One for CdM, includes China, critical US infrastructure and cats

[The Larch]

I don't know if this is for real or some kind of Onionesque or sensationalistic site, but here it goes. 

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/01/16/developer_oursources_job_china/

Security audit finds dev OUTSOURCED his JOB to China to goof off at work

A security audit of a US critical infrastructure company last year revealed that its star developer had outsourced his own job to a Chinese subcontractor and was spending all his work time playing around on the internet.

The firm's telecommunications supplier Verizon was called in after the company set up a basic VPN system with two-factor authentication so staff could work at home. The VPN traffic logs showed a regular series of logins to the company's main server from Shenyang, China, using the credentials of the firm's top programmer, "Bob".

"The company's IT personnel were sure that the issue had to do with some kind of zero day malware that was able to initiate VPN connections from Bob's desktop workstation via external proxy and then route that VPN traffic to China, only to be routed back to their concentrator," said Verizon. "Yes, it is a bit of a convoluted theory, and like most convoluted theories, an incorrect one."

After getting permission to study Bob's computer habits, Verizon investigators found that he had hired a software consultancy in Shenyang to do his programming work for him, and had FedExed them his two-factor authentication token so they could log into his account. He was paying them a fifth of his six-figure salary to do the work and spent the rest of his time on other activities.

The analysis of his workstation found hundreds of PDF invoices from the Chinese contractors and determined that Bob's typical work day consisted of:

9:00 a.m. – Arrive and surf Reddit for a couple of hours. Watch cat videos

11:30 a.m. – Take lunch

1:00 p.m. – Ebay time

2:00-ish p.m – Facebook updates, LinkedIn

4:30 p.m. – End-of-day update e-mail to management

5:00 p.m. – Go home

The scheme worked very well for Bob. In his performance assessments by the firm's human resources department, he was the firm's top coder for many quarters and was considered expert in C, C++, Perl, Java, Ruby, PHP, and Python.

Further investigation found that the enterprising Bob had actually taken jobs with other firms and had outsourced that work too, netting him hundreds of thousands of dollars in profit as well as lots of time to hang around on internet messaging boards and checking out the latest Detective Mittens video.

Bob is no longer employed by the firm

And here's the Detective Mittens video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVx2uCcDXX0

[CountDeMoney]

If only I was being paid to watch Detective Mittens videos, too.

Oh wait, I am.

[Ed Anger]

Reddit sucks.

[CountDeMoney]

Then you'll be glad to know the inventor hanged himself over the weekend.

[Ed Anger]

Then you'll be glad to know the inventor hanged himself over the weekend.

I tend not to revel in the suicides of depressives.

[CountDeMoney]

But they make it so easy.

[Ed Anger]

Especially "information should be free" pirate fucks like him.

[Brazen]

El Reg covers  serious technology news with a satirical angle. It can get a bit irritating, like it insists on always capping up "Iphone", which was mildly amusing for a while, then just distracting.

[DGuller]

Detective Mittens is one dirty cop.

[Grey Fox]

That's...that's brilliant!

[Brazen]

The BBC actually has a link to Detective Mittens from its coverage of this story 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21043693

[Valmy]

Remember when the Clinton administration assured us we would easily be able to compete with cheaper Chinese and Indian labor because we were all going to be super educated compared to them?  LOL.

[Ed Anger]

Remember when the Clinton administration assured us we would easily be able to compete with cheaper Chinese and Indian labor because we were all going to be super educated compared to them?  LOL.

It's coming back. Sorta.

[mongers]

El Reg covers  serious technology news with a satirical angle. It can get a bit irritating, like it insists on always capping up "Iphone", which was mildly amusing for a while, then just distracting.

So you're bitter than you didn't get the job there ? 


Haven't notice the eyePhone thing, though I do recall them using TardPhone amongst others, besides products and brands values should always be ridiculed.