Porn induced erectile dysfunction

[Ed Anger]

Some chicks like to be choked

[Eddie Teach]

According to the study, 40 per cent of boys between Grades 7 and 11 seek it out regularly

What they don't say about this survey is that 60 percent of boys between Grades 7 and 11 are lying little bastards.

I didn't seek out porn at that age.

[Ideologue]

Then you're talking about a relatively small subset of porn.  Porn featuring explicit lack of consent is an extremely, vanishly small niche, at least going by xhamster.  I've stumbled across actively violent porn maybe once or twice (thanks Japan).

Unless you're equating BDSM with violence, in which case it's a growing subset, but still not mainstream and is usually tagged separately and is also usually vividly different.  Half the time it's not even sex as is typically understood.

That said, aspects of DS--without the other stuff--have always been mainstream.  But then, DS is pretty inherent in sex anyway, albeit often at more or less subliminal levels.

But unless you haven't looked into it--and there's no reason for you to have, I guess--the vast, vast majority of porn is regular old sex jazzed up with a cinematic presentation.  Or at least the same kind of sex I've had with pretty much every partner I've ever had.  (Only one had an objection to facials, but did swallow.)

Query: would you prefer to avoid a frank conversation?  I probably should have asked this earlier.

[Ideologue]

Some chicks like to be choked

Yeah, I'd say like 50%.  I count that as normal DS.

I'd also like to point out here that I'm making no claims as to whether anything described is unhealthy, only widely practiced.

[Ideologue]

According to the study, 40 per cent of boys between Grades 7 and 11 seek it out regularly

What they don't say about this survey is that 60 percent of boys between Grades 7 and 11 are lying little bastards.

I didn't seek out porn at that age.

If I'd had regular access to porn at that age, it's possible I wouldn't be as fucked up as I am.  Certainly, if I'd had regular sex in high school, I'd be president by now.  And I'm only 32.  That's the difference it would have made.

[Sheilbh]

I'm all for consensual off-piste sexual entertainment; but there is that big problem/fear that lads might normalise misogyny if online porn is their main information at a tender age, that is the main worry I would argue.

Yeah for me the worry isn't the sexual acts but the way boys used to porn start to view and behave towards women (assuming they're not watching extreme stuff which would worry me).

A big part of parenting in the early years is explaining that pretty much everything they see on a screen isnt "real".

Something my mum solved by making me watch a 'Making of' video about Terminator 2 before watching the film. I was about 10 at the time

No, seriously, as long as we're sticking to mainstream porn, what isn't?  Anal.  Chick don't (usually) really dig anal.  (Then again some chicks do.)  And I've found that most people aren't too into group sex, or only want to do it when they're drunk, and I really dislike drunken sex.

I saw a show that interviewed teens about porn (it was BBC 3, I was waiting for Stacey Dooley ) and I didn't think it was normal that all the girls were saying how much the guys wanted to cum on their face. I think that's a result of porn. If the girls wants to do it fine, but I don't think (and the girls didn't) think it should be seen as normal vanilla sex.

Having said that maybe that's how heterosexuals have always courted?

[crazy canuck]

Then you're talking about a relatively small subset of porn.  Porn featuring explicit lack of consent is an extremely, vanishly small niche, at least going by xhamster.  I've stumbled across actively violent porn maybe once or twice (thanks Japan).

I didnt say "explicit" lack of consent or "actively" voilent but I think your need to qualify it as such is telling.  Lets look at it a different way.  You seem to know a lot about the subject so tell me when was the last time you saw porn that was explicitly consensual and actively not violent (ie loving and tender).

[Tonitrus]

I saw a show that interviewed teens about porn (it was BBC 3, I was waiting for Stacey Dooley ) and I didn't think it was normal that all the girls were saying how much the guys wanted to cum on their face. I think that's a result of porn. If the girls wants to do it fine, but I don't think (and the girls didn't) think it should be seen as normal vanilla sex.

Having said that maybe that's how heterosexuals have always courted?

I think it's just another DS thing.  Probably originating from a primitive/instinctive drive to "mark" territory. 

[MadImmortalMan]

when was the last time you saw porn that was explicitly consensual and actively not violent (ie loving and tender).

Isn't that almost all of it?

[Monoriu]

when was the last time you saw porn that was explicitly consensual and actively not violent (ie loving and tender).

Most porn these days are explicitly consensual and non-violent.  May or may not qualify for "tender", but explicit rape is rare.  Japan and its hentai do defy the trend a bit, but the majority of Japanese or hentai porn are still consensual. 

[Ideologue]

CC: I was qualifying "violence" only because I doubt we'd reach an agreement that BDSM isn't violent, and that's just a semantic question anyway.  And you misread the thing about consent.  What I said that there explicitly non-consensual sex in porn is rare, which a quick look at any random sampling of pornography would demonstrate--I doubt you'd find video explicitly featuring rape if you went through the first 1000 videos on any given site.  (Maybe a sexual assault: Japanese porn can be completely normal, but the islands are legendary for their weird stuff and not without reason.)

That said, almost all porn (99.9%+) is narratively as explicit as you can get without going into the ontology of one-dimensional fictional characters' motivations, and is often graphically explicit.  I'm rather certain every scene I've ever watched has been consensual in the legal sense, from a production standpoint; on rare occasions you can see the actors get sore about stuff, but not in a sort of way that would obviate consent.

"Tender and loving" and "nonconsensual and violent" presents a false dichotomy, of course, but to answer the question, I think I saw some tender loving porn about two days ago.  Just to pull two names out, Lelu Love and Camille Crimson both work or did work with their boyfriends.  In the case of Love, there's a lot of role-playing stuff that falls into the heavy DS camp, but there's a lot of normal nice sex too.  Crimson and her partner were pretty exclusively tender and loving.  Also, there's a fair amount of gauzily-lit, well-production designed, nice vanilla porn, presented as female-centric, and it's perfectly pleasant to watch.  You'll find stuff that self-consciously sleazy, but it is balanced with stuff that's kind-hearted, and of course the great bulk is anonymous, mechanical fucking.

I will concede that I've very rarely (almost never/maybe never) heard an "I love you" in porn, which is kind of a shame.  Tied with "Get me pregnant" and "I'm a little whore" for hottest words in the English language.

[Valmy]

anything depicting violence or lack of consent for starters.

Huh.  I have to say that is almost never seen on any mainstream porn site that I can think of...or rather one that I could imagine if I were to know anything about this sort of thing.

[Ideologue]

I saw a show that interviewed teens about porn (it was BBC 3, I was waiting for Stacey Dooley ) and I didn't think it was normal that all the girls were saying how much the guys wanted to cum on their face. I think that's a result of porn. If the girls wants to do it fine, but I don't think (and the girls didn't) think it should be seen as normal vanilla sex.

Having said that maybe that's how heterosexuals have always courted?

I think it's just another DS thing.  Probably originating from a primitive/instinctive drive to "mark" territory.

I don't think facials are DS stuff at all.  You've gotta do something with it, why not do something nice?

I'd say the person giving oral sex is the presumptively dominant partner: they're in control of the other person's sensations.  Obviously, you can switch that, but it takes an active effort to do so.

As for Shaun's supposition, I do think it's been popularized by pornography, but I also think it's either become vanilla sex, or always was; it's intimately linked with swallowing semen, which almost certainly is not an innovation of porn, but the natural outcome to a good blowjob (and representative of the natural desire to place semen within the body of a partner, that being where it goes in order to propagate the species).  Also gay guys like facials just fine.

[Ideologue]

anything depicting violence or lack of consent for starters.

Huh.  I have to say that is almost never seen on any mainstream porn site that I can think of...or rather one that I could imagine if I were to know anything about this sort of thing.

Honestly, I think CC is just trying to be cagey about what he thinks is normative sex.  I actually bet his opinions aren't too different from the consensus, since he seems like a normal joe (other than his unconscionable tallness), but rather that he's just squicked by the whole concept of porn (and masturbation generally).

Edit: I say this without malice or trying to put words in anybody's mouth.

[LaCroix]

(ie loving and tender).

should sex be loving and tender?