Why are we criminalizing childhood independence?

[11B4V]

What I meant is that the society, as a whole, is making more rules for parents because otherwise other people may be liable if something happens to a child.

ah, gotcha

[Ideologue]

The worst thing that ever happened to modern society is the erosion of the concept of acceptable losses.

[Martinus]

I can not stand bullies and don't know really why. I hate those mother fuckers (bullies), fuck I hate those pieces of shit. I was never bullied or a bully in school, even though I was big for my age. Not katmai big, but tall wise.

I sometimes wonder whether bullying is/was a bigger problem in the US, or whether it is the issue of perception. Don't get me wrong, I dislike bullies as well. But I think it is something that the society these days overreacts to.

When I was at school, I was a nerdy kid with a light speech impediment, who didn't like girls, was bad at sports, did not have many friends and had parents who were better off than most. My parents also weren't helicopter parents, so I walked to and from school on a daily basis (it was a walk of approximately 20 minutes in a small town area). My school was also a public school, with kids from all social backgrounds (we had a bunch of juvenile delinquents or children of alcoholics, petty criminals etc.). And yes, I was in a couple of fights, and sometimes was called names, but I don't recall bullying as some sort of a traumatic experience (definitely nothing that would push me anywhere near suicide or even switching schools).

So I wonder whether people exaggerate their experiences with bullying, or whether those who actually seriously suffer from it (and end up killing themselves or contemplate that) have psychological problems to begin with or more serious issues at home (such as child abuse and the like).

[Richard Hakluyt]

If that is bullying then it was 100% prevalent in the schools I attended. What we called bullying back then was the consistent bad treatment that some poor fucker got for being different, usually one or two of these per class of about 30.

[Martinus]

If that is bullying then it was 100% prevalent in the schools I attended. What we called bullying back then was the consistent bad treatment that some poor fucker got for being different, usually one or two of these per class of about 30.

Yeah, but it was rare, and frequently these poor fuckers had not-so-great personalities, too.

But what I mean is that, if you listen to public people who are in their late 20s or early 30s these days, it looks like as if everybody was severely bullied as a child. And everybody treats bullying as if it was one of the top social problems, right up there with poverty, world hunger and climate change. At least that's my perception as I watch more gay media and with "It Gets Better" and that type of projects, it seems prevalent. Maybe the mainstream heterosexual perception is different.

[Richard Hakluyt]

Being a "victim" is being a "winner" nowadays, we will reach peak victim soon enough 

[Eddie Teach]

When I was at school, I was a nerdy kid with a light speech impediment, who didn't like girls, was bad at sports,

You could just say you were a gay kid. More succinct.

[Martinus]

When I was at school, I was a nerdy kid with a light speech impediment, who didn't like girls, was bad at sports,

You could just say you were a gay kid. More succinct.

This being Languish, this would have caused a dozen of motherfuckers challenging that as I wasn't openly gay/didn't realise I was gay, etc.

[Razgovory]

I was bullied mercilessly as a child.   The psychiatric thought that it might have caused me to go mad.

[Caliga]

You were supposed to have done this, Raz.

[Warspite]

Does anyone else find it remarkable how quickly this has happened? In the 1990s I was free to go into central London by myself (an hour's journey from the suburbs) and walk around my part of town as much as I wanted, provided it was not too late. I also made the bus and walking journey to school every day on my own, including during winter where it would be dark by home-time.

When we lived in Israel as diplomats, I essentially was given the freedom of Tel Aviv provided I was back before dark.

In Indonesia as diplomats, I was given a travel budget to take taxis where and when I wanted, and my dad was fine with me going to bars at the age of 15 and 16 provided I didn't turn up at home wasted. Privileges were temporarily suspended when a friend of mine threw up over my parent's car in the garage after the headmaster's daughter had given us a lift home. (She was battered as well.) The punishment was two hours of tennis coaching the next day. Tropical heat + hangover = not good.

I wonder to what extent the difference is explained by the generation of the parents. Both mine were born in the 1940s; the helicopter parents seem to be of a later breed?

Discuss.

[celedhring]

My parents were born in the 1950s, and gave me quite reasonable leeway. At 10 years old I was allowed to go to school unaccompanied, which was around 10 blocks from my home. Same for most of my classmates. I could go and play to a nearby park after school, etc... without problems as long as I was at home before dark.

At 12-13 I was allowed to hitch the train and go to downtown Barcelona (I lived in the suburbs), go to the movies, etc... with a 10pm curfew. That was later extended and then lifted when I was 16, as long as I gave notice of where I'd be (usually I'd lie).

Bars, etc... were never discussed, but my parents honestly believed I was a saintly soul that never frequented dens of sin until I turned up wasted at age 19 after a GF had left me. But it was too late then.

I KNOW I'm going to be an helicopter parent though, I have a tendency to worry over stuff.

[Legbiter]

I'm not going to do this to my sons. The oldest one is 8 and always walks a short distance by himself to school. I had free run of the neighbourhood almost for as long as I can remember. When I spent summers with my grandparents in a small town in eastern Iceland, as a child, the whole place was my playground, just show up for supper on time.

[Gups]

My son has been making the journey to school (10 min walk, 20 min train, 15 min walk) by himself since he was 11 . Loads of other kids at his school are doing similar. People are more protective over 8 years olds, sure, but I don't think there's much difference between my generation and my parents by the time they get to 10 or 11.

[Warspite]

Question for current parents: whatever your thoughts on how much freedom your children have, do you feel pressure for other parents? Like a sense of disapproval when they learn you let your kids walk to school, play outside unsupervised, and so on?