Student kills burglar with samurai sword

[Alatriste]

Its the sensible thing to do if someone with a katana is going to attack you and you can't run away. Try and get in close rather then let them slash you from afar.

What most people fail to understand is that when someone comes after you with a katana he puts himself at an immediate disadvantage.

Well, the guy certainly got the respect of the yardies... for all the good posthumous respect will do him.

[Josquius]

Its the sensible thing to do if someone with a katana is going to attack you and you can't run away. Try and get in close rather then let them slash you from afar.

What most people fail to understand is that when someone comes after you with a katana he puts himself at an immediate disadvantage.

Who/what started that anyway?

[Malthus]

Its the sensible thing to do if someone with a katana is going to attack you and you can't run away. Try and get in close rather then let them slash you from afar.

What most people fail to understand is that when someone comes after you with a katana he puts himself at an immediate disadvantage.

Who/what started that anyway?

Top Cat, in a famous post on Paradox entitled "The Octagon".

Top Cat only posted on Languish for a short time, unfortunately. He was a good 'un.

[Caliga]

I have no recollection of this "The Octagon" post. 

[Valmy]

I have no recollection of this "The Octagon" post. 

Are you serious?  We only reposted the things about five times.

Does somebody still have it someplace?

[Caliga]

Yes, totally serious. 

[Valmy]

Yes, totally serious. 

Ok here it is: The Octagon or how I won the respect of the Yardies:

Ok, little story for you all. I wonder if anybody can match it for sheer SHITE in the face of reality. True story.

Ok, in the cinema there's this lad who, well to say he was a friend of a friend would be going too far. More a hanger on of an acquaintance. Anyway, every social group will have one of these guys attached to it at some point. Small, weedy, boring. Talks about himself a LOT. If you are feeling charitable you could describe him as a Walter Mitty, if not he's just full of crap. Anyway. At the cinema waiting for a film to start and this lad, scrawny, greasy, boring, nobody quite knows who he is with or whose friend he is meant to be, launches into a monologue. I will quote it for you as close to verbatim as possible. One of the lads in this group is a boxer, really nice guy but tough as nails, almost went into boxing professionally but decided to study instead. Anyway the conversation has turned to his training regime and this other scrawny little bloke buts in;

"Yeah. People have no idea. It's all bullshit maaaaaan. I mean yeah, I could go to the gym, I could get biceps like this *makes gesture* and legs like this *another gesture*. i could get a six pack, no problem. But *drag on cigarette* what I have to do, is ask myself the question, do I want that? *ostentatious drag on cigarette, pause for dramatic effect*. The answer... is no. My body is a weapon. I mean, you get in a fight, what good is that? What people don't realise IS that say, say somebody comes at you with a knife. He's putting himself at an immediate disadvantage. What's he got? A knife. One weapon. I've got two fists, two legs, two knees, two elbows *indicates body parts in turn as though we didn't know where they are*. If he loses his knife, what's he got then? Take these bouncers at clubs. Sure, they look tough. Perhaps one of them could take me in a bar fight. *draw on cigarette* Perhaps. But I'd like to see how any of them could cope against me in "the octagon". I was in the city once, went into this bar. Looked normal from the outside but what I didn't know was it was a gangster bar. Guy behind the bar goes "get the fuck out of here" but I'm in no mood for shit so I tell him to get me a drink. He pulls this revolver from behind the bar and points it straight at me. I didn't sweat. Looked at the revolver, saw the safety was on. Looked him straight in the eyes and said "Are you going to serve me, or are you going to shoot me?" He pulls the trigger and it doesn't work cos of the safety and he keeps pulling the trigger but *drag on cigarette* I just keep my cool. Then, he puts his gun down and says "Hey man, you're cool man, ain't nothing scares you". *chuckles and shakes head* I got my drink. And THAT *draws on cigarette ostentatiously* is how I won the respect of the Yardies."

Several of us made our excuses and left. The rest of us were too astonished to say anything and just sat there staring while he sat in a haze of cigarette smoke looking smug. It was possibly the oddest ten minutes of my entire life.

Now... if anyone can come up with a real life example of sheer pathetic gittishness better than that I'd be VERY interested to hear it!

You can read the thread here: http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35481

[Caliga]

  Oh right!  I just forgot this was called "The Octagon".

[Winkelried]

29 prior convictions?   Wow.

This kid should get a medal

One more and he could have retired with full pension.

[Strix]

Come on. He was in the garage, not the house. No lives were in danger. I wouldn't even shoot at somebody in that situation, just scare them off.

Hey got any good stuff in your garage? 

[Zanza]

I wonder what I would have to face under German law if I killed a burglar.

I think killing someone to avert burglary would not fall under our self defense laws. It's not proportional.
So you probably be charged with manslaughter.

[The Minsky Moment]

I wonder what I would have to face under German law if I killed a burglar.

I think killing someone to avert burglary would not fall under our self defense laws. It's not proportional.
So you probably be charged with manslaughter.

So you would get 3 months of probation, a stern talking to from Angela Merkel, and a free paid vacation.

[sbr]

I wonder what I would have to face under German law if I killed a burglar.

I think killing someone to avert burglary would not fall under our self defense laws. It's not proportional.
So you probably be charged with manslaughter.

That proportional thing kills me; is there a chart you have to carry around to make sure you don't defend yourself too much?

[CountDeMoney]

The kid's toast.  You heard it here first.

[Caliga]

The kid's toast.  You heard it here first.

He will escape from the police using bullet time roundhouse kicks and by running up walls.