News:

And we're back!

Main Menu

Facebook Follies of Friends and Families

Started by Syt, December 06, 2015, 01:55:02 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

DGuller

Quote from: Barrister on March 06, 2024, 01:03:01 PMAnd that's where the marine points to the parable of the drowning man.  If you're asking God to do something that's a pretty wide-open request...
It's worth a shot, but what if he's still found competent to stand trial?

Jacob

#14176
It's pretty much an inversion of the parable of the drowning man. Like most of the radical evangelical right, it's basically satanic in its apparently willful inversion of the faith it claims to represent.

crazy canuck

Quote from: Barrister on March 06, 2024, 12:12:31 PMI don't mind the marine punches the college professor story.

It's the parable of the drowning man.

QuoteA storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_drowning_man

It's kind of meant as a joke, but has some truth to it as well.  God works in mysterious ways.  Why would God need to smote the professor from the heavens when there's a Marine sitting right there?

The meme could have been a little less vulgar, and the reference to "God being busy protecting his buddies" takes away from the overall message, but otherwise it's fine.

If there is a God, who allows a marine to strike a professor, that God is not worth being worshipped and is actually downright evil.

HVC

At the very least the marine is a bad Christian. Even without the turn the other cheek thing. Even Jesus stopped Peter from committing violence to protect him when he was getting arrested at Gethsemane. Sure his timing was a little late, since a guy lost an ear, but he had a lot on his mind :lol: .
Being lazy is bad; unless you still get what you want, then it's called "patience".
Hubris must be punished. Severely.

Crazy_Ivan80

Quote from: HVC on March 06, 2024, 04:55:02 PMAt the very least the marine is a bad Christian. Even without the turn the other cheek thing. Even Jesus stopped Peter from committing violence to protect him when he was getting arrested at Gethsemane. Sure his timing was a little late, since a guy lost an ear, but he had a lot on his mind :lol: .
and he reattached it, iirc.

Admiral Yi

Quote from: Barrister on March 06, 2024, 12:12:31 PMI don't mind the marine punches the college professor story.

It's the parable of the drowning man.

QuoteA storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_drowning_man

It's kind of meant as a joke, but has some truth to it as well.  God works in mysterious ways.  Why would God need to smote the professor from the heavens when there's a Marine sitting right there?

The meme could have been a little less vulgar, and the reference to "God being busy protecting his buddies" takes away from the overall message, but otherwise it's fine.

Does your story still work if no rescue had shown up?

Josquius

It sounds like real God of the gaps stuff.
Anything happens: you can put a god in there.
██████
██████
██████

Admiral Yi

Quote from: Jacob on March 06, 2024, 04:36:56 PMIt's pretty much an inversion of the parable of the drowning man. Like most of the radical evangelical right, it's basically satanic in its apparently willful inversion of the faith it claims to represent.

I think the parable of the drowning man is pretty fucked too.  It's God claiming credit for the good acts of others.  God didn't will the helicopter pilot to fly to the church.  He made that choice himself.  Just like the Marine.

Tamas

I guarantee it that you collectively have spent 50 times as much time analysing that daft piece than its original creator ever put into writing it, and about 500 times more than Syt's relative thinking about it.

Darth Wagtaros

Well its writer was probably a Russian or Chinese bot, so yeah.
PDH!

viper37

Quote from: Barrister on March 06, 2024, 12:46:06 PMBut then again - there are different flavours of evangelicalism.  Heck many/most black churches in the US are evangelical.
Blacks are increasingly voting for Trump.  It's not really a measure of anything.

I've stopped trying to understand any of these ultra religious people.

Besides, while we're in the Facebook thread  (too bad, they now clearly marked it as fake :P )

https://tinyurl.com/33ys6f47
I don't do meditation.  I drink alcohol to relax, like normal people.

If Microsoft Excel decided to stop working overnight, the world would practically end.

Valmy

Quote from: viper37 on March 06, 2024, 09:33:24 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 06, 2024, 12:46:06 PMBut then again - there are different flavours of evangelicalism.  Heck many/most black churches in the US are evangelical.
Blacks are increasingly voting for Trump.  It's not really a measure of anything.

I've stopped trying to understand any of these ultra religious people.

Besides, while we're in the Facebook thread  (too bad, they now clearly marked it as fake :P )

https://tinyurl.com/33ys6f47

Blacks are not increasingly voting for Trump.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

viper37

Quote from: Valmy on March 06, 2024, 10:20:40 PMBlacks are not increasingly voting for Trump.
I would respectefully disagree

Let's say they may not be "increasingly voting" for the orange clown, but they are "increasingly supporting" him.

8% in 2016.  12% in 2020.  Somewhere between 15% and 20% now.

QuoteHowever, Patrick Murray, director of the polling institute at Monmouth University, said that some polls show Trump's support among Black voters has steadily increased from 12% depending on the methodology used and the margin of error. Most polls show that number anywhere between 15% and 20%.

Meanwhile, Biden's support among Black voters has slipped from 87% to 63%.

Biden is losing support among Latinos, Blacks and Arabs.

This is going to get ugly.

They may not all commit to vote for Trump on the ballot, but they risk repeating Hillary's moment and not voting.  Which is a definite advantage to Trump.

Despite all the talks about moderate Republicans being repelled by Trump, I don't believe they will refrain from voting for him in the general election.  They'll close rank on him.
I don't do meditation.  I drink alcohol to relax, like normal people.

If Microsoft Excel decided to stop working overnight, the world would practically end.

Valmy

Quote from: viper37 on March 06, 2024, 11:43:33 PM8% in 2016.  12% in 2020.  Somewhere between 15% and 20% now.

We'll see. You have to excuse me if I am not skeptical. The blacks are about to vote Republican any minute has been a constant propaganda thing for decades.
Quote"This is a Russian warship. I propose you lay down arms and surrender to avoid bloodshed & unnecessary victims. Otherwise, you'll be bombed."

Zmiinyi defenders: "Russian warship, go fuck yourself."

Syt

Quote from: Razgovory on March 06, 2024, 12:41:56 PMPresumably if the Professor said "If God exists, cure my cancer" the Marine would have done that.

Well, in the (brilliant and hilarious) movie Adam's Apples (which draws from the Book of Job), pastor Mads Mikkelsen had his brain tumor removed by a thug shooting him in the head, so .... :P
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.