How do you insult Nook salespipple at Barnes & Nobles?

[CountDeMoney]

It really irks me they've set up those Nazi Nook kiosks at the entrance, ready to jump on Luddites to convert the unwitting to their little electronic books, like hymnals for their new church of the artificial.

I need fresh insults and rejections.  I've already told them I prefer the old Soviet method of paper and ink, but I can use that gag only so often.  Gimme ammo. "Fuck off" is unacceptable.

[MadBurgerMaker]

Buy one.  They're badass.

[CountDeMoney]

Fuck you, you fucking fuck.

[MadBurgerMaker]

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/nookcolor/index.asp  <--click this, then click the green "BUY NOW" button

[jimmy olsen]

Tell them you already have a kindle.

[merithyn]

I think you're all failing to see the reason for his wrath. He finds all electronic "books" offensive by their very nature. Ergo, saying something like, "I already have a Kindle, thanks!" doesn't convey the emotion he's feeling.

Rather, he should say something like, "I prefer the draconian method of communication that requires the touch, feel, and smell of animal skin doused in walnut juice. Come back to me when that thing has it." Or "Vellum, mother fucker! Can you say it?"

[BuddhaRhubarb]

just ignore them and go buy the paper book you want.

[HVC]

Tell them you've got splinters in your dick from fucking trees this morning for the express purpose of making new baby trees which can be ground up into future books... might not get your point across, but they'll sure as hell ignore you next time. That or they'll call the cops.

[DontSayBanana]

Or "Vellum, mother fucker! Can you say it?"

Ooh, even if he doesn't, I'm gonna be using this one.  On my almost-father-in-law.  If Nooks were Catholicism, he'd be the freaking Counter-Reformation.

[garbon]

Perhaps you shouldn't buy books at B&N.

[Razgovory]

This happened to me last year.  Guy at the entrance trapped me and was talking to me about this damn thing for about five minutes while I wracked my brain for a way to politely extradite myself from him.  I never could think of anything intelligent to say so I just began making nasally choking sounds till he stopped talking.  He stood there for a moment and looked at me. 

"Are you alright sir?".

"Yep", I smiled and walked off.

He didn't even bother me on the way out.  Come to think of it, he hasn't bothered me since then.

[Caliga]

"Have fun working yourself out of a job, sucker."

[Grey Fox]

You go to the religious section, take out a bible & demonstrate to the sale people that only a printed book can deliver discipline in a meaningfull way.

[Ed Anger]

I'm here to trawl for ass, thanks!

Any good MILF's in the kiddie section today?

[Brazen]

"My palimpsest and the local monastery fulfils that purpose for me"