My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)

[Scipio]

So, I'm working on cleaning up my cell phone (going all wonky- time for some electronic hygiene) and my wife is making red sauce.

How, you ask?

By putting my brand new All-Clad 3qt saute on high, putting a teaspoon of olive oil, and smoking out the house.

Then, she gets all pissy because I call her on it.

Then, and I shit you not, with the pan smoking like the groves of Sicily on fire after the Sicilian vespers, SHE DUMPS IN THREE CUPS OF RAW ONIONS AND TOMATOES.

I ask you, is this the cooking of a patriot?

Of a human?

Of anyone with training or sense?

No.  It is the cooking of a savage.

[PDH]

Remember...even though it doesn't seem like it right at this moment, you love her more than food.

[Ed Anger]

[Admiral Yi]

Ball gag and nipple clamps.

[CountDeMoney]

Ball gag and nipple clamps.

Instead of raw onions and tomatoes?  I can dig it.

[Scipio]

Remember...even though it doesn't seem like it right at this moment, you love her more than food.

But do I love her more than my saute pan?

[Baron von Schtinkenbutt]

But do I love her more than my saute pan?

Nothing Scotch-Brite can't fix.

[Viking]

Some wisdom I have learned. You can either tell a person to do something or tell a person how to do something, never both. You solution is either

A: Honey this tastes great.
B: Honey I'll cook tomorrow.

[lustindarkness]

To truly cook like a savage she needed to be wearing an apron, nothing else. Was she?

[Scipio]

To truly cook like a savage she needed to be wearing an apron, nothing else. Was she?

No comment.

[lustindarkness]

Savages!

[Ideologue]

When of course the proper way is to buy premade sauce, and put it on a stove till it is reasonably hot.  IT'S CALLED DIVISION OF LABOR.

[Caliga]

Yo Ed is that the bitch from Buck Rogers?