LOL (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/9572187/Couples-who-share-the-housework-are-more-likely-to-divorce-study-finds.html)
Quote
Couples who share the housework are more likely to divorce, study finds
Divorce rates are far higher among "modern" couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion's share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found.
In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.
"What we've seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn't necessarily contribute to contentment," said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled "Equality in the Home".
The lack of correlation between equality at home and quality of life was surprising, the researcher said.
"One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite," he said.
The figures clearly show that "the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate," he went on.
The reasons, Mr Hansen said, lay only partially with the chores themselves.
"Maybe it's sometimes seen as a good thing to have very clear roles with lots of clarity ... where one person is not stepping on the other's toes," he suggested.
"There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight."
But the deeper reasons for the higher divorce rate, he suggested, came from the values of "modern" couples rather than the chores they shared.
"Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage" as being less sacred, Mr Hansen said. "In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially.
They can manage much easier if they divorce," he said. Norway has a long tradition of gender equality and childrearing is shared equally between mothers and fathers in 70 per cent of cases.
But when it comes to housework, women in Norway still account for most of it in seven out of 10 couples. The study emphasised women who did most of the chores did so of their own volition and were found to be as "happy" those in "modern" couples.
Dr Frank Furedi, Sociology professor at the University of Canterbury, said the study made sense as chore sharing took place more among couples from middle class professional backgrounds, where divorce rates are known to be high.
"These people are extremely sensitive to making sure everything is formal, laid out and contractual. That does make for a fairly fraught relationship," he told the Daily Telegraph.
"The more you organise your relationship, the more you work out diaries and schedules, the more it becomes a business relationship than an intimate, loving spontaneous one.
"That tends to encourage a conflict of interest rather than finding harmonious resolutions." He said while the survey applied to Norway, he was confident the results would be the same in the UK.
"In a good relationship people simply don't know who does what and don't particularly care. "Unless marriage is a relationship above anything else, then whenever there are tensions or contradictions things come to a head. You have less capacity to forgive and absorb the bad stuff."
The survey appeared to contradict another recent one across seven countries including Britain that found that men who shouldered a bigger share of domestic responsibilities had a better sense of wellbeing and enjoyed a better work-life balance.
The researchers expected to find that where men shouldered more of the burden, women's happiness levels were higher. In fact they found that it was the men who were happier while their wives and girlfriends appeared to be largely unmoved.
Those men who did more housework generally reported less work-life conflict and were scored slightly higher for wellbeing overall.
Experts suggested that, while this may be partly because they felt less guilty, the main reason could be that they had simply learnt the secret of a quiet life.
So...doing more housework will not make your girl happier. Use that information in the most effective way you can, guys. :D
My situation appears to be one of those "nobody knows who does what and nobody cares" ones. If we fight about that stuff it tends to come up and both of us are a bit surprised about how much stuff the other was doing that we weren't aware of.
I wish my GF did household work from her own accord. :shurg:
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:08:15 PM
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
Heh. If I'm doing it, it's getting done my way. There is no wrong way. I do think some people deliberately do a bad job so they don't get asked again. That's stupid.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:08:15 PM
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
I believe this is the case. Its easier for both of us for her to do it her way.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:08:15 PM
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
I learned long ago that if I do a job poorly enough, I won't be asked to it again.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on September 28, 2012, 12:17:34 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:08:15 PM
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
Heh. If I'm doing it, it's getting done my way. There is no wrong way. I do think some people deliberately do a bad job so they don't get asked again. That's stupid.
Yeah that is the way I feel as well. And I would hope the only people who intentionally screw it up are kids trying to get out of chores. Any adult who acts that way should be slapped.
Quote from: Valmy on September 28, 2012, 12:25:23 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on September 28, 2012, 12:17:34 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:08:15 PM
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
Heh. If I'm doing it, it's getting done my way. There is no wrong way. I do think some people deliberately do a bad job so they don't get asked again. That's stupid.
Yeah that is the way I feel as well. And I would hope the only people who intentionally screw it up are kids trying to get out of chores. Any adult who acts that way should be slapped.
Quote from: Razgovory on September 28, 2012, 12:24:51 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:08:15 PM
The conflict doesn't come from men doing 50% of the housework--it's from men doing 50% of the housework wrong.
IS THAT THE WAY YOU MOP A FLOOR NEVER MIND I'LL DO IT
I learned long ago that if I do a job poorly enough, I won't be asked to it again.
My minions do that all the time, and the best response is to make them do something unpleasant in retaliation. Wives do the same thing, so it is not a good strategy to follow.
Women trying to avoid their work :rolleyes:
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on September 28, 2012, 12:17:34 PM
Heh. If I'm doing it, it's getting done my way. There is no wrong way. I do think some people deliberately do a bad job so they don't get asked again. That's stupid.
There's only two options: the wrong way and her way. And since you don't subscribe to that theory, I believe your claims that you're married are invalid.
Seems a weird conclusion to come to based on the facts given. It doesn't take into account that where the women do the majority of the housework, the home is usually fairly conservative. Divorce has been known to be less likely in conservative households because of religious convictions, morals against divorce, financial pressure to remain with the earning spouse, etc.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on September 28, 2012, 12:17:34 PM
Heh. If I'm doing it, it's getting done my way. There is no wrong way. I do think some people deliberately do a bad job so they don't get asked again. That's stupid.
There is a "wrong" way: the way that doesn't get it clean. Most people actually care if it's done well, but there are those who only swish a dirty mop around with dirty water and then can't understand why their spouse flips out over it. You obviously don't know very many slobs.
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 12:58:06 PM
There is a "wrong" way: the way that doesn't get it clean. Most people actually care if it's done well, but there are those who only swish a dirty mop around with dirty water and then can't understand why their spouse flips out over it. You obviously don't know very many slobs.
I rest my motherfucking case.
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 12:58:06 PM
There is a "wrong" way: the way that doesn't get it clean. Most people actually care if it's done well, but there are those who only swish a dirty mop around with dirty water and then can't understand why their spouse flips out over it. You obviously don't know very many slobs.
Well you feel that way, because you are an overworked parent who just wants to get crap done. But plenty of people are really compulsive and particular about exactly how housework gets done.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 12:59:33 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 12:58:06 PM
There is a "wrong" way: the way that doesn't get it clean. Most people actually care if it's done well, but there are those who only swish a dirty mop around with dirty water and then can't understand why their spouse flips out over it. You obviously don't know very many slobs.
I rest my motherfucking case.
Let my ex-husband mop your floor and then tell me that you'd be okay with that. I bet you'd be scrubbing your kitchen floor on your hands and knees with bleach afterwards, too. :contract:
Quote from: Valmy on September 28, 2012, 01:04:42 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 12:58:06 PM
There is a "wrong" way: the way that doesn't get it clean. Most people actually care if it's done well, but there are those who only swish a dirty mop around with dirty water and then can't understand why their spouse flips out over it. You obviously don't know very many slobs.
Well you feel that way, because you are an overworked parent who just wants to get crap done. But plenty of people are really compulsive and particular about exactly how housework gets done.
You're agreeing with me here, Valmy. :mellow:
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 01:06:41 PM
You're agreeing with me here, Valmy. :mellow:
I simply think 'most' is not accurate at all. A huge number of people are convinced their standards and methods should be adopted by their spouse or they are doing it wrong. People who are reasonable to be satisfied just with basic cleanliness and just getting it done are refreshing to find in the world of housework.
I'm torn here between ascribing this (if this is in fact the case) to 50/50 households creating conflicting expectations for what their rational modern brain and their irrational "cave person" brain want out of the relationship. Cave man Ugg and Cave woman Urk did not want the same thing out of a partnership, they wanted different things.
Either that or the same reason two kids will never be happy even when mom lines the juice up to the nearest micrometer when giving both the same amount of juice.
Quote from: Valmy on September 28, 2012, 01:18:09 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 01:06:41 PM
You're agreeing with me here, Valmy. :mellow:
I simply think 'most' is not accurate at all. A huge number of people are convinced their standards and methods should be adopted by their spouse or they are doing it wrong. People who are reasonable to be satisfied just with basic cleanliness and just getting it done are refreshing to find in the world of housework.
Still agreeing with me...
Slobs are slobs, not "people who are reasonable to be satisfied just with basic cleanliness and just getting it done". They're slobs who don't care if it's basically clean.
Why am I not surprised; there is after all only one correct way to mop a floor.
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 01:30:20 PM
Still agreeing with me...
Slobs are slobs, not "people who are reasonable to be satisfied just with basic cleanliness and just getting it done". They're slobs who don't care if it's basically clean.
What you are saying is most people are reasonable and just want to get the house clean. I disagree that most people are reasonable, particularly about something like close living conditions. Since that is the opposite of what you were saying I am curious how this is agreeing with you.
Quote from: Valmy on September 28, 2012, 01:35:40 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 01:30:20 PM
Still agreeing with me...
Slobs are slobs, not "people who are reasonable to be satisfied just with basic cleanliness and just getting it done". They're slobs who don't care if it's basically clean.
What you are saying is most people are reasonable and just want to get the house clean. I disagree that most people are reasonable, particularly about something like close living conditions. Since that is the opposite of what you were saying I am curious how this is agreeing with you.
Ah, I see. I was misunderstanding you. I do believe that most people are reasonable, but yeah, I can see why others wouldn't agree.
For the record, I tend to be fairly anal retentive when it comes to ME cleaning the house, but
so long as shit gets done, I don't really care if no one else is as particular as I am.EDIT: Max and my kids may disagree with the italicized bits. :ph34r:
I'm a slob and coincidentally single.
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 28, 2012, 12:05:19 PM
I wish my GF did household work from her own accord. :shurg:
Son, make that shit legal already. Jesus. :sleep:
I find this very plausible. Being her kitchen bitch risks killing the lust dead as disco. :hmm:
I'd like PDH to chime in on this one.
Quote from: Caliga on September 28, 2012, 02:15:23 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 28, 2012, 12:05:19 PM
I wish my GF did household work from her own accord. :shurg:
Son, make that shit legal already. Jesus. :sleep:
It's Quebec. They don't marry there.
Quote from: Malthus on September 28, 2012, 02:53:32 PM
Quote from: Caliga on September 28, 2012, 02:15:23 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 28, 2012, 12:05:19 PM
I wish my GF did household work from her own accord. :shurg:
Son, make that shit legal already. Jesus. :sleep:
It's Quebec. They don't marry there.
That's right. Last census showed that 31% of Quebecers are Couples living together as common law(or 31% of couples, not sure).
Quote from: Caliga on September 28, 2012, 02:15:23 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 28, 2012, 12:05:19 PM
I wish my GF did household work from her own accord. :shurg:
Son, make that shit legal already. Jesus. :sleep:
You got 5k$ for me to spend on that? Cause I sure as shit don't.
It costs 5 grand to get married??
Quote from: Admiral Yi on September 28, 2012, 03:08:46 PM
It costs 5 grand to get married??
That's a cheap wedding. I expect to spend that on my daughter's dress alone when the time comes*. <_<
*Max disagrees with this, so there may be a ... discussion. :ph34r:
Quote from: Legbiter on September 28, 2012, 02:24:16 PM
I find this very plausible. Being her kitchen bitch risks killing the lust dead as disco. :hmm:
I also suppose that being incompetent (in her eyes) at housework will only reduce her respect for you.
Quote from: Viking on September 28, 2012, 03:17:37 PM
Quote from: Legbiter on September 28, 2012, 02:24:16 PM
I find this very plausible. Being her kitchen bitch risks killing the lust dead as disco. :hmm:
I also suppose that being incompetent (in her eyes) at housework will only reduce her respect for you.
That and exhaustion from working all day then cleaning/cooking all evening kind of kills any desire, too.
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 03:16:42 PM
That's a cheap wedding. I expect to spend that on my daughter's dress alone when the time comes*. <_<
Brown Wolf was suggesting that was the cost to get married, not the wedding.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on September 28, 2012, 03:19:52 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 03:16:42 PM
That's a cheap wedding. I expect to spend that on my daughter's dress alone when the time comes*. <_<
Brown Wolf was suggesting that was the cost to get married, not the wedding.
For many, they are one in the same.
Quote from: Admiral Yi on September 28, 2012, 03:19:52 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 03:16:42 PM
That's a cheap wedding. I expect to spend that on my daughter's dress alone when the time comes*. <_<
Brown Wolf was suggesting that was the cost to get married, not the wedding.
I don't know how much it cost with or without a wedding, I figured 5k was enough to rent a space & have dinner with ~50 person. I really don't know. My GF & I agree that we have more urgent thing to spend the money on.
Quote from: Darth Wagtaros on September 28, 2012, 02:52:40 PM
I'd like PDH to chime in on this one.
I am a firm supporter that men don't do a half-assed job because they want to get out of work. Male Pattern Incompetence is because they truly don't see the problem, and when they try to do it it ends up being wrong. Sure, pleated pants wearing types who have sweater vests and visit their mom each Sunday for a brisket are able to clean all right, and maybe someday they will make some girl a nice wife, but for the rest of us it doesn't work that way.
In real life, I could never clean right - even putting the dishes in the dishwasher didn't work. No wonder I have an ex-wife.
Quote from: PDH on September 28, 2012, 04:13:17 PM
I am a firm supporter that men don't do a half-assed job because they want to get out of work. Male Pattern Incompetence is because they truly don't see the problem, and when they try to do it it ends up being wrong. Sure, pleated pants wearing types who have sweater vests and visit their mom each Sunday for a brisket are able to clean all right, and maybe someday they will make some girl a nice wife, but for the rest of us it doesn't work that way.
In real life, I could never clean right - even putting the dishes in the dishwasher didn't work. No wonder I have an ex-wife.
:rolleyes:
So only whipped men with no style are capable of putting plates in a dishwasher now, eh? There's a gene or something that's blocked by testasterone, preventing men from being able to see dirt/cobwebs/mud/slime? Sorry, not buying it. Especially because I know plenty of men who do a great job of cleaning given the right incentive.
Heh plenty of men clean for the sheer joy because they are neat freaks.
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 04:22:53 PM
Sorry, not buying it. Especially because I know plenty of men who do a great job of cleaning given the right incentive.
Yep, pussy whipped men.
This is a case, I think, of somewhat misleading statistics.
I think it is more likely that men and women who share chores are already more independently-minded, and probably just naturally more prone to divorce for unrelated reasons (or no reason at all)...while those couples where the wife is more likely to do all the chores, is probably already more "traditionally-minded", and just as much naturally less likely to divorce.
Yeah journalists never get correlation is not causation.
I blame bitchy women.
Quote from: PDH on September 28, 2012, 04:35:56 PM
I blame bitchy women.
:yes: The men that are nagged to death to help with the chores get sick of the bitching and upgrade to a newer, quieter model.
So you're saying the key to a happy marriage is for her to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich? Interesting. :hmm:
The
Quote from: sbr on September 28, 2012, 05:03:28 PM
Quote from: PDH on September 28, 2012, 04:35:56 PM
I blame bitchy women.
:yes: The men that are nagged to death to help with the chores get sick of the bitching and upgrade to a newer, quieter model.
the first ones just a practice run anyway... An expensive soul crushing practice run :D
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 28, 2012, 05:08:28 PM
So you're saying the key to a happy marriage is for her to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich? Interesting. :hmm:
sbr and PDH might not be the best sources for advice on successful marriages.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 28, 2012, 05:08:28 PM
So you're saying the key to a happy marriage is for her to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich? Interesting. :hmm:
I don't see how my wife making you a sandwich is going to help my marriage. :P
Quote from: Valmy on September 28, 2012, 05:09:31 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on September 28, 2012, 05:08:28 PM
So you're saying the key to a happy marriage is for her to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich? Interesting. :hmm:
sbr and PDH might not be the best sources for advice on successful marriages.
don't go all fahdiz on us
Hey, where'd he go to anyway?
Probably better than asking Guller and CDM though.
More likely that men simply have a higher tolerance for messiness. /generalization
Quote from: Tonitrus on September 28, 2012, 04:29:19 PM
This is a case, I think, of somewhat misleading statistics.
I think it is more likely that men and women who share chores are already more independently-minded, and probably just naturally more prone to divorce for unrelated reasons (or no reason at all)...while those couples where the wife is more likely to do all the chores, is probably already more "traditionally-minded", and just as much naturally less likely to divorce.
:yes:
Great minds..... :hug:
Quote from: Valmy on September 28, 2012, 04:25:05 PM
Heh plenty of men clean for the sheer joy because they are neat freaks.
Call me kooky, but back in my day, I learned very early that girls you bring home that you've pretty much just met are much more amenable to dropping their panties in a clean place than a filthy place.
Girls are weird like that. They won't fuck in filth. At least, not the ones really worth fucking.
Unless you're really attractive. Then they clean for you. I have a friend who it seems has one night stands just for the maid service :lol:
He's a dick, but entertaining :D
Quote from: HVC on September 28, 2012, 06:34:44 PM
Unless you're really attractive. Then they clean for you. I have a friend who it seems has one night stands just for the maid service :lol:
Sometimes that's a post-coital thing; had one girlfriend that, after sex, always had tons of energy and wanted to clean or do laundry or some shit. No scrubbing the bathtub at 2AM, please.
Quote from: PDH on September 28, 2012, 04:25:29 PM
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 04:22:53 PM
Sorry, not buying it. Especially because I know plenty of men who do a great job of cleaning given the right incentive.
Yep, pussy whipped men.
I prefer "hen-pecked" myself.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 06:37:30 PM
Quote from: HVC on September 28, 2012, 06:34:44 PM
Unless you're really attractive. Then they clean for you. I have a friend who it seems has one night stands just for the maid service :lol:
Sometimes that's a post-coital thing; had one girlfriend that, after sex, always had tons of energy and wanted to clean or do laundry or some shit. No scrubbing the bathtub at 2AM, please.
Oh crap, my wife did the dishes and cooked me bacon and eggs after our first time. :wub:
Was I that easy? :hmm:
From the study, it seems that people get divorced because they care too much
about worthless shit.
Being "equally responsible" does not mean two people need to do the exact same amount of the exact same things. People have different schedules, occupations, talents, tendencies, etc. No need to nitpick about percentages because that's what your teachers and friends told you how it's "supposed" to be.
Roles and "percentages" will inevitably change according to circumstances (especially due to aging, emergencies and tragedies). Just be fair and get shit done so that your family is healthy, wealthy, and happy for the long-term.
Quote from: Legbiter on September 28, 2012, 07:12:46 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on September 28, 2012, 06:37:30 PM
Quote from: HVC on September 28, 2012, 06:34:44 PM
Unless you're really attractive. Then they clean for you. I have a friend who it seems has one night stands just for the maid service :lol:
Sometimes that's a post-coital thing; had one girlfriend that, after sex, always had tons of energy and wanted to clean or do laundry or some shit. No scrubbing the bathtub at 2AM, please.
Oh crap, my wife did the dishes and cooked me bacon and eggs after our first time. :wub:
Was I that easy? :hmm:
Yes. If your girlfriend isn't fixing the plumbing, naked, at 2am, you're losing out.
Quote from: merithyn on September 28, 2012, 04:22:53 PM
:rolleyes:
So only whipped men with no style are capable of putting plates in a dishwasher now, eh? There's a gene or something that's blocked by testasterone, preventing men from being able to see dirt/cobwebs/mud/slime? Sorry, not buying it. Especially because I know plenty of men who do a great job of cleaning given the right incentive.
It can happen, regardless of you buying it or not. I just filter that stuff out unless something smells or really stands out.
When I got my own place I solved the issue by paying someone to clean it.
Quote from: Iormlund on September 29, 2012, 07:24:47 AM
It can happen, regardless of you buying it or not. I just filter that stuff out unless something smells or really stands out.
When I got my own place I solved the issue by paying someone to clean it.
Just because you're a slob, doesn't mean that all of the male world are.
Look, guys, it's pretty simple--if you want to get out of helping with the housework, the way to do it isn't to refuse to do it or argue about it, but rather to appear willing, even eager to help--but inept. A few broken cups and plates, and you won't be asked to help do the dishes anymore.
:)
What women don't understand, and they never can understand, is that men are genetically flawed. The broken second chromosome, making the Y, means that from the beginning men are fundamentally incapable of understanding things the way women do. Sure, some nancy boys can mince about and pretend to see the dirt the way women do, sure they can learn to mimic the cleaning of the fairer sex, but they never truly understand the meaning behind it.
Women, cannot grasp that men fundamentally can't get this - any attempt by men to pretend they do get it is just overcompensation.
Quote from: merithyn on September 29, 2012, 12:35:29 PM
Quote from: Iormlund on September 29, 2012, 07:24:47 AM
It can happen, regardless of you buying it or not. I just filter that stuff out unless something smells or really stands out.
When I got my own place I solved the issue by paying someone to clean it.
Just because you're a slob, doesn't mean that all of the male world are.
the fact that it's a pretty big stereotpye has to lend some credence to it. yes, not every guy is, but on average i think guys just have a lower level of what they consider unacceptably messy.
it's harder to do a good job when you don't really notice that it isn't up to snuff, so you just hire someone else to clean it for you :lol:
Quote from: PDH on September 29, 2012, 01:09:01 PM
Women, cannot grasp that men fundamentally can't get this - any attempt by men to pretend they do get it is just overcompensation.
A few years ago an old buddy of mine got divorced. We went to the beach on vacation for a few days and all he did during the day was clean the place up. On vacation. I kid you not. He even damaged the pattern in the tablecloth, he was scrubbing that hard. I had to remind the guy he was not married anymore.
That bitch crushed the poor bastard. :(
Quote from: Iormlund on September 29, 2012, 03:05:22 PM
Quote from: PDH on September 29, 2012, 01:09:01 PM
Women, cannot grasp that men fundamentally can't get this - any attempt by men to pretend they do get it is just overcompensation.
A few years ago an old buddy of mine got divorced. We went to the beach on vacation for a few days and all he did during the day was clean the place up. On vacation. I kid you not. He even damaged the pattern in the tablecloth, he was scrubbing that hard. I had to remind the guy he was not married anymore.
That bitch crushed the poor bastard. :(
It's always weird/sad to see the behavior baggage people carry from their previous partners.
People like to say that having a string of failed relationships is natural and necessary, but most of the time, the bad expectations and habits are carried on to ruin the next relationship. :(
Quote from: Grey Fox on September 28, 2012, 03:29:04 PM
I don't know how much it cost with or without a wedding, I figured 5k was enough to rent a space & have dinner with ~50 person. I really don't know. My GF & I agree that we have more urgent thing to spend the money on.
Marriage is for suckers stuck in that medieval mindset of getting married, baptising, chopping off bodyparts - welcome to the Age of Reason!
Quote from: merithyn on September 29, 2012, 12:35:29 PM
Quote from: Iormlund on September 29, 2012, 07:24:47 AM
It can happen, regardless of you buying it or not. I just filter that stuff out unless something smells or really stands out.
When I got my own place I solved the issue by paying someone to clean it.
Just because you're a slob, doesn't mean that all of the male world are.
He's a spaniard that's been living with his mom for too long that's why he never learned to do any house hold chores. :)
Are there any spaniards younger than 40 that don't live with their mom?
Quote from: sbr on September 30, 2012, 01:45:09 AM
Are there any spaniards younger than 40 that don't live with their mom?
Orphans.
Quote from: Vricklund on September 30, 2012, 01:05:50 AMHe's a spaniard that's been living with his mom for too long that's why he never learned to do any house hold chores. :)
:lol:
Precisely one of the best things about moving out was not having to do any chores anymore. :P
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on September 28, 2012, 12:00:09 PM
LOL (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/9572187/Couples-who-share-the-housework-are-more-likely-to-divorce-study-finds.html)
Couples who share the housework are more likely to divorce, study finds
Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion’s share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found.
In what feels like a blow to egalitarianism, new research finds that husbands and wives who assign housework along traditional gender lines have more sex than those who split the chores more equitably.http://healthland.time.com/2013/01/30/why-husbands-who-share-household-chores-miss-out-on-sex/
:rolleyes:
No matter how hard you guys try, you are not going to be able to roll the clock back. It's just not going to happen.
Quote from: HVC on September 28, 2012, 05:11:53 PM
don't go all fahdiz on us
Hey, where'd he go to anyway?
I'm right here :ph34r:
QuoteIt's also worth pointing out that the national survey data was collected between 1992 and 1994, but Brines and her co-authors saythat the relationship between sex and housework has changed little since then. Research reveals only a modest evolution in the division of household labor over the past 18 years — mainly in the realm of childcare, with more dads stepping up.
Pfft. It's a 20-year-old study, anyway. And while the division of household labor may not have changed over the last 18 years, that's not to say that the amount of sex that's happening has also stayed the same.
QuoteStill, for the husbands who might be feeling smug about the results of her study, Brines has a bit of advice. "Don't walk away from this research thinking, I should stay away from cooking or cleaning because I'll benefit from it," she cautions. "There may be costs associated with doing that."
After all, a great sex life isn't everything. Other research has found that neglecting to pitch in with dinner prep may create conflict in your marriage around the division of household labor. Men who shun cooking and cleaning can actually engender marital conflict which could also result in less sex. "There are trade-offs," says Brines. And that's putting it mildly.
I know that I find it hard to want to get freaky in the sheets when I'm so exhausted from having to work all day, and then come home and clean the house. Seems a lot less likely that sex will be happening under those conditions.
That's what cold-fishing was invented for. :ph34r:
According to this Japanese men do the least amount of chores among OECD countries: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21880124
QuoteIn Sweden, Germany and the US husbands spend, on average, three hours a day helping out with children and household chores. In Japan it's one hour, and they spend just 15 minutes a day with their children.
And according to this: http://chartsbin.com/view/uya (and lots of other studies and stories), the Japanese have sex the last frequently.
So the more chores -> less sex correlation doesn't seem to be that ironclad.
I do a ton of housework *pats self on back*.
Quote from: merithyn on March 22, 2013, 11:58:12 AM
:rolleyes:
No matter how hard you guys try, you are not going to be able to roll the clock back. It's just not going to happen.
Who are you talking about and how are they trying? :unsure:
Quote from: Caliga on March 22, 2013, 01:21:30 PM
I do a ton of housework *pats self on back*.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.begum9.com%2FAssets%2FProductImages%2F1HUSBANDTrophy.jpg&hash=a43e0b81a698351829a98a29224b66a9ff55a763)
:P
The dude in that trophy is naked.
Quote from: Valmy on March 22, 2013, 02:23:23 PM
Quote from: Caliga on March 22, 2013, 01:21:30 PM
I do a ton of housework *pats self on back*.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.begum9.com%2FAssets%2FProductImages%2F1HUSBANDTrophy.jpg&hash=a43e0b81a698351829a98a29224b66a9ff55a763)
:P
The statute holds a wreath and bows its head in mourning for its missing genitalia? :hmm:
Quote from: fahdiz on March 22, 2013, 02:23:48 PM
The dude in that trophy is naked.
He's wearing yoga pants.
Quote from: Malthus on March 22, 2013, 02:25:18 PM
The statute holds a wreath and bows its head in mourning for its missing genitalia? :hmm:
Eh, most trophies look like a dude mourning for his lost genitalia.
Quote from: Valmy on March 22, 2013, 02:29:07 PM
Quote from: Malthus on March 22, 2013, 02:25:18 PM
The statute holds a wreath and bows its head in mourning for its missing genitalia? :hmm:
Eh, most trophies look like a dude mourning for his lost genitalia.
Maybe, but it's funnier to see a genital-free statuette when it's a trophy for husbandry. :P
Quote from: Malthus on March 22, 2013, 02:36:58 PM
Quote from: Valmy on March 22, 2013, 02:29:07 PM
Quote from: Malthus on March 22, 2013, 02:25:18 PM
The statute holds a wreath and bows its head in mourning for its missing genitalia? :hmm:
Eh, most trophies look like a dude mourning for his lost genitalia.
Maybe, but it's funnier to see a genital-free statuette when it's a trophy for husbandry. :P
And especially when the trophy is for Cal! :D
Quote from: fahdiz on March 22, 2013, 03:00:29 PM
Quote from: Malthus on March 22, 2013, 02:36:58 PM
Quote from: Valmy on March 22, 2013, 02:29:07 PM
Quote from: Malthus on March 22, 2013, 02:25:18 PM
The statute holds a wreath and bows its head in mourning for its missing genitalia? :hmm:
Eh, most trophies look like a dude mourning for his lost genitalia.
Maybe, but it's funnier to see a genital-free statuette when it's a trophy for husbandry. :P
And especially when the trophy is for Cal! :D
That's not a wreath it's holding - it's an implant circumference gauge. :P
I tend to split it 100%-0% , seems to work out well, considerably less arguments.
Indeed so success was this approach I now divy up most actives this way. :cool:
Quote from: merithyn on March 22, 2013, 11:58:12 AM
:rolleyes:
No matter how hard you guys try, you are not going to be able to roll the clock back. It's just not going to happen.
We already have. I come from the future. There, women know their roles.
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 22, 2013, 04:47:57 PM
Quote from: merithyn on March 22, 2013, 11:58:12 AM
:rolleyes:
No matter how hard you guys try, you are not going to be able to roll the clock back. It's just not going to happen.
We already have. I come from the future. There, women know their roles.
:lol: