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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Scipio on January 20, 2013, 06:16:21 PM

Title: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Scipio on January 20, 2013, 06:16:21 PM
So, I'm working on cleaning up my cell phone (going all wonky- time for some electronic hygiene) and my wife is making red sauce.

How, you ask?

By putting my brand new All-Clad 3qt saute on high, putting a teaspoon of olive oil, and smoking out the house.

Then, she gets all pissy because I call her on it.

Then, and I shit you not, with the pan smoking like the groves of Sicily on fire after the Sicilian vespers, SHE DUMPS IN THREE CUPS OF RAW ONIONS AND TOMATOES.

I ask you, is this the cooking of a patriot?

Of a human?

Of anyone with training or sense?

No.  It is the cooking of a savage.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: PDH on January 20, 2013, 06:27:29 PM
Remember...even though it doesn't seem like it right at this moment, you love her more than food.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Ed Anger on January 20, 2013, 06:28:23 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyoungadultfinances.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F05%2Fslap.jpeg&hash=ea70db540c0f10f6ca4e824a649b9ef0a8bcdc15)
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Admiral Yi on January 20, 2013, 06:38:42 PM
Ball gag and nipple clamps.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: CountDeMoney on January 20, 2013, 06:50:40 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on January 20, 2013, 06:38:42 PM
Ball gag and nipple clamps.

Instead of raw onions and tomatoes?  I can dig it.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Scipio on January 20, 2013, 10:51:39 PM
Quote from: PDH on January 20, 2013, 06:27:29 PM
Remember...even though it doesn't seem like it right at this moment, you love her more than food.
But do I love her more than my saute pan?
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Baron von Schtinkenbutt on January 20, 2013, 10:54:11 PM
Quote from: Scipio on January 20, 2013, 10:51:39 PM
But do I love her more than my saute pan?

Nothing Scotch-Brite can't fix.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Viking on January 20, 2013, 10:56:26 PM
Some wisdom I have learned. You can either tell a person to do something or tell a person how to do something, never both. You solution is either

A: Honey this tastes great.
B: Honey I'll cook tomorrow.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: lustindarkness on January 20, 2013, 11:00:58 PM
To truly cook like a savage she needed to be wearing an apron, nothing else. Was she?
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Scipio on January 20, 2013, 11:13:20 PM
Quote from: lustindarkness on January 20, 2013, 11:00:58 PM
To truly cook like a savage she needed to be wearing an apron, nothing else. Was she?
No comment.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: lustindarkness on January 20, 2013, 11:35:21 PM
Savages!





:thumbsup:
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Ideologue on January 21, 2013, 12:26:34 AM
When of course the proper way is to buy premade sauce, and put it on a stove till it is reasonably hot.  IT'S CALLED DIVISION OF LABOR.
Title: Re: My wife cooks like a complete savage (NSFW content)
Post by: Caliga on January 21, 2013, 12:29:16 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on January 20, 2013, 06:28:23 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fyoungadultfinances.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F05%2Fslap.jpeg&hash=ea70db540c0f10f6ca4e824a649b9ef0a8bcdc15)
Yo Ed is that the bitch from Buck Rogers? :)
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