Teen suicide

[Malthus]

I assumed the premise was that there was something special about the teen years that makes one more prone to suicide, that it's a dangerous phase of growing up.

I think the premise is more like 'it is very surprising and concerning, to adults (and particularly to parents), to see teens who outwardly appear to have everything going for them commit suicide'.

If that's the premise, then I misunderstood it.  But that goes for most suicides, I imagine, not just in one's teen years.

Probably. The disconnect comes from the fact that teens who commit suicide haven't had time to accumulate the sort of long-term concerns adults worry about - money, job, divorce/marriage problems, etc. Ultimately (the thinking among parents and concerned adults goes, anyway) many teen problems are purely temporary - a girl/boy rejects you, problems with classmates, pressure to do well in school.   

[DGuller]

Fair enough.

[Berkut]

The premise was really just "Fuck, this sucks, and I am not sure what I should do, if anything".

Wasn't trying to answer any profound questions about the rate of teen suicide in general.

[Martinus]

There was an Atlantic article about 6 months back about suicides in the Palo Alto area.  The thesis was that children of high achievers have an impossible amount of pressure to compete.

Phew, so Berkut's kids are safe then.








Thank you, thank you, I will be here all week. Try the veal.

You are such a dick.

Thanks Marty, I actually could use a chuckle.

I couldn't help myself. It was just too tempting.

[Jacob]

Probably. The disconnect comes from the fact that teens who commit suicide haven't had time to accumulate the sort of long-term concerns adults worry about - money, job, divorce/marriage problems, etc. Ultimately (the thinking among parents and concerned adults goes, anyway) many teen problems are purely temporary - a girl/boy rejects you, problems with classmates, pressure to do well in school.

Yeah, but that's not the perspective most teenagers have. "This too shall pass" is - at least in my experience - not something you internalize until you've been through several bad stretches and come out on the other side.

[Malthus]

Probably. The disconnect comes from the fact that teens who commit suicide haven't had time to accumulate the sort of long-term concerns adults worry about - money, job, divorce/marriage problems, etc. Ultimately (the thinking among parents and concerned adults goes, anyway) many teen problems are purely temporary - a girl/boy rejects you, problems with classmates, pressure to do well in school.

Yeah, but that's not the perspective most teenagers have. "This too shall pass" is - at least in my experience - not something you internalize until you've been through several bad stretches and come out on the other side.

Absolutely: that's a big part of becoming an adult. Hence the disconnect between adults and teens.

[Habbaku]

Apart from anything else, seems like the one obvious thing is to not have guns in the house.  If all else fails and your kid's suicide attempt catches you completely by surprise, at least give your kid a chance to fuck it up.

I actually do have a (moderately) secured pistol in the house, that is actually technically illegal, since it isn't registered in New York. I've been meaning to get rid of it for some time, actually, but am not really sure how to do so.

Disassemble.  Throw one piece a week into the garbage.

[Jaron]

Yeah, everything feels a lot worse as a young person.

To live is to suffer as they say.

Another part of the problem is the social media. In days past if you had suicidal thoughts and wanted to talk to someone then you might be forced to talk to a parent, a friend (who might report it to someone else out of concern) a teacher, etc.

Nowadays you can go online to a number of social medias and be anonymous and talk to people who don't know you and don't care about you. While I'm sure many encourage suicidal people to seek help, I am positive there are also some who take the approach of "Its your life. If you aren't happy you should do what you think is best." That kind of advice is very toxic to a very young person who doesn't know better yet. It may strengthen their resolve to end their life.

[viper37]

I am not even sure how to talk to them about it - and it seems like NOT talking to them about it might be the worst possible choice. I am sure it is being talked about in school.

I'm not sure you could see the signs, unless your kid had a severe depression.
And I'm not sure a parent is the best person to talk about it either.

Maybe talk about life, how it is fun to live, instead.

Don't push your life objectives on your kid, as in the obvious "I failed as a basketball player but you'll succeed at reaching the NBA".
If he likes competition, he likes it.  If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it.  The line is very thin betwee supporting your child and pushing him too far.

[Razgovory]

I assumed the premise was that there was something special about the teen years that makes one more prone to suicide, that it's a dangerous phase of growing up.

Well, often it's in the young adult phase that certain mental illnesses emerge.  Things like Schizophrenia.  The biggest thing is to watch for changes in mood and behavior.

[Jaron]

I assumed the premise was that there was something special about the teen years that makes one more prone to suicide, that it's a dangerous phase of growing up.

Well, often it's in the young adult phase that certain mental illnesses emerge.  Things like Schizophrenia.  The biggest thing is to watch for changes in mood and behavior.

And then you have people like Raz who get bullied by people like Martinus. Now our boy Raz is strong enough to withstand such things but what about the person who is on edge and just needs a little push and along comes the Martiniii of the world to give that push? Despicable.

[Oexmelin]

I actually do have a (moderately) secured pistol in the house, that is actually technically illegal, since it isn't registered in New York. I've been meaning to get rid of it for some time, actually, but am not really sure how to do so.

If you are still in Rochester, NY, the city organizes from time to time anonymous buybacks. http://www.cityofrochester.gov/article.aspx?id=8589966918

[MadImmortalMan]

Yeah, everything feels a lot worse as a young person.

Yes. Everything for kids is experienced in extremes. What's good is incredible and what's bad is devastating.

[Barrister]

I actually do have a (moderately) secured pistol in the house, that is actually technically illegal, since it isn't registered in New York. I've been meaning to get rid of it for some time, actually, but am not really sure how to do so.

If you are still in Rochester, NY, the city organizes from time to time anonymous buybacks. http://www.cityofrochester.gov/article.aspx?id=8589966918

If you don't want to wait, and don't care about the money, I'm 99.8% sure that if you call up the local police they will gladly take it off your hands.

[DGuller]

I wouldn't put myself at the mercy of common sense of police officers.