British navy new superweapon against pirates: Britney Spears

[viper37]

"As soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney, they move on as quickly as they can"

In an excellent case of "here's a sentence you won't read every day", Britney Spears has emerged as an unlikely figurehead in the fight against Somali pirates.
According to reports, Britney's hits, including Oops! I Did It Again and Baby One More Time, are being employed by British naval officers in an attempt to scare off pirates along the east coast of Africa. Perhaps nothing else – not guns, not harpoons – is quite as intimidating as the sound of Ms Spears singing "Ooh baby baby!"
Merchant naval officer Rachel Owens explained the tactics to Metro: "Her songs were chosen by the security team because they thought the pirates would hate them most. These guys can't stand western culture or music, making Britney's hits perfect. As soon as the pirates get a blast of Britney, they move on as quickly as they can."
Britney is currently preparing to release her eighth album, Britney Jean, in December. It follows the single Work Bitch, although producer Will.i.am claimed the sound of this track is not indicative of the rest of the record. No doubt the record's eclectic sound has been designed to keep any potential pirates on their toes.
Britney Jean will be Spears' first album since 2011's Femme Fatale. When it's released, perhaps the British military can stockpile copies down a bunker in Norfolk in preparation for the third world war.

No comments from Ms Spears, yet. 

[The Brain]

"Military"? Uh-oh, we're in for it now.

[Malthus]

And yet, there are still no plans to weaponize Celine Dion? 

[Maximus]

And yet, there are still no plans to weaponize Celine Dion? 

We already deployed that weapon.

[Zanza]

And yet, there are still no plans to weaponize Celine Dion? 

Banned by the Hague convention.

[Razgovory]

Shouldn't they be trying to capture or destroy their vessels rather then just scare them off?

[viper37]

And yet, there are still no plans to weaponize Celine Dion? 

I think they used her in Guantanamo.

[viper37]

Shouldn't they be trying to capture or destroy their vessels rather then just scare them off?

Maybe copyrights are less than the cost of ammo?

[Syt]

And yet, there are still no plans to weaponize Celine Dion? 

I think they used her in Guantanamo.

Sometimes even her singing!

[crazy canuck]

And yet, there are still no plans to weaponize Celine Dion? 

First thing I thought when I read the thread title.

[Razgovory]

Shouldn't they be trying to capture or destroy their vessels rather then just scare them off?

Maybe copyrights are less than the cost of ammo?

Maybe the Somalis outgun them.

[The Brain]

Shouldn't they be trying to capture or destroy their vessels rather then just scare them off?

States like it if the merchant navy doesn't engage in combat.

[Siege]

I would use Billie Piper instead.

[The Brain]

And how.

[Razgovory]

Shouldn't they be trying to capture or destroy their vessels rather then just scare them off?

States like it if the merchant navy doesn't engage in combat.

Oh, I thought when Viper said navy he meant actual navy not Merchant Marine.