Feminism

[Sheilbh]

I love the idea that Bill Gates can get laid because of his immense personal charisma and raw pheremones that just don't translate across camera.  Probably not though

[Legbiter]

I love the idea that Bill Gates can get laid because of his immense personal charisma and raw pheremones that just don't translate across camera.  Probably not though

You never know though. Maybe he runs a tight ship with his wife after the lawyers laid down the exact Do's & Dont's of the marriage.

[merithyn]

Given the staggeringly high divorce rates for women with "modest" prior notches, a wise choice.

You realize that the study posted never explained why there was an increase in divorces for those women, right? We don't know if the women walked out on the men, the men on the women, if it was just decided it wasn't going to work, etc.

I find it amusing that you immediately jump on the "women who sleep around obviously cheat and get dumped by their husbands" wagon. I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

But then, with your view of things, I doubt you care.

[garbon]

Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

[Jacob]

Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

Optimism?

[Malthus]

I never understood why divoce rate = bad, failure.

Some people change. Some people no longer get along. In the past, people stuck together nonetheless because divorce was difficult to get and social disapproval high. Why was that "good"?

It is obvious that someone with limited experience of prior relationships is more likely to stick around even if the relationship has gone to shit: that's all they know. Without a basis of comparison, leaving and starting again would be frightening, so they stick where another with more experience would go.

OTOH, some people just aren't into long-term: they are "in love with falling in love", they like that initial rush at the start of a relationship, and having lots of relationships may be a sign of that - male or female.

[garbon]

Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

Optimism?

I could understand them having more cohabiting relationships and then you would think they would figure it out flaws before marrying.

[garbon]

I never understood why divoce rate = bad, failure.

Some people change. Some people no longer get along. In the past, people stuck together nonetheless because divorce was difficult to get and social disapproval high. Why was that "good"?

It is obvious that someone with limited experience of prior relationships is more likely to stick around even if the relationship has gone to shit: that's all they know. Without a basis of comparison, leaving and starting again would be frightening, so they stick where another with more experience would go.

OTOH, some people just aren't into long-term: they are "in love with falling in love", they like that initial rush at the start of a relationship, and having lots of relationships may be a sign of that - male or female.

Because marriage is supposed to be the ultimate long-term thing?

[Malthus]

I never understood why divoce rate = bad, failure.

Some people change. Some people no longer get along. In the past, people stuck together nonetheless because divorce was difficult to get and social disapproval high. Why was that "good"?

It is obvious that someone with limited experience of prior relationships is more likely to stick around even if the relationship has gone to shit: that's all they know. Without a basis of comparison, leaving and starting again would be frightening, so they stick where another with more experience would go.

OTOH, some people just aren't into long-term: they are "in love with falling in love", they like that initial rush at the start of a relationship, and having lots of relationships may be a sign of that - male or female.

Because marriage is supposed to be the ultimate long-term thing?

Long-term isn't the same as permanent. People should go into marriage thinking that yes, this is a long-term thing ... but if it doesn't work out, pecause people have changed in different ways, or have fallen out of love, or whatever, I see no value in permanence just for the sake of it. Particularly if it makes people miserable.

I say this, and I've been with the same woman for 25 years - but I've been lucky.

[merithyn]

Only issue I see Meri is if they know better, why are they getting married?

People change? Sitatuations change? He cheated on her? She cheated on him? Kids came into the picture and that changed everything? Kids didn't come into the picture and that changed everything?

There are a ton of reasons for a couple to decide not to be married anymore. The idea that it's because a woman had more than 2 or 3 partners before the wedding doesn't chage those facts. What it may change, however, is how long she's willing to put up with a certain set of circumstances once they occur.

[derspiess]

I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

Disagree.  I don't see how women "without experience" are going to be more likely to put up with bullshit.  I know my ex-sister-in-law had an awfully low tolerance for that.

[garbon]

Long-term isn't the same as permanent. People should go into marriage thinking that yes, this is a long-term thing ... but if it doesn't work out, pecause people have changed in different ways, or have fallen out of love, or whatever, I see no value in permanence just for the sake of it. Particularly if it makes people miserable.

I say this, and I've been with the same woman for 25 years - but I've been lucky.

I'm not saying that people should stick around if their marriage makes them miserable. But then again, I'm not a big fan of marriage / don't really understand the idea of making vows to a lifelong commitment that isn't lifelong.

[garbon]

I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

Disagree.  I don't see how women "without experience" are going to be more likely to put up with bullshit.  I know my ex-sister-in-law had an awfully low tolerance for that.

Because they don't know how it could be better?

[derspiess]

I would argue that it's just as likely - if not more so - that women with experience aren't going to put up with bullshit and will kick an asshole out the door quicker than one who doesn't know any better.

Disagree.  I don't see how women "without experience" are going to be more likely to put up with bullshit.  I know my ex-sister-in-law had an awfully low tolerance for that.

Because they don't know how it could be better?

Nah, don't see it.

[merithyn]

I'm not saying that people should stick around if their marriage makes them miserable. But then again, I'm not a big fan of marriage / don't really understand the idea of making vows to a lifelong commitment that isn't lifelong.

Max and I had issues with that, as well. Instead of making a lifelong commitment, our vows said something like, "for as long as I am able." Basically, we recognize that changes happen and things can be different 5, 10, 15, even 20 years down the line. We weren't going to make a vow for something that we just didn't know could or would happen.