Why does it always comes down to me to face the widows?
Why do I have to carry all these memories?
Why do I always come back?
I am tired of this shit.
I cannot deal with this anymore.
Fuck man, I am just a stupid dude trying to do the best I can.
Man, there is nothing I can tell them to make their lives easier.
Fuck man, I cannot imagine my baby boy growing up without me.
How can I say anything meaningful to them?
Are you ok?
Maybe you should ask your rabbi for advice.
We have a memorial service tomorrow.
I mean, today in the morning.
I got my little speech written down.
But it feels so fake.
Their husbands are heroes, but that means nothing to them and their children.
:console:
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 07, 2013, 03:29:22 AM
Maybe you should ask your rabbi for advice.
My rabbi's advice was to tell the truth.
The truth is they died fighting an endless war in some foreign country for no friggin reason.
Quote from: Siege on June 07, 2013, 03:35:59 AM
We have a memorial service tomorrow.
I mean, today in the morning.
I got my little speech written down.
But it feels so fake.
Their husbands are heroes, but that means nothing to them and their children.
Please don't say they gave their lives, they didn't, their lives were taken from them.
Quote from: Siege on June 07, 2013, 03:41:01 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 07, 2013, 03:29:22 AM
Maybe you should ask your rabbi for advice.
My rabbi's advice was to tell the truth.
The truth is they died fighting an endless war in some foreign country for no friggin reason.
Try giving your honest appraisal of their personality and values? Ideally in a way that the family recognizes that personality and values.
Quote from: Siege on June 07, 2013, 03:35:59 AM
We have a memorial service tomorrow.
I mean, today in the morning.
I got my little speech written down.
But it feels so fake.
Their husbands are heroes, but that means nothing to them and their children.
Total layman's opinion from me. But as irreplaceable as the loss is to the families, I think two things are probably important to them right now: 1) that they know they are supported and not alone, 2) that the deaths of their family members was not senseless
Quote from: Syt on June 07, 2013, 03:46:04 AM
Quote from: Siege on June 07, 2013, 03:35:59 AM
We have a memorial service tomorrow.
I mean, today in the morning.
I got my little speech written down.
But it feels so fake.
Their husbands are heroes, but that means nothing to them and their children.
Total layman's opinion from me. But as irreplaceable as the loss is to the families, I think two things are probably important to them right now: 1) that they know they are supported and not alone, 2) that the deaths of their family members was not senseless
That's what I will tell them.
That's what I wrote on my little speech.
The Platoon Sergeant and the Platoon leader will say the same, better worded and without my stupid israeli accent, that will sound so foreign to them.
I'm done man. I'm getting out.
I cannot deal with this shit anymore.
I swear to you, I have done the best I can do, every decision I have made have been the best I could do.
In my limited experience speaking at funerals, it's often the little things that make an impression, something unexpected or new, not the grander 'what's it all about' stuff. If possible, tell them something they don't already know about their husband, it's their only chance to hear it from you.
:console:
Quote from: Maladict on June 07, 2013, 04:28:05 AM
In my limited experience speaking at funerals, it's often the little things that make an impression, something unexpected or new, not the grander 'what's it all about' stuff. If possible, tell them something they don't already know about their husband, it's their only chance to hear it from you.
Its probably too late for me to throw this in, but Mal is correct; you don't need to say
anything about "why he died." There are plenty of others to tell that story. You should just talk about what the guy meant to your squad, and follow that up with a few anecdotes; amusing habits or sayings or whatever. Your job is to ensure that the family knows that their loved one served among friends, and that he touched your lives in a positive way. That's a story only you can tell. Your speech should be no different than if he had died in a traffic accident.
Great advice.
Fuck you too. :hug:
Hope you feel better about it by the time you read this. Some aspects of the job are not easy, never has been, but I don't see you doing anything else than been a soldier. Stay strong.
Quote from: Siege on June 07, 2013, 03:14:03 AM
Why does it always comes down to me to face the widows?
Why do I have to carry all these memories?
Why do I always come back?
I am tired of this shit.
I cannot deal with this anymore.
Fuck man, I am just a stupid dude trying to do the best I can.
You are good man trying to do a very difficult job as best he can.
Yeah... what grumbler and CC and Mal and everyone else said :hug: