Do you want your wife to use your name?

[celedhring]

In Spain a wife doesn't take her husband's family name, sons in turn get both surnames although we mostly only use the father's. Only the patronymic (father family name) is passed down, though.

Nowadays the mother's surname can go first if both parents agree. Since my surname is ultra common I personally wouldn't mind it in my case.

And the son can switch the order once he's over 18, so nobody's stopping you (I'd say both your surnames are bang average though  )

[Neil]

There was no question of my wife not taking my name.

[dps]

There is far too much bullshit that goes with having the surname McDonald.  S wants to go for it because she hates her own surname (people "correct" the spelling all the time and get it wrong), but I don't think she understands the complex I've got after almost 30 years of everybody responding to finding out my last name with a joke.  "Do you believe in magic?"  "Have you had your break today?"  "No relation to Ronald?"  "Ba-da-ba-ba-ba?"  I've heard them all multiple times.

No, "Do you have a farm?  EIEIO"?   

[Iormlund]

In Spain a wife doesn't take her husband's family name, sons in turn get both surnames although we mostly only use the father's. Only the patronymic (father family name) is passed down, though.

Nowadays the mother's surname can go first if both parents agree. Since my surname is ultra common I personally wouldn't mind it in my case.

My surname is extremely rare. So rare that I think my extended family is the only one using it. Don't know what the tradition is in Turkey but my Turkish sis-in-law adopted our name when she married my brother.

[DontSayBanana]

No, "Do you have a farm?  EIEIO"?   

From kindergarten until about 6th grade, nonstop.

[dps]

Think that one would bother me more than the Ronald McDonald stuff.  Unless I actually had a farm.  Though that might even make it worse.

[lustindarkness]

I did not allow her to change her name.  She has a not so common last name,  I have a very common one. She also has the most common first name in the world.

[DontSayBanana]

I did not allow her to change her name.  She has a not so common last name,  I have a very common one. She also has the most common first name in the world.

That's the tack I've been trying to take with S, but she's having none of it.  She's literally the only person with her combination of given and surname in the US, and she wants to freelance, which makes that one hell of a marketing asset to let go of because of issues with people misspelling her name.

[celedhring]

Nobody suffered more than my classmate at highschool Carles Viana. What were their parents thinking?

[Iormlund]

 

[Barrister]

My last name is deeply mangled Ukrainian, to the point it's virtually unique to my extended family.  Hell at one point I owned [mylastname].com (I let it expire, but I really should see if it's still available).

It certainly wasn't a deal breaker, but I preferred that our family all have the last name - it's part of being a family after all.  And since no one would think twice about my wife taking my last name, and everyone would scratch their heads (in particular in conservative rural Alberta) if I took her name, I thought the choice was obvious.

Anyways, for several years my wife continued to use her maiden name professionally when she worked at the jail, but since moving back to Alberta she's gone with just my last name.

[alfred russel]

Kids getting the last name of me or the mother...I could handle either one. But if my wife wanted to give the kids the last name of some other dude, we would have to talk.

[Eddie Teach]

No, "Do you have a farm?  EIEIO"?   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zebvFBNZ3Mg

[OttoVonBismarck]

My wife took my last name, we never really talked about it actually. She just idly mentioned one day a few days prior to the wedding that she'd need to do some research on what steps she'd have to take to get her named changed on all her stuff.

I wouldn't have cared at all if she hadn't taken my name, something that is a total non issue to me.

[merithyn]

I'm amused that these days anyone cares enough to stress over it. Who cares? If you want to take her name, take it. If she wants to take yours, then she takes it. If neither of you care for your names, come up with something different.

My kids have grown up in a family with multiple last names being used: their father's, my maiden, Max's original last name, our newly-minted married name. None of us worry too much about it. It's never been a problem because none of us make it a problem. The kids' friends call me Mrs. Ex-husband all the time, and I just smile and say hello. A huge chunk of my friends still refer to me by my maiden name, and a bunch more refer to me by my new last name. Hell, my own mother called me by Max's original last name for years after we were married, even though it was never my name.

Despite what's been said it, it really isn't a big deal for kids to have a different last name from their parents anymore. Divorce and re-marriage is too common for anyone to even blink at it. As for "part of being a family" is all having the same name... sorry, but that's just ridiculous to me. A name isn't even in the top 10 for me on what "being a family" is all about. Or are you saying that when a daughter takes her husband's name she's abdicating from the family? Or if a son does so?

There are those who are so entrenched in tradition that it's a matter of masculine pride that "his woman" takes his name. If she's okay with that, then good for them. If not, why does it matter, ultimately? There's nothing wrong with tradition, but when it becomes more important than who the person is you're taking as your spouse... that's kind of messed up.