Just a question, albeit a personal one- I feel as if my father's approval was always of vital importance to me, and I desperately wanted him to be proud of me. This is strange, since he was an extremely permissive man who denied me nothing, and overflowed with pride and satisfaction in his only son. The littlest thing I did was a mighty accomplishment, and anything I failed to do was the work of my resentful detractors. Given that I never wanted for the warmth of things like hugs, praise, and public recognition, I wonder why I was so worried i'd lose it? I certainly pushed myself at times only because I felt I had my father's opinion of me to consider, and as I got older this evolved into an at-times oppressive sense of obligation to the family at large.
By contrast, my roommate's laconic and inexpressive nature I think is largely due to a lack of praise from his father, which is odd. Both father and son are intelligent, right-thinking Christian fellows, and his son has never had trouble with the law, makes good grades, has proper values, a demure young maiden of a girlfriend in a long-term relationship, and is generally the flower of his generation.
It bothers me that his father didn't praise him more or shower his son with affection, but there's nothing to be done for it- what's baffling is that they are both the best kind of people, upright and excellent in character and nature. I just wish there was more love in the world for the people I care about. :Embarrass:
What was your relationship with your father? How did it effect you?
Can't you just come out already and start sucking dick, so we stop getting these tortured emo threads?
Quote from: Martinus on June 16, 2012, 12:30:21 AM
Can't you just come out already and start sucking dick, so we stop getting these tortured emo threads?
:lol:
That didn't exactly stop you...
:lol:
I get on with my dad. Didn't when I was younger, which is normal. He never showered me with praise but was always very proud of his kids.
Martinus makes a valid point.
And yet, so does Eddie. :hmm:
Anyway, obviously I'm a mild disappointment to my father. I'm a mild disappointment to myself. That's not that big a deal, and obviously we can't all be winners, and it doesn't mean we should give up or anything.
But I have never lacked in terms of financial support, and only because of emotional awkwardness in terms of moral support. Even so, I owe my dad a lot, and I hope one day I can repay him for all he's done for me.
At risk of getting personal...
My dad was always a bit distant. Growing up he was a sportswriter - in particular I remember he was always gone a lot during the Roughriders season ( we lived in Saskatoon) and during the Brier. I don't think he wasn't proud of me - some of my best memories are from the "Backyard Olympics" of '84, or from when he took me to Ottawa for the Riders vs 'Riders game. And I still very foundly remember him telling me he was proud of me when I was at my bar call ceremony.
That being said - as a sportswriter he always worked nights growing up. We seemed to rarely see him. And as a kid he made me the backyard skating rink that Walter Gretzky did, but I showed absolutely zero interest in.
I dunno. Like a hell of a lot of people - I think I know my dad loves me, but I secretly worry that I... disappoint is too strong. But can't really relate to.
Quote from: Barrister on June 16, 2012, 12:47:18 AMI dunno. Like a hell of a lot of people - I think I know my dad loves me, but I secretly worry that I... disappoint is too strong. But can't really relate to.
:hug:
But surely that is too strong. You're not a disappointment to anybody, and you should know that. :)
Quote from: Ideologue on June 16, 2012, 12:48:36 AM
Quote from: Barrister on June 16, 2012, 12:47:18 AMI dunno. Like a hell of a lot of people - I think I know my dad loves me, but I secretly worry that I... disappoint is too strong. But can't really relate to.
:hug:
But surely that is too strong. You're not a disappointment to anybody, and you should know that. :)
Oh I know. I know my parents love me. :hug:
Incidentally.. being a parent yourelf is a great reminder of just how much your own parents did for you.
But like I said - I don't worry my dad doesn't love me - I just worry he doesn't identify with me. He's the "man's man" sportswriter - I'm the boring prosecutor.
I'm surprised you said this thread was emo, pole. :huh: After all, like I said, I had a great relationship with my father, and definitely am the better for always having him there supporting, encouraging and caring for me. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't get a hug and told how important I was, or so on. Not exactly an angsty background.
It's just that I want more people to be happy and enjoy good relationships of their own with -their- fathers, and was wondering what languish's experiences were.
Putting people in gaol is pretty manly.
Also, prosecuting offenders and shit = more interesting than some dudes slapping a puck around.
Me and my Dad have always gotten along well. :)
Quote
Me and my Dad have always gotten along well. :)
« Last Edit: Today at 02:35:37 am by jimmy olsen »
Pleased to hear of his recovery. ;)
I don't get it.
Before the edit, his post read "always got along well".
What's not to respect and love? But I never felt driven by the opinions of my parents when it came to school performance, career choice and similar shit.
My dad is brilliant and funny as hell. I am more intelligent than him but my style of humor is more about one-liners.
Were any of you from single parent households?
I guess a father shows a good amount of respect if they did not abandon or abuse you.
No, the respect of either of my parents wasn't at all important to me then and isn't now. I have an increasing amount of respect for them for all they've done for me, but never cared if they respected me to any degree.
I've never thought about it this way. Looking back, I don't think I deserved any respect or praise and not surprisingly I didn't get any. Which is fine by me, as I did not care. My teenage years was a single-minded pursuit of university graduation and an office job. Before I got it I wouldn't respect myself either.
Quote from: Monoriu on June 16, 2012, 12:12:31 PM
I've never thought about it this way. Looking back, I don't think I deserved any respect or praise and not surprisingly I didn't get any. Which is fine by me, as I did not care. My teenage years was a single-minded pursuit of university graduation and an office job. Before I got it I wouldn't respect myself either.
What is your current office job?
Quote from: Caliga on June 16, 2012, 08:36:11 AM
No, the respect of either of my parents wasn't at all important to me then and isn't now. I have an increasing amount of respect for them for all they've done for me, but never cared if they respected me to any degree.
I think this is true for me with my Dad. My Mom, however, always showed respect for my achievements, even now when my achievements run counter to her professed religious beliefs. And I've always valued that.
It might have been, but my dad lived 2300 miles away when I was a kid. So no.
Dad gave me the leverage and support to succeed or fail as I saw fit.
Quote from: Phillip V on June 16, 2012, 12:24:08 PM
Quote from: Monoriu on June 16, 2012, 12:12:31 PM
I've never thought about it this way. Looking back, I don't think I deserved any respect or praise and not surprisingly I didn't get any. Which is fine by me, as I did not care. My teenage years was a single-minded pursuit of university graduation and an office job. Before I got it I wouldn't respect myself either.
What is your current office job?
Office assistant, HK government.