Philosophy on life - do things really happen for a reason?

[merithyn]

Like most people, I've dealt with a lot of disappointments, pain, and difficulties. During each of these times, my mother's response has always been, "Well, these things happen for a reason." Her other stock response is: "It just wasn't meant to be."

Now, you all know that I'm a fairly spiritual person, but I don't buy into the above philosophies. I don't think that things happen for a reason - at least not some global, over-reaching reason that I just can't fathom right then that will late make my life better. I also don't buy into the whole "it wasn't meant to be."

I believe that things either happen or don't, positive or negative, because of a series of events seen and unseen that have no bearing on some Master Plan for life. What ends up happening after that, again good or bad, is a matter of decisions made, not some reward for getting through the bad, or punishment for the good.

What do you believe?

[Valmy]

Things do not really happen for reason.  Heck nothing happens for a reason, life is empty and meaningless objectively.

But wherever you are in your life you got there because of all the things that happened before so I act as if everything happens for a reason and believe it on a practical level.  When I look back over my life it is amazing all the things that had to happen to get to where I am today.

[ulmont]

What do you believe?

• Everything happens for a reason.
• Sometimes the reason is "Shit happens."

[Brazen]

Nothing happens for a reason, humans just like to see patterns in things. Which is why horoscopes are still such big business in the 21st century.

The lottery numbers this week are equally likely to be 1,2,3,4,5,6 as any other combination of 6, but would you select them?

[HVC]

Things happen because of the choices we make, usually, or just "bad luck". Predestination is just a Protestant lie

[Valmy]

Nothing happens for a reason, humans just like to see patterns in things.

Humans cannot help but see patterns in things.  I think it is important to embrace this and use it to your advantage as much as you can.

[Malthus]

I keep telling myself that nothing happens for a reason ... so I can eat as many chips as I like and not exercise because, you know.   

But seriously ... no, there is no overarching "reasons" for things.

[Valmy]

I keep telling myself that nothing happens for a reason ... so I can eat as many chips as I like and not exercise because, you know.   

But seriously ... no, there is no overarching "reasons" for things.

Well yeah laws of cause and effect are still around

But it was not like your dog was destined to be run over by the truck so you could end up meeting your future spouse at the pound adopting your next pet.

[Malthus]

Well yeah laws of cause and effect are still around

CURSES!  Now my day is ruined.

[merithyn]

Well yeah laws of cause and effect are still around

But it was not like your dog was destined to be run over by the truck so you could end up meeting your future spouse at the pound adopting your next pet.

An example: I lost my son in November 1997. My mother's response was, "Everything happens for a reason." When I was 20 weeks pregnant with Riley, I had an ultrasound to make sure that the same problem wasn't happening. It was. Were it not for losing Ian, I wouldn't have had the ultrasound and Riley wouldn't have survived. My mom said, "See? I told you. Everything happens for a reason."

Had Ian survived, I wouldn't have had Riley. I was stopping at four kids. One does not lead to the other. Yes, I adore my daughter, but I would have adored my son, too. It seems bizarre to think that a child dying "happens for a reason", and yet Mom wasn't the only one who said that.

How does anyone think that idea helps? I just don't get it.

[Valmy]

Had Ian survived, I wouldn't have had Riley. I was stopping at four kids. One does not lead to the other.

Well if Ian surviving would have meant no Riley than it is just a fact that Riley would never have existed if things had gone differently.  I am not sure why one would not lead to the other in this case.

How does anyone think that idea helps? I just don't get it.

It is empowering and helps you appreciate how things turned out.  If every time shit happens you go all morbid and depressed that is not helping anything.  Far better to go forward with the mentality this might lead to something.

[CountDeMoney]

The only thing that happens for a reason is Life Tries To Fuck You Every Chance It Gets.

[merithyn]

Had Ian survived, I wouldn't have had Riley. I was stopping at four kids. One does not lead to the other.

Well if Ian surviving would have meant no Riley than it is just a fact that Riley would never have existed if things had gone differently.  I am not sure why one would not lead to the other in this case.

I mean that the fact that Ian's death led to Riley's survival does not lead to the assumption that "it happened for a reason".

How does anyone think that idea helps? I just don't get it.

It is empowering and helps you appreciate how things turned out.  If every time shit happens you go all morbid and depressed that is not helping anything.  Far better to go forward with the mentality this might lead to something.

I understand that it's meant to be so, but in fact, it never feels like that. It seems to me that believing that life just happens the way that it happens - no recriminations, punishments, or other malevalant cause - would be far more comforting.

[Viking]

Like most people, I've dealt with a lot of disappointments, pain, and difficulties. During each of these times, my mother's response has always been, "Well, these things happen for a reason." Her other stock response is: "It just wasn't meant to be."

Now, you all know that I'm a fairly spiritual person, but I don't buy into the above philosophies. I don't think that things happen for a reason - at least not some global, over-reaching reason that I just can't fathom right then that will late make my life better. I also don't buy into the whole "it wasn't meant to be."

I believe that things either happen or don't, positive or negative, because of a series of events seen and unseen that have no bearing on some Master Plan for life. What ends up happening after that, again good or bad, is a matter of decisions made, not some reward for getting through the bad, or punishment for the good.

What do you believe?

You are getting into magical thinking here. Things happen for real material reasons. There is not someone out there meant for you, things are not either meant to be or not meant to be they either are or the are no.

The only meaning in life is the meaning you make yourself and the only master plan is the one you make and implement yourself. Telling yourself that something isn't meant to be is a cop out and an excuse for not trying (or a way of avoiding dealing with your own inability to make that something happen).

[Martinus]

"Things happen for a reason" is probably one of the laziest and dumbest things that lazy and dumb "spiritual" people come up with.