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Teen suicide

Started by Berkut, January 17, 2016, 08:28:41 PM

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Berkut

In the last couple of months, two boys at my sons high school have killed themselves. One about 6 weeks ago, and another just last week.


Neither case had any kind of indicators that I am aware of, but we were not close to either family, so it is hard to say. Both seemed well adjusted, middle class young men.


This is really kind of freaking me out. I don't think it is possible that either of my kids would do something like that...but I suspect that their parents probably thought the same thing.


I am not even sure how to talk to them about it - and it seems like NOT talking to them about it might be the worst possible choice. I am sure it is being talked about in school.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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dps

Is it certain that they were suicides?  The reason I ask is that there was a guy I went to high school with that either jumped or fell off a cliff, but there was a lot of speculation among us that he was actually pushed.

Razgovory

I imagine the American medical association or similar organizations has lists of warning signs.  Make sure to keep in contact with your kid's teachers.  They typically have the most experience in seeing changes in behavior that precipitates a suicide, and they see the kid everyday and evaluate the kid's work.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Monoriu

Happens in Hong Kong all the time, and it isn't just teens.  I read that 15-20 students of all ages offed themselves in the past 3-4 months.  Here, most schools have morning assemblies where all students line up in formation to listen to teachers' lectures.  A few years ago a student chose to jump off the school building during a morning assembly, and made a splash in full view of the entire school. 

katmai

It is tough Berkie.
My father's best friend daughter was by all means a happy well adjusted and beautiful kid
(was a member of the swim team, as well as diving, track and weightlifting. She was a member of the National Honor Society)
Yet one day in summer of 2012 her parents went to Home Depot only to return home and find that she had used her dad's handgun to commit suicide.

over three years later and not sure her parents have been able to recover.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Admiral Yi

There was an Atlantic article about 6 months back about suicides in the Palo Alto area.  The thesis was that children of high achievers have an impossible amount of pressure to compete.

Martinus

Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 17, 2016, 09:57:42 PM
There was an Atlantic article about 6 months back about suicides in the Palo Alto area.  The thesis was that children of high achievers have an impossible amount of pressure to compete.

Phew, so Berkut's kids are safe then.








Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week. Try the veal. :P

Maladict

Quote from: Berkut on January 17, 2016, 08:28:41 PM
I am not even sure how to talk to them about it - and it seems like NOT talking to them about it might be the worst possible choice. I am sure it is being talked about in school.

I think the important part is making sure that they feel comfortable enough about talking about it, if ever they need someone to turn to.

The few cases I know of personally (attempts only), the feeling of not being able to share their feelings, out of shame or fear of being misunderstood is what made it escalate eventually.

mongers

Is it the world we created?
"We have it in our power to begin the world over again"

Grey Fox

#9
Stress, Fear & the youthful inability to deal with my emotions are what gave me suicidal ideas.

I never talked about it with my parents, nor do I think they ever suspected. Someone at school told the school Psychologist.

I am not being helpful, sorry Berkut. I don't know how to deal with this either.
Colonel Caliga is Awesome.

Syt

At my niece's school in Florida, a teenage boy shot himself in the head in front of class. He survived. Apparently he was a victim of bullying.
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

DGuller

Quote from: Martinus on January 18, 2016, 06:53:12 AM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 17, 2016, 09:57:42 PM
There was an Atlantic article about 6 months back about suicides in the Palo Alto area.  The thesis was that children of high achievers have an impossible amount of pressure to compete.

Phew, so Berkut's kids are safe then.








Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week. Try the veal. :P
:pinch: Come on, man, that's not cool.

DGuller

Apart from anything else, seems like the one obvious thing is to not have guns in the house.  If all else fails and your kid's suicide attempt catches you completely by surprise, at least give your kid a chance to fuck it up.

Berkut

Quote from: dps on January 17, 2016, 08:34:56 PM
Is it certain that they were suicides?  The reason I ask is that there was a guy I went to high school with that either jumped or fell off a cliff, but there was a lot of speculation among us that he was actually pushed.

Yes, it is certain. In both cases there is no ambiguity.

In other news, we got to wake up this morning to the news of a double murder suicide at Genesee College, a SUNY school near Rochester, and the victims were former Rochester high schoolers.

WTF.
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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Berkut

Quote from: Martinus on January 18, 2016, 06:53:12 AM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 17, 2016, 09:57:42 PM
There was an Atlantic article about 6 months back about suicides in the Palo Alto area.  The thesis was that children of high achievers have an impossible amount of pressure to compete.

Phew, so Berkut's kids are safe then.








Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week. Try the veal. :P

You are such a dick. :P

Thanks Marty, I actually could use a chuckle. :)
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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