NJ teen loses first legal battle to make parents pay for education

[alfred russel]

OH MY GOD, no TV!

??? The point being motels in major cities without TVs are probably not the most attractive places to live. I'm happy without TV--I don't have one hooked up atm.

[garbon]

I wonder if they really think this is for her own good? 

I mean she sounds like pain in the ass with the emotional outbursts and not even hiding that she's drinking. Perhaps they thought not coddling her would be enough for her to shape up. Probably didn't expect she'd turn around and sue them. I wouldn't have even dreamed of doing that to my parents (but then I also was not rebellious in the least).

I know some parents that thought the same way.  After they kicked their daughter out she turned to prostitution to support herself - two years later was found dead in a park the likely victim of an overdose.

Oh so is that what is informing your reaction?

After all, in this case, I'm not sure they would have been better off just caving into whatever their daughter felt like doing.

I'll admit that my take is colored by my mother doing just that with one of my siblings.

[alfred russel]

I know some parents that thought the same way.  After they kicked their daughter out she turned to prostitution to support herself - two years later was found dead in a park the likely victim of an overdose.

Sounds like she was willing to do anything to keep her rebellious streak going. The parents took the hardest line they could, but there probably wasn't anything they could have done.

[crazy canuck]

Oh so is that what is informing your reaction?

That and I could never imagine a circumstance in which I would ever do that to my sons no matter how poorly they acted.  My first impulse would to keep them close and help them as much as possible.  But perhaps that is why I dont have problem kids in the first place.

[garbon]

Oh so is that what is informing your reaction?

That and I could never imagine a circumstance in which I would ever do that to my sons no matter how poorly they acted.  My first impulse would to keep them close and help them as much as possible.  But perhaps that is why I dont have problem kids in the first place.

Or spoken like a person without girls. That said I would imagine I'd have to be in a very extreme situation to kick out my son/daughter. Though I'd be a bit more aggressive, I'd probably be more like my aunt who has her 30-something son still living with her.

[Barrister]

Oh so is that what is informing your reaction?

That and I could never imagine a circumstance in which I would ever do that to my sons no matter how poorly they acted.  My first impulse would to keep them close and help them as much as possible.  But perhaps that is why I dont have problem kids in the first place.

CC, I'm very happy for you your boys are turning out so well.

I've worked with youthful offenders just enough however to know that while good parenting is a huge predictor of whether someone gets into trouble, it is not the only factor.  Some good parents sometimes have some really problematic kids.  And in some cases, just "keep[ing] them close" is just enabling their bad behaviour / drug and alcohol use.

[crazy canuck]

You worked with troubled youth BB.  I grew up with them.  I think I know a thing or two about it that perhaps you might miss from the outside.  Those wonderful parents that show up to social services arent necessarily so wonderful once they get home. 

[crazy canuck]

Oh so is that what is informing your reaction?

That and I could never imagine a circumstance in which I would ever do that to my sons no matter how poorly they acted.  My first impulse would to keep them close and help them as much as possible.  But perhaps that is why I dont have problem kids in the first place.

Or spoken like a person without girls. That said I would imagine I'd have to be in a very extreme situation to kick out my son/daughter. Though I'd be a bit more aggressive, I'd probably be more like my aunt who has her 30-something son still living with her.

I am not sure why I love a daughter less

[Barrister]

You worked with troubled youth BB.  I grew up with them.  I think I know a thing or two about it that perhaps you might miss from the outside.  Those wonderful parents that show up to social services arent necessarily so wonderful once they get home. 

I'll stand by my statement - you can not simply say "bad kids = bad parents".

[garbon]

Oh so is that what is informing your reaction?

That and I could never imagine a circumstance in which I would ever do that to my sons no matter how poorly they acted.  My first impulse would to keep them close and help them as much as possible.  But perhaps that is why I dont have problem kids in the first place.

Or spoken like a person without girls. That said I would imagine I'd have to be in a very extreme situation to kick out my son/daughter. Though I'd be a bit more aggressive, I'd probably be more like my aunt who has her 30-something son still living with her.

I am not sure why I love a daughter less

Yep confirmed then. My comment wasn't that you'd like a daughter less but more on the level of drama that a daughter (particularly a teenaged one) brings to the table.

[Jacob]

It seems like the parents are confident in their own righteousness and very uncompromising; and it seems that they've brought up a daughter who has the very same qualities.

[Jacob]

Yep confirmed then. My comment wasn't that you'd like a daughter less but more on the level of drama that a daughter (particularly a teenaged one) brings to the table.

I have two younger sisters; neither of them brought more drama to the table than my brother or I did when we were their age.

[garbon]

Should have added "can"

[crazy canuck]

Should have added "can"

Any member of a family can add more drama than others.

[crazy canuck]

I'll stand by my statement - you can not simply say "bad kids = bad parents".

Stand all you want.  Parent who abandons their kids always = bad parent