakin comes along the Clones have already destroyed the Republic and chaos is reigning and he gets tempted to bring order to the Galaxy.

[lustindarkness]

I would have Darth Maul cut George Lucas in half. Roll credits.

[celedhring]

4: Dialogue that sounds like something real people would say.

Most movie dialogue doesn't sound like stuff real people would say. We are pretty boring.

I agree about Maul. Well, not necessarily about Maul itself, but the prequels set up and killed off antagonists too quickly (Maul, Dooku, Grievous), and none of them ended up being memorable villains as a result.

[The Brain]

I would have the Clone Army be a mysterious force that is invading the galaxy and the resulting militarization of the Republic leads to its fall with Anakin having to fall to the Dark Side in order to defeat it. Or perhaps by the time Anakin comes along the Clones have already destroyed the Republic and chaos is reigning and he gets tempted to bring order to the Galaxy.

Make the space-trains run on space-time.

[Barrister]

4: Dialogue that sounds like something real people would say.

Most movie dialogue doesn't sound like stuff real people would say. We are pretty boring.

I agree about Maul. Well, not necessarily about Maul itself, but the prequels set up and killed off antagonists too quickly (Maul, Dooku, Grievous), and none of them ended up being memorable villains as a result.

They bring back Darth Maul in the Clone Wars cartoon.  I didn't find him to be very interesting or compelling even when given more screen time.

General Greivous, on the other hand, did have an interesting story to tell...

[MadImmortalMan]

General Greivous, on the other hand, did have an interesting story to tell...

Except he was the most cartoonish and silly of the group. Not to mention the natural endpoint of extreme lightsaber inflation.

[Barrister]

General Greivous, on the other hand, did have an interesting story to tell...

Except he was the most cartoonish and silly of the group. Not to mention the natural endpoint of extreme lightsaber inflation.

Agree about lightsabre inflation, but the story of a warrior why accepts more and more cybernetic enhancements, until he has little of his original body left (yet refuses to even question himself about whetehr it really was for the better) was more interesting than Darth Maul or Dooku.

[Malthus]

General Greivous, on the other hand, did have an interesting story to tell...

Except he was the most cartoonish and silly of the group. Not to mention the natural endpoint of extreme lightsaber inflation.

Agree about lightsabre inflation, but the story of a warrior why accepts more and more cybernetic enhancements, until he has little of his original body left (yet refuses to even question himself about whetehr it really was for the better) was more interesting than Darth Maul or Dooku.

Sort of like a cross between Star Wars and The Human Centipede. 

[viper37]

3: Push the story forward. Yes its a prequel. But we want revelations. Not just a story we already kind of know. Point out why more things in episode 4 are the way they are. Plant some seeds for episode 7.

hmm, the strenght of Star Wars has always been that nothing is really explained.  We don't know what is the Force, where it comes from really.   We don't know (as of Ep IV) how was the Empire created, who is this rebel alliance striking against the Empire.  How big was the defeat for the Empire?  Who's Vader, how does he fit into in the chain of command?  There's a lot of mystery, and that was fascinating.

[Grinning_Colossus]

Episode I: Knights of the Republic

The greedy Trade Federation is blockading the peaceful planet of Naboo in retaliation for interference in its spice monopoly or something. Queen Amidala refuses to yield to their demands, and Chancellor Valorum dispatches two Jedi Knights, Obi-wan Kenobi (at the request of Amidala, who'd worked with him before) and Illiater Pelora or something, and their apprentices Anakin Skywalker and Padme Nabierre, to mediate the dispute -- and to investigate whispered rumors that the rogue Jedi Curumo is behind it. They arrive just in time to witness the Federation's droid army and their Gungan allies storm the capital, Theed. They rescue Queen Amidala and flee into the wilderness. Anakin and Padme can sense each other's emotions and sometimes thoughts; they've kept this secret from their masters. Also, there are hints of romantic tension between Obi-wan and Illiater.

Amidala tells them that she knows where to find an ally and leads them to the lair of the exiled Gungan prince, Jarar Binks. Just as they arrive, they're attacked by war droids and a demonic warrior with a red lightsaber. Illiater takes a wound (but doesn't tell anyone), and, knowing that she'll slow the party down, stays behind to cover their escape. Jarar takes them to his ship, and they take off. Obi-wan watches from the cockpit as the sith tortures a disarmed Illater to death with force lightning. Jarar ignores his pleas to go back for her. They run the blockade and make it to Coruscant.

Cut to Maul, surrounded by a group of men who appear to be identical octuplets. He tells them that the Jedi will return. And when they do, they'll them all.

On Coruscant, Naboo's senator, Sheeev Palpatine, tell them that Theed is occupied by a joint droid-Gungan army, and that King Nast of the Gungans has thanked the Federation for restoring control of the planet to the indigenous population and, of course, restored the previous trade agreement. Jarar says that he's outraged by his father's aggression against the humans and willingness to become a client king... but at the same time, the Gungans are politically underrepresented. Palpatine, Amidala, and Jarar meet to plan their strategy and direct Obi-wan to inform the Jedi of what happened on Naboo and ask for their assistance in its liberation. The Jedi Council is greatly disturbed to learn of Illiater's death at the hands of an unknown dark Jedi... but they urge caution and tell Obi-wan that the best course is to wait and see if the Senate can find a political solution. Obi-wan is not happy. Meanwhile, amid the monuments of a republic a thousand generations old, Padme is mourning the death of her master. She never knew her real family, and Illiater was the closest thing she had. Anakin says that they need to strive to give up all attachment and find pea- Padme cuts him off telepathically and asks him is he really believes that. What's the point of a society--of life!--if not to connect to others, to see the world that exists within them, and to love them? He replies that he doesn't know.

Valorum refuses to take decisive action against the Federation, prompting Palpatine to call a vote of no-confidence, which succeeds. The Senate then starts the process of electing a new Chancellor. However, it won't be able to vote on military action until the new Chancellor is elected, which will take some weeks at least. Amidala is getting reports of massacres and Nabooian intellectuals and destruction of cultural sites and is out for blood. Palpatine tells her there may be another way: Prince Jarar has a plan.

Obi-wan seeks out his old master, Yoda, for guidance. He asks if he's right to want to go back to Naboo, or if emotion is clouding his judgment. Yoda tells him that the dark side is clouding everything, even the judgment of the Jedi Council. Yoda says that, strictly speaking, the Council didn't bar *him* from returning to Naboo--or from asking other Jedi to go--it only refrained from offering its official support. Obi-wan asks if this is why Yoda was kicked off the Council... and if he's volunteering.

Obi-wan, Yoda, Anakin, Padme, Amidala, and Jarar return to Naboo, secretly landing outside of the Gungan capital. Jarar tells them that he only needs to meet with his father--if he can, he can guarantee that the Gungans will switch sides. Obi-wan is incredulous, but Amidala assures him that Jarar knows what he's doing. Mind-tricks get them most of the way, but they have to fight their way into the palace itself. At last, Jarar confronts King Nast... and challenges him to a fight to the death. They fight, and Jarar wins, becoming the new king of the Gungans. He tells his people that his father brought them dishonor by allowing himself to be made a stooge of foreign merchants. But he was right about one thing: The Naboo have been lording over the Gungans for too long. If the Gungans expel the Federation from Naboo, Palpatine will turn over his seat, and Jarar will become the first Gungan senator.

Gungan land and air forces attack the droids. Amidala and the Jedi fly to Theed (the Jedi have fighters, so there's the obligatory dogfight) and storm the palace, hoping to capture the Federation leadership. Maul tells holographic-Curumo that all has transpired as he foresaw. Good, Curumo says. Capture the Jedi apprentices, kill everyone else, and lay waste to all of Naboo on your way out. Maul goes to his men, all of whom have red lightsabers, and asks them if they want to kill some Jedi.

Maul and the clones attack the Jedi. They succeed in separating the apprentices from the masters. Obi-wan and Yoda realize that the apprentices and Maul have disappeared, but it takes them a while to work through the 8 force-clones.

Padme and Anakin fight Maul alone. Padme gets trapped behind some crazy series of force fields and watches helplessly as Anakin tries to hold his own against Maul. Anakin gets his saber hand cut off; the saber goes flying. Maul tells him that his master told him to capture him... but that he personally doesn't feel like being discarded and replaced. He starts torturing Anakin with force lightning. Anakin psychically screams to Padme for help, and she plunges her lightsaber into the force field, destroying both her saber and the field, charges into the room with Maul, then jumps across the big chasm in the middle of the room. In mid-air, she force-pulls Anakin's saber to her, and, screaming, attacks Maul. She fights incredibly aggressively, hate in her eyes, but Maul still parries every thrust, and Maul eventually forces her to the edge of the chasm. Then, Anakin, using his one good hand, hits Maul in the back with force lighting. He screams in pain, his back smoking and cracking open as the energy strikes it. Padme, screaming, stabs Maul through the chest, and then the force of Anakin's lightning knocks him into the chasm.
They agree not to tell Obi-wan what happened.

With Naboo liberated, Amidala hits on Obi-wan, but he rebukes her. There's a dinotopian victory parade in Theed, and everyone's given a medal by Binks and Amidala. Anakin and Padme quietly step aside, and, overcome by the moment, kiss.

Back on Coruscant, Binks and Amidala jointly tell the Senate that, while they spent weeks debating the Chancellorship, Palpatine took it upon himself to enlist the Jedi, unite two warring peoples, and liberate his planet. This is the kind of decisive action that the Republic needs in a leader. The Senate is swayed, and elects him Chancellor. Palpatine appoints Binks as his replacement in the Senate.

Then, multiple Republic worlds come under attack by... Jedi? Curumo announces to the world that the Republic is under the sway of the Sith and that he and his clones will liberate them. Yoda suspects that Curumo himself has become a Sith, because always two there are. Also, begun this Clone War has.

[Berkut]

That is a pretty kick ass story right there!