A matter of paintings

[Pedrito]

Premise: there's this local "graffiti artist" who last year organized a kind of treasure hunt with his works: he made some paintings and left them around town for the people to find and bring home; the operation was a success, he gained some notoriety and continued his graffiti work around town. This december he's starting a new treasure hunt, of which I knew nothing before today.

Events: this morning I was taking the boys to school (a 10 minute stroll), when I met a good friend of mine (known from high school, she was my wife's bridesmaid, etc etc) who told me I've just passed in front of a new work by this artist(I haven't even seen it...), and she was going to take it and bring it home.

I thought "lucky girl", and went on with the kids. TIme ten minutes, I've left the kids at school, when I saw my friend again, and she told me she wasn't able to get the painting because the frame was glued to the wall. I thought "unlucky girl, lucky someone else who will get it".

Going home to get the car for the day, I passed in front of the painting, who was still there: with the help of a small knife I always keep in my pocket, I scraped away the glue and took the painting home.

TIme another ten minutes, and while taking the baby to the pre-school, my wife meets this friend, tells her I got the painting, and then I get a phone call from the friend where I am called a turd, and a thief because I stole her painting, etc. etc.

Actual question: Aside from the offense taken from someone who called me a thief because I got a publicly donated work, what should I do?
My friend is very touchy, and she will remind me about this episode every time we'll meet, for sure; on the other hand, I don't want to ruin a friendship, and was considering giving the painting to her, before the phone call. Now, I'm not so sure.
PRobably the actual value of the painting is about 2-300 euros, at most 350 US dollahs.

L.

[Eddie Teach]

Give it to Jaron, he needs it most.

[katmai]

Tell your "friend" to fuck off, and carry a knife from now on.*






* Of course i am single and have no friends so take this advice with grain of salt.

[Tamas]

I would tell her that my intention was to give her the painting, but after the insults she threw at me it is a matter of principle and dignity to keep it.

[Syt]

I would tell her that my intention was to give her the painting, but after the insults she threw at me it is a matter of principle and dignity to keep it.

Same thing here.

Also, I would probably have given her the painting from the get go since she seemed to have her heart set on it, and since you've already gotten one last year.

[katmai]

I would tell her that my intention was to give her the painting, but after the insults she threw at me it is a matter of principle and dignity to keep it.

Same thing here.

Also, I would probably have given her the painting from the get go since she seemed to have her heart set on it, and since you've already gotten one last year.

??

[Syt]

I would tell her that my intention was to give her the painting, but after the insults she threw at me it is a matter of principle and dignity to keep it.

Same thing here.

Also, I would probably have given her the painting from the get go since she seemed to have her heart set on it, and since you've already gotten one last year.

??

Sorry, I misread, it seems.

[Brazen]

You did nothing wrong, the mistake was your wife's for telling her! Keep the painting and enjoy it, but if you don't actually like it and decide to sell it, maybe buy the friend a small present from the proceeds.

[crazy canuck]

she told me she wasn't able to get the painting because the frame was glued to the wall.

Keep the painting and remind her of this fact.  If it was her intention to go back and retrieve the painting she should have told you. 

Her reaction should have been one of being happy that you were able to retrieve the painting rather than some random stranger.  Her reaction is a rather significant revelation of character. 

[Barrister]

If you were going to give her the painting beforehand, then that is what you should still do.  Don't respond in kind to her bad manners.

[Darth Wagtaros]

Tell her you threw it in the trash.

[lustindarkness]

Tell your "friend" to fuck off, and carry a knife from now on.*






* Of course i am single and have no friends so take this advice with grain of salt.

I would tell her that my intention was to give her the painting, but after the insults she threw at me it is a matter of principle and dignity to keep it.

[Tonitrus]

 :nelson:Give her the painting while reminding her that she should treat her friends with more consideration and less cynicism (don't be a condescending ass about it, though).

If she doesn't give a heartfelt apology in return, you're better off with this one less friend.



Edit:  Better would be a way to do so that won't make her think she's won a guilt-trip victory, but I cannot think of the best way to do that at the moment. 

[mongers]

If you were going to give her the painting beforehand, then that is what you should still do.  Don't respond in kind to her bad manners.

Which is why people with bad manners keep them so long, people don't challenge their behaviour and they get what they want.

[grumbler]

I think that you should give her the painting.  She clearly thinks you found the painting because she mentioned it to you (which seems to be true) and you knew that she was trying to get it (and maybe went home, got a scraper of some kind, and then went back to find it gone).  Sure, she was a jerk to go all emo on you, but remember that she was probably feeling disappointed and betrayed (a perfectly understandable human reaction, if not a particularly charitable or nice one) and I think her reaction forgivable.

If keeping an old and close friend (and a close friend of your wife's) isn't worth as much as getting some revenge or keeping some painting to you, then I think your reaction is less forgivable than hers.  Friends (even imperfect ones) are worth more than random paintings.