It's Bibipalooza! Live, from Congress! One show only!

[Neil]

So much for loyal opposition.  It's kinda galling to see a party that likes to trumpet itself as the most jingoistic of the jingos betraying their country for the sake of Iran.

[Jacob]

Iran Offers to Mediate Talks Between Republicans and Obama

TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that "their continuing hostilities are a threat to world peace," Iran has offered to mediate talks between congressional Republicans and President Obama.

Iran's Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei, made the offer one day after Iran received what he called a "worrisome letter" from Republican leaders, which suggested to him that "the relationship between Republicans and Obama has deteriorated dangerously."

"Tensions between these two historic enemies have been high in recent years, but we believe they are now at a boiling point," Khamenei said. "As a result, Iran feels it must offer itself as a peacemaker."

He said that his nation was the "logical choice" to jumpstart negotiations between Obama and the Republicans because "it has become clear that both sides currently talk more to Iran than to each other."

He invited Obama and the Republicans to meet in Tehran to hash out their differences and called on world powers to force the two bitter foes to the bargaining table, adding, "It is time to stop the madness."

Hours after Iran made its offer, President Obama said that he was willing to meet with his congressional adversaries under the auspices of Tehran, but questioned whether "any deal reached with Republicans is worth the paper it's written on."

For their part, the Republicans said they would only agree to talks if there were no preconditions, such as recognizing President Obama's existence.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/iran-offers-to-mediate-talks-between-republicans-and-obama?utm_content=bufferb22b5&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

[celedhring]

So far I have found New Yorker's treading into The Onion's territory to be a bit lacking, but this one is actually quite good.

[Queequeg]

Plus moron
(a) does not get the Purim story right,
(b) is unaware that Purim story is a fantasy.  Like much of the speech.

Isn't Cyrus called The Anointed in the Tanakh?  Kind of amusing to point to a fantasy constructed so that Jews could celebrate Nowruz like their Persian friends, including the Messiah Cyrus, would be used as a slur against Persians by Jews 2,500 years later.

[The Minsky Moment]

Persian period is really a kind of blind spot in Jewish history.  I don't recall hearing anything about it in Hebrew School, sermons, etc.; the few Biblical books that have narrative of the period are odd and problematic even by Biblical standards; there is a void of solid historical source material.  I suspect that by the time literature starts to flourish in the Hellenistic period none of the powers that be had much interest in preserving memories of that period - the Jerusalem priesthood because it seems likely Jerusalem Temple did not in fact enjoy unquestioned primacy during the period, the Hasmoneans because they were parvenus and because the few Biblical accounts seemed to privilege scribal authority.

Still it seems clear enough that in the broad sweep of Jewish history with all its misfortunes, the Achaemenids were overall pretty darn Good for the Jews (TM).  For that matter the Parthians and the Sassanids weren't too shabby either.

[alfred russel]

Still it seems clear enough that in the broad sweep of Jewish history with all its misfortunes, the Achaemenids were overall pretty darn Good for the Jews (TM).  For that matter the Parthians and the Sassanids weren't too shabby either.

Maybe hitler was just trying to make is fellow indo europeans look better?

[MadImmortalMan]

Hossein Sheikholeslam, the secretary-general of the Committee for Support for the Palestinian Intifada: "The issue of Israel's destruction is important, no matter the method. We will obviously implement the strategy of the Imam Khomeini and the Leader [Khamenei] on the issue of destroying the Zionists. The region will not be quiet so long as Israel exists in it ..." (2014)

I don't know what's funnier---that guy's name or that there's a committee by that name.

Sheik Hole Slam of the CSPI.   

[Berkut]

47 Republican Senators should be impeached for borderline treason. Fucking despicable.

One of the most infuriating thing about this is that there isn't even a deal to oppose - they are basically saying that they are against ANY deal at all.

So what does that leave? The only possible way of dealing with Iran is war? They certainly aren't in favor of letting them have a bomb, right?

So if diplomacy is not an option, what is the alternative?

[jimmy olsen]

It isn't without precedent. I remember for instance Republicans traveling to climate change conferences to try to undermine the chance of Obama making a deal and telling foreign representatives some of the same arguments here.

I am sure no foreigners who negotiate with the US have remedial knowledge of our Constitution.  They are just trying to be helpful and no trying to undermine diplomacy at all.  I am sure they will inform them what 'USA' stands for and give them a cheat sheet on all the state capitals.

Just because they have knowledge of it doesn't mean they believe we follow it.

From what I've read the KGB was always searching for the real puppet masters who ran the country, and Putin's statements to GWB show that he didn't really see a difference between how he did things and how Bush did.

[grumbler]

47 Republican Senators should be impeached for borderline treason. Fucking despicable.

One of the most infuriating thing about this is that there isn't even a deal to oppose - they are basically saying that they are against ANY deal at all.

that's not true.  If Netanyahu had told them to support some deal, they would obey.  I don't think you can really blame the Republicans for being obstructionist when they are just following orders.

[The Minsky Moment]

Obstructing proposed legislation, including a treaty ratification, through the usual means available to Congress -- is one thing.

Congressional freelance diplomacy - sending a demarche directly to a foreign power - is another; looks to me like a pretty big breach of separation of powers.

I can't personally recall another incident quite like this one.

[The Brain]

Btw I don't know if you fags noticed, but the present SocDem-Green governement of Sweden managed to piss off both Israel and the Arabs and now the whole of the ME hates us. I'm sure this was all part of some incredibly awesome plan, but I have yet to fully understand the genuis of it.

[Valmy]

Btw I don't know if you fags noticed, but the present SocDem-Green governement of Sweden managed to piss off both Israel and the Arabs and now the whole of the ME hates us. I'm sure this was all part of some incredibly awesome plan, but I have yet to fully understand the genuis of it.

How did they manage that?  Granted that is not hard to manage.  Everybody in that region is pretty touchy.

[The Brain]

Btw I don't know if you fags noticed, but the present SocDem-Green governement of Sweden managed to piss off both Israel and the Arabs and now the whole of the ME hates us. I'm sure this was all part of some incredibly awesome plan, but I have yet to fully understand the genuis of it.

How did they manage that?  Granted that is not hard to manage.  Everybody in that region is pretty touchy.

First they recognized the state of Palestine and then they told the Saudis (an important business partner) that their medieval bullshit was just that. The foreign minister had been invited to the Arab League to speak but after those comments was very publicly stopped from addressing the League. Foreign minister Loserfuck (a braindead retard) failed majestically...

[mongers]

Obstructing proposed legislation, including a treaty ratification, through the usual means available to Congress -- is one thing.

Congressional freelance diplomacy - sending a demarche directly to a foreign power - is another; looks to me like a pretty big breach of separation of powers.

I can't personally recall another incident quite like this one.

I'll be dreadful if this idiocy sets a 'precedent'.

But who is there to smack them down? Can the White House or perhaps a political/libertarian/rights NGO take a case to the supreme court?