Champaign, IL - Land of the truly whacked attacks

[merithyn]

Received this email from Campus Police from the UIUC:

INCIDENT:   Aggravated Batteries

OCCURRED:   August 20, 2013 at 8:25 PM and at 10:00 PM

LOCATION:   400 Block of E. John St. / 300 Block of S. First St., Champaign

BRIEF DETAILS:

The Champaign Police Department is currently investigating two cases of aggravated battery that occurred in the University of Illinois campus area, on August 20, 2013.

The first incident occurred at 8:25 PM, in the 400 block of E. John Street. A 20-year-old female reported walking in the crosswalk, on the east side of Fourth Street, and crossing John Street when she was struck by a blow dart in the left forearm. She received treatment for her injury at a local hospital.

The second incident occurred at 10:00 PM, in the 300 Block of S. First Street. A 35-yearold male reported to police that he was struck by a blow dart in the left forearm. He reported walking eastbound on the north side of Springfield Avenue and crossing First Street when he was injured. The victim reported immediately pulling the dart out of his arm and seeking medical treatment at a local Hospital.

We are the same town where last summer some guys were walking around the main business strip on campus, randomly walking up to guys and punching them in the face. That's it. They'd walk up, punch a guy in the face, and then walk off.

And who can forget The Enema Bandit?

I really need to get the hell out of here.....

[merithyn]

The dart from the first attack:



And the arm wound on the girl:

[CountDeMoney]

And who can forget The Enema Bandit?

Lulz, hawt.

[Syt]

And who can forget The Enema Bandit?

Lulz, hawt.

There's a movie about him. Cinema Snob did a good review of that one.

[lustindarkness]

Both on the left forearm. 

BTW, she needs a manicure.

[merithyn]

Yeah, the guess is that that was random luck. And really lucky, too, because one of those things to the face or neck could kill someone.

[lustindarkness]

Good there are no poison arrow frogs in Champaign.

[merithyn]

We are a research campus. There are no guarantees that there aren't.

[lustindarkness]

 

[Syt]

Good there are no poison arrow frogs in Champaign.

They have some in Vienna Zoo. They're sponsored by Pfizer. 

[KRonn]

So who do they have there shooting darts, Amazonian hunters with blow guns?? Those hunters are pretty good with those things! 

[Valmy]

I really need to get the hell out of here.....

I don't know.  I would rather be in a city with blowguns and walk by punchings than most of the alternatives.

[merithyn]

I really need to get the hell out of here.....

I don't know.  I would rather be in a city with blowguns and walk by punchings than most of the alternatives.

Third Shooting in less than 24 hours

[The Brain]

Champaign? Sparkling Whine.

[garbon]

Champaign? Sparkling Whine.

Nah, bro.