Languish.org

In the year 74, during the Age of Myth, a small group of dwarves from the Mountainhome of Zon Rimtar, or"Languish, Bane of Easterners", elected the dwarf Fireblade to lead them. Lead them away from their cramped, constantly besieged home. Lead them away from the constant hunger and thirst they suffered from the dwindling booze supplies. And lead them.. to glory and riches.

As they loaded their wagon, the dwarves took several items with them. Three pickaxes. An axe to chop wood. Several chickens, a wheelbarrow, some dogs, and ropes. And, that all-important item for any self-respecting dwarvish civilization, a hammer and anvil. For the dwarves didn't just intend to build a giant motherfucking steel pyramid, to make the elves and goblins tremble in fear. They were also going to build giant motherfucking steel buttplugs, for this was a kinky lot. And the dwarves were all fags. For they, after all, came from Languish, and faggotry is rampant there. As they travelled, amid constant buggery stops, the dwarves tried to use things they found out in the woods for their assplay. But none of it was quite what they wanted. No, they needed the biting cold, yet oddly comforting bite of steel up their asses. This disappointment forced them to travel on..

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Gay Dwarves pressing on to their new home

Eventually, the wagon broke down. They were somewhere in the western mountains. Despite the snow and ice, the mountain before them looked promising indeed. Initial prospecting revealed that coal and iron were in abundance under the mountain, which were two crucial ingredients for the fucked up, diabolical plan of the dwarves. For they not only wanted to shove giant hunks of steel up their own asses.. they wanted to be the first dwarves to forge a buttplug large enough to explore a dragon's gaping asshole!

ROSTER:

Fireblade: 74
sbr: 75

RULES:

This is your standard DF succession game, using the latest patch (34.10). Mineral abundance set to high, because fuck it, I want to build shit. I genned a shitload of megabeasts, titans, and stuff too. We're playing in a temperate biome, half mountain, half forest, in a savage good environment. You play from Spring of your year until the end of Winter, at which time you pass all relevant files to the next person. When you play, name one dwarf after yourself. Otherwise, have fun!

The wagon stopped at the edge of a forest, aside from a small mountain. The dwarves stopped shoving branches up their asses, and looked around. This looks like a quite promising spot, they all thought. "Look, right there! A vein of gold! Here, we will all surely grow rich and powerful!" Fireblade exclaimed. Hopping off the wagon, looked at the terrain a bit more closely.

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The ground was covered in snow. Close by the wagon was a featherwood tree, which is a bit useless for hunting bolts but makes a really bitchin' bed. The sides of the mountain were composed of black sand, chert, and gypsum. All a bit useless, but the small outcroppings of gold, casseterite, bituminous coal, and gems poking out the weathered face of the mountain hinted at the vast riches to be plundered from the earth. Even if this doesn't turn into the gayest mountainhome in the entire world, thought Fireblade, this place will make me millions.. if we don't all die. With a shrug, Fireblade ordered his dwarves to work.

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Fireblade was chosen to be expedition leader due to the fact that not only could be suck a fluffy wambler through a lead pipe, he was also an accomplished mechanic and negotiator.. which would be very useful when the first caravans arrive. The other members of his mobile orgy/group of founders are three miners, a woodcutter/carpenter, a mason, and a farmer. These dwarves are largely unremarkable, otherwise, except for the fact that they all get really weird (in a good way) when they get drunk. To that end, Fireblade brought along a larger than normal surplus of booze, so he could get that one miner to do that thing he does after he drinks a bit. After a few words, these big, burly, leather-clad dwarves set to work!

The miners were directed to carve out an entrance, while the woodcutter was told to start clearcutting all that fucking wood. The plan had several features useful to the future of the fortress. The first was a ninety degree bend, which would prevent invaders from having a straight shot into the interior. There were several places to place restraints on the floor, to leash guard dogs. And near the stairwell were several rooms, to initially house the mason, mechanic, and carpenter. Within a month, many trees were felled, and it was ready to begin digging down!

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The next order of business was to lay out a plan to house the trade depot, storage rooms, and a farm, to take advantage of the farmable soil nearby. The second floor was laid out in a small square, with a trade depot and storage for trade items on the left, small workrooms in the middle, and bedrooms, a small dining hall, and other amenities on the right. Further to the right is a large area for growing food and butchering animals, of which Fireblade anticipated would be many.

Several months passed. The trade depot was built, the rooms were (mostly) furnished, and the first crops were planted. And then, summer was upon us!

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Godfuckingdammit.

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How the fuck does a pigeon-looking motherfucker steal a motherfucking WHEELBARROW? Standing Order #1: Keas are to be exterminated. The carpenter has been ordered to begin constructing crossbows and bolts for that purpose. The plump helmets, who the fuck cares I'm growing more now, but a wheelbarrow? Christ.

Soon after fucking Big Bird stole our shit like Young Ice Cube, some migrants arrived. When the word was shouted from the woodcutter that migrants were coming, Fireblade initially began praying to Armok for La Migra to arrive before he realized that didn't speak Dwarfican, but Dwglish. Thank fuck.

Our migrants:

-Sodel Onshenkeskal, novice butcher, shearer, and presser. Or, as he would soon be known, "Mengeles of the Kea".
-Cattan Lorbamarel, fisherdwarf and dabbling wrestler. He would be doing some "wrestling", all right!
-Morul Engiglogem, another damn fisherdwarf, but a competent maceman. In the meantime, he'd be stonecrafting.
-Ushrir Medtobzuglar, dwarven child. He has been assigned to the dwarf Grallon's quarters.
-Udib Estuniden, another dwarven child. Grallon's lucky day!
-Mafol Othosshorast, another fucking dwarf child. Are you shitting me?

So, three semi-useful dwarves, and three utterly useless ones. Well, fine.

With the new labor, construction and other necessary tasks moved more smoothly. The carpenter Grallon was given a nice new room, and space was found for the younglings as well. A yak, water buffalo, and llama were butchered, and many great feasts were held to celebrate the progress of the fortress. But this wasn't enough for Fireblade.. he needed something to celebrate. Was he not worthy of a space of his home? It was time to expand.. he needed a place of his own, away from the plebs!

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The dwarves were ordered to carve out an area. In it, Fireblade planned to build a tomb. And not just any tomb, but one worthy of a man of his statue. Sure, it wasn't a giant steel pyramid, but that would come in time. For now, he needed some insurance to give him peace of mind in an uncertain world. Before the year was up, Fireblade was determined to be memorialized in a proper manner. While he was drawing up plans for his magnificent tomb, Fireblade noticed Grallon was enjoying his new quarters..

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And with that, summer is up, and autumn is here!

What was shaping up to be an uneventful autumn was shattered by a dastardly attack!

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WITH FIRE AND BLOOD I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE WHERE ARE MY DRAGONS GIVE ME MY DRAGONS WITH FIRE AND BLOOD AND DRAGONS GIVE ME MY DRAGONS I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE!!!!1

The miners were instantly ordered to construct furnaces and a forge. Boys, we're goin' hunting.

While the miners were busily constructing the Mengkadol War Machine, several new immigrants arrived.

- Lokum Amnekestan, a skilled miner. Useful indeed!
- Sigun Oltaranil, a novice butcher/cook/dyer. Not as useful.
- Another fucking child. Oh Grallon..
- Atis Tangathavuz, a soaper.. and marksdwarf!
- Logem Nekutlimul, an animal trainer/marksdwarf.
- And another child..
- Fuck, ToadyOne needs to turn down the number of children in migrant waves.
- ARE YOU SHITTING ME.
- That makes 5 in this wave.

This may well be the shittiest migrant wave I've ever gotten. Well, one of the dwarves will be happy indeed! And getting new quarters, too! In the meantime, the liquor supplies are getting low, so it's high time to build a still. Soon, the still was built, the dwarven wine was flowing, and the crisis was averted. However..

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My first moody dwarf! He claimed a mason's workshop, and claimed a piece of bituminous coal and a pile of yak bones. Uh, awesome. Meanwhile, the tomb was well under way..

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Oh, fuck. I forgot to make the fort accessable to wagons.  :XD: Oh well, I don't know those niggers anyway. In the meantime, the artifact was built and I know just the place for it!

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And with that, autumn is over, and winter was arrived in Winterfell Mengkadol.

Winter has arrived, and with it, the merchants. After fixing my little oopsie, trading commenced with the merchants from the mountainhome. Offering my collection of random shit I managed to make over the year, I received a collection of random shit that I don't really need, but I guess my successor Jaron might find useful. For some reason, the mountainhome really, REALLY wants cut gems, so Jaron.. you know what to give them. It's probably some new style of gay sex they've invented there. Are they pedazzling their cocks? Shoving them up their asses? The representative gave a very coy smile in my bedchamber, during our "negotiations". Perhaps I shall never know..

Either way, nothing much of import happened over the winter. A golden well was constructed, our food stocks have never been in better shape, and the defenses of the fort are shaping up nicely. However, all these other projects detracted from my TRUE goal.. finishing my mausoleum! It was a race against time.. would it be finished in time? Spring is coming fast, and the snow is already beginning to melt. Fear begins to mount in Fireblade's mind.. am I destined to rot away in a pauper's grave?

Mere days before the arrival of spring, the chief mason came to me, his face red and wet from hard labor. The fear mounted. Does it look stupid? Is it finished? With a shudder, Fireblade opened the door........

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"It's.. it's.. EVERYTHING I EVER DREAMED OF! HEIL HITLER!"

Spring is here! Jaron, it's all yours. :)

Chop chop, Jaron.

I think he'll play his turn tonight after he gets off work :)

If he doesn't, well, we'll have to find someone else. Speaking of which, who is interested in taking a turn after Jaron?

I could give it a whirl, either before or after Jaron.  I am working tonight then off until Tuesday so the earliest I could take a turn is ~24 hours from now.

I can probably take a turn. So far my schedule is pretty open, but that could (and hopefully will) change on a moments notice.

I'm a bit preoccupied with things - sbr if you want to take the next turn, be my guest. I can go after you, or whenever. :)

Well, here's the save, whichever one of you wants to take it on next. :)

http://www.sendspace.com/file/fov8ga

I think I've left the fort in pretty decent shape. I haven't made any moves to seriously start pursuing one industry over another or anything like that, so whoever picks it up will be pretty free to pursue whichever strategy they desire. Iron is in abundance, along with coal and tetrahedite. Have fun!

I will go now then.  Hopefully tonight.

My god, I hate keas.  :mad:

Quote from: MadImmortalMan on May 25, 2012, 03:42:42 PM
My god, I hate keas.  :mad:

Me too, fuck keas. :mad:

So I found this mod awhile back that adds 15 other hostile civilizations. Nagas, snakemen, war elephants, flying demons, and all sorts of crazy shit. You think goblin invasions are a threat? I was THANKFUL when goblins came. Some of these motherfuckers are nearly impossible to kill, even with full armor. Oh, and half of them have trap avoid. It's absolutely nuts. I played a couple of forts with it, the longest I lasted was building my fort on a map with a little peninsula with a fortified wall blocking everything off, and a metric fuckton of legendary archers behind it. The amount of blood, gore, and equipment on the other side got ridiculous after a few seasons. I think it fell when some flying archer things in steel armor came and murdered my army. Even the ones in max steel armor with a nice candy coating. Everyone inside my fort went berserk, preventing me from throwing the panic lever that put everything on lockdown. Oops.

I'm considering AARing a fort while playing that mod. It should be an entertaining read. :)

Yeah, fuck keas.

Alrighty then, it is sbr the Farmer's turn to run this place for a year.

The first thing I did was to hire a new decorator and designer for the place (I am using Phoebus' tileset)

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Here is the situation on 1 Granite 75.

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The first problem is the lack of information, also 4 miners is way too many right now.

The second problem is the complete lack of a military.

I took one of the useless dwarfs from the last migration wave and made him a civil servant, he is bookkeeper and manager.  I made him an office in one of the empty rooms in the workshop area.  He will get me an accurate count of what we have and where it is.  He will also help to automate tasks, I won't have to search the fort to find each hidden workshop.

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There are only 2 dwarfs with any military experience (one a miner, the other one of the stonecrafters) so they are the new military.  They will be training in the new barracks I had built near the entrance.

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The next problem is that our underground trade depot is inaccessible to wagons for some reason.  The only thing I can think of is the traps in the hallway, the problem is around there somewhere.  I am having a new tunnel dug to allow the wagons to avoid the traps to see if that works.  If it does we will need to rethink the Depot location.

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We are also well on our way to a catsplosion.  To remedy this I have all of the unowned male cats and kittens in the fort set to be butchered (sorry Seedy).  I will leave a couple of female cats around to hunt and kill vermin.  This is probably backwards, I should have left the males alive but oh well it is too late now.

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I have one more project that was started in the early spring, a new bedroom wing.  There are enough beds that no one has to sleep on the floor, but only 1 or 2 dwarfs have their own room.  Hopefully we can change that.

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It is no wonder the keas are stealing shit, there is still stuff sitting out in the front yard on the wagon from when we arrived a year ago.

While tinkering with stockpiles to get the rest of the stuff we brought inside and off the wagon and out of the trade depot we had another wave of migrants show up on the 20th of Slate.

32 new dwarfs, 11 of which are kids or babies to go with the 9 kids already running around this place.    We now have 55 dwarfs and 20 of them are kids.  I am going to have to talk to the Brewer about slipping whore pills into the booze supply from here on out.

There were a few decent dwarfs in the wave including:

Great Gem Cutter
Great Dyer
Great Wax Worker
Great Armorsmith
Adequate Leatherworker
Adequate Weaponsmith
Adequate Engraver

I will get these to work doing what they do best except the Wax Worker.  We don't have any bees yet and he is one of only 3 new dwarfs with military experience.  A bunch of the rest of the riff-raff will be drafted into the military as well.

I remember why I don't like succession games.  I am way too particular about things in this game.  I have spent a few hours dicking around with new migrants labor preferences and stockpile settings and have only had a month pass in game; it's gonna take me a week to finish my turn at this rate.

Suck it up and just pass a half-assed attempt to the next guy.

This one is a real snoozer. One wonders why FB tries so hard to bring racism and homosexuals into every story he tells.

In the new patch, a trade wagon cannot pass through traps. Your best bet would be to make a small fortified area with a trade area, with a raising bridge and a door into your fortress: you leave the door closed and the bridge lowered until the traders settle in. You then raise the bridge and open the door, to let your dwarves trade... it's pretty safe...

Quote from: Alexandru H. on May 27, 2012, 09:01:39 AM
In the new patch, a trade wagon cannot pass through traps. Your best bet would be to make a small fortified area with a trade area, with a raising bridge and a door into your fortress: you leave the door closed and the bridge lowered until the traders settle in. You then raise the bridge and open the door, to let your dwarves trade... it's pretty safe...

Yeah I already had figured that out but thanks.  I have done something similar, maybe I will add some of your ideas.

By the way hauling really is borked in this release.  I just had 2 dwarfs each carry a full Gem Bin across the fort (slowly) drop the bin on the ground and each dwarf put one gem in each bin and walked away.

Then 2 separate dwarfs came behind with wheelbarrows and took the bins back to the stockpile.  :lol:  The idea is close but it needs some tweaking.

The latest patches are skewed towards using minecarts. Which I don't like since it pushes the whole DF into an "Industrial Age" type of game.

Quote from: Alexandru H. on May 27, 2012, 02:00:14 PM
The latest patches are skewed towards using minecarts. Which I don't like since it pushes the whole DF into an "Industrial Age" type of game.

Yeah, I haven't built any of those yet and I am sure they would speed things up a bit.  It is mostly the logic of carry heavy container to item and leave it for someone else to take back.  Along with taking the items that the productive dwarfs need to do their jobs with them.

I am trying to figure out the best way to work this.  The biggest problems, for me, are with the Gems and seeds.  The containers with stuff in them keep getting moved which causes job cancellation message spam because the seed/gem the farmer/gem cutter needs is suddenly not where it is supposed to be.  Building a mine cart route for seeds seems a bit overkill and gems are dug out all over the place; I would need to put tracks everywhere.  I guess some "receive from anywhere" stockpiles around the major digging sites that don't use containers that are linked to dedicated stockpiles near the workshops that use bins and Take from the remote piles and only give to the specific workshop is the way to go.  I don't know if gems are heavy enough to need carts or if wheelbarrow are enough.

That will require a pretty major redesign and construction of the workshop area in this fort, things are pretty crammed together at the moment.

So things continue to be Unglorious and Unbloody here in Mengkadol.

I spent most of the time fighting unfamiliar game mechanics and the horribly cramped initial design trying to get the fort to some level of productivity, self-sufficiency and able to defend themselves with a military.

It didn't help that over a 7-8 month span the fort's population went from 14 adults and 9 children to 53 adults and 30 kids.

I continued work in the new bedroom wing, trying to get a bed and cabinet in each room and assigning them to dwarfs.  I also built some new traps at the entrance to the fort, a set of cage traps in front of the existing stone fall traps and a set of weapons traps with all of the serrated discs we had lying around the corner.

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I also started work on a new Dining Room.  Like everything else around here the current one is too small, cramped and just not good enough.

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I tried to rework the existing Trade Depot but I think we are going to have to consider an outside Depot unless my successor can come up with something better than I did.

I dug a new entrance into the fort with ramps down to the second level, where the Depot is

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Down below I walled the Depot off to seal it off from the rest of the fort, except for 2 floodgates that are connected to a lever, allowing the floodgates to be opened when the dwarfs need access to the Depot.

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The problem is, is that hauling is so slow that the floodgates end up being open almost the entire time, making them useless and leaving an unprotected opening in the fort.  As long as wagons can't get past traps we may need to trade outside.

I also built some nest boxes and hives to give the dwarfs some nice choices for breakfast.

There have been 2 dwarfs taken by moods so far this year.  One was a Stonecrafter and the other a Cook; we got Legendary Stonecrafter and Legendary Bone Carver out of the deal.

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The Elf and Human Trade caravans were not very exciting either, I unloaded a mess of stone crafts and cut gems for some food and other boring things.  That does remind me of one thing, that Master Gem Cutter is great, 3 earrings he made bought everything I wanted from the Humans.

The Dwarven Trading Caravan showed up in Late Autumn like always.  As as usual they were followed by a force of Vile darkness.

The goblins appeared, and they brought Glory and Blood with them.

After getting a fuckton of food and some other necessities from the Dwarven traders we worked out an export agreement.

Here is what the Dwarven Traders want next year:

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A lot of that should be pretty easy to produce.  I didn't ask for much from them, we are pretty self sufficient at this point and they bring tons of shit anyway.  No point in paying a premium on stuff them will have with them either way.  I did ask for some flux stone as I haven't seen any here yet and steel is always fun and useful.  I also asked for a breeding pair of a few species of livestock since all of ours seems to have died somehow.  It is possible they need to eat and can't live forever in cages anymore.

While this was going on the goblins had invaded.

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At this point I had 4 squads of 3 dwarfs each, 3 melee and one of archers.  I attempted to gather my armies at the front gate and prepare for battle.  Since they are idiotic dwarfs and I don't know what buttons to push it ended up a massacre.  And in the bad way for our side.  The marksdwarfs didn't have any bolts in their quivers and the melee dwarfs kept running at the pack of gobbos piecemeal and got picked off in small groups.  I thought the entire fledgling military was doomed but somehow Kivish, the Captain of the Guard swooped in and kicked some goblin ass.  He singlehandedly killed 6 goblins and the rest broke and fled, ending the siege.  We lost 7 dwarfs and a newborn baby who had been carried into battle by her mother.

None of the 7 founders were in the military so they were safe, but all 7 that died were from the second and third migration waves.  At this point 2 dwarfs who had lost parents in the battle started to throw tantrums.  One was still a child, the other had appeared as a child but had since come of age.  The older one has the Attend Meeting job so I used the nifty new way of locking the camera onto him and followed him*.  The Peasant stormed into the Mayor's office and immediately grabbed a stone that had been left from the mining and threw it across the room.  Unfortunately it didn't hit anything.  He then attacked the Mayor, punching him in the chest, in the upper right leg, then scratched him on the foot.  At that point he calmed down and the Mayor ran off to report the crime to someone.  Nothing ever came of it though.  The child calmed down without incident and the tantrum spiral was adverted.

While I was waiting and looking for more tantrums I found something good.  I knew the Dining Room was way too small, and the children were always throwing parties in there but I hadn't really paid much attention to it.  Here is what the Dining Room looked like 24 hours a day the entire year.

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It was even more crowded than that.  A lot of those tile have dwarfs and multiple animals.  It is about this same time that I went to look at the combat reports for the battle and realized there was a riot going on inside the Dining Room.

All of these are from the Dining Room right after the battle

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There are more but this is all that fit on one page.


*This is pretty neat, it makes it easy to catch a lot that might have been missed before.  Of course you have to know its coming. 

The main culprit seems to be a stray war dog that kept biting people and animals.  No one was hurt but I ended the party by removing all of teh furniture and moving it downstairs to the new Dining Room.

And finally to top off the year the Weaponsmith entered a mood, claimed a Forge and crafted an artifact Battleaxe.  Unfortunately it was a possession so the Smith didn't gain Legendary status.

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Save here

http://www.sendspace.com/file/kfbips