Languish.org

Inspired by a recent thread.   Just out of curiosity.  My parents did, but very rarely.  I wasn't one to cause a lot of problems and not past 10 at the very latest.  I mostly remember them mother spanking my brother.  He always got into trouble.  Still it didn't happen often, and not ever past the time he was out of elementary school.  I don't think it ever happened to my little sister.

And in classic form, I probably spelled something wrong but don't know it yet.  Ah well. :(

I lived in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down t' mill, fourteen hours a day, week-in week-out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home our Dad would thrash us to sleep wi' his belt.

Oh so that was you in that tank.  I always wondered what the racket was.

MIM got to eat the crust.  Luxury!  I would dream of getting the crust.

One percenters.  :rolleyes:

Well WE had it tough. There were 150 of us in my family and we lived in a shoebox in the middle of the road. I had to get up out of it at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

Quote from: Martim Silva on November 23, 2011, 10:00:27 PM
Well WE had it tough. There were 150 of us in my family and we lived in a shoebox in the middle of the road. I had to get up out of it at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

:yeahright:

Yes.  Every day, my parents would check my school stationary.  If a pencil went missing, I would be spanked. 

Quote from: DGuller on November 23, 2011, 10:08:23 PM

Quote from: Martim Silva on November 23, 2011, 10:00:27 PM
Well WE had it tough. There were 150 of us in my family and we lived in a shoebox in the middle of the road. I had to get up out of it at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

:yeahright:

...same skit.

I'm curious if anyone here is serious.  The Poll results do show that several of you were physically punished in your younger years.

Quote from: Razgovory on November 23, 2011, 11:01:43 PM
I'm curious if anyone here is serious.

QuotePosted by: Monoriu 
Yes.  Every day, my parents would check my school stationary.  If a pencil went missing, I would be spanked.   

I am serious.

Edit: oh and, my parents don't belong to the 99%.  They can buy truckloads of pencils :lol:

I was smacked as a child.  I think it's healthy, every kid should be slapped by their mum or dad at least once.  Otherwise they'll grow up like Martinus :( :P

Of course I wasn't.

CP is great in a sexual context. Parents are not.

Yep. My mom was basically crazier than Raz, and routinely thought nothing of beating the holy shit out of us. She would lose her temper and basically go crazy trying to hit us as hard as she could, with whatever was to hand.

Now, my older brothers did much to deserve a good beating, and have turned out amazingly well - I think my oldest brother is in prison in California right now for a parole violation, and my other brother is a drug addict as well, although he is barely smart enough to mostly keep out of jail. Needless to say, I have nothing to do with either of them, and as little to do with my mother as absolutely possible - although not so much because of how she treated us as kids, but because she is still pretty much out of touch with reality and a amazingly unpleasant person to be around most of the time.

But I can say pretty honestly that my mother was generally abusive, and when she was in her depressive modes, was (in hindsight) genuinely dangerous.

Sorry Berkut. :(

Quote from: Berkut on November 24, 2011, 01:01:33 AM
Yep. My mom was basically crazier than Raz, and routinely thought nothing of beating the holy shit out of us. She would lose her temper and basically go crazy trying to hit us as hard as she could, with whatever was to hand.

Now, my older brothers did much to deserve a good beating, and have turned out amazingly well - I think my oldest brother is in prison in California right now for a parole violation, and my other brother is a drug addict as well, although he is barely smart enough to mostly keep out of jail. Needless to say, I have nothing to do with either of them, and as little to do with my mother as absolutely possible - although not so much because of how she treated us as kids, but because she is still pretty much out of touch with reality and a amazingly unpleasant person to be around most of the time.

But I can say pretty honestly that my mother was generally abusive, and when she was in her depressive modes, was (in hindsight) genuinely dangerous.

Shit, berk, sorry. :( :console:


I got a good hindsight thrashing with a wooden spoon a few times as a little kid, I think the last time as first grader? when I did something I wasn't supposed to (usually when I snatched something from my parents, or snuck into their stuff and broke something). Never after that, though I remember getting smacked over the back of my head when I was ten or so, because my father didn't like me cracking my knuckles. :lol:

Not as such, no.

I have been smacked on my ass or ear maybe two or three times, as far as I remember, when I was insufferable and my mom just lost it, but there was no corporeal punishment "policy" in my childhood.

Also I remember my dad tried to spank me once but I was faster than him, ran away and went to my mom to tell my side of the story and got them to have an argument.  :goodboy:

Quote from: Sheilbh on November 23, 2011, 11:59:56 PM
I was smacked as a child.  I think it's healthy, every kid should be slapped by their mum or dad at least once.  Otherwise they'll grow up like Martinus :( :P

Et tu Brute? What the fuck was that?

Same as Marti really, a couple of slaps from an exhausted parent when I was being a pain and other things were going badly too. I don't think there is any need for it, any reasonably competent parent can summon sufficient gravitas to keep a kid in line. Mind you, how many parents are reasonably competent  :hmm: ?

Barely. I was talking to my dad about this the other day. He said "I remember smacking you and when I saw the red hand mark on the back of your little legs I vowed never to do it again." After that I used to get sent to my room.

After a while I self disciplined. According to my parents I used to say, "I'm going to have a temper now" and go off to the other room to have a strop.

I've seen no correlating evidence among friends and acquaintances between how they were disciplined and the type of adult they turned into.

Once that I recall. Can't recall why though, so no lasting effect :D

V

Yes altho my father was really good at making me scared of the punishment so he didn't actually have to do it.

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:01:09 AM

Quote from: Sheilbh on November 23, 2011, 11:59:56 PM
I was smacked as a child.  I think it's healthy, every kid should be slapped by their mum or dad at least once.  Otherwise they'll grow up like Martinus :( :P

Et tu Brute? What the fuck was that?

I believe he's calling you a pansy.

Quote from: Razgovory on November 23, 2011, 11:01:43 PM
I'm curious if anyone here is serious.  The Poll results do show that several of you were physically punished in your younger years.

Oh, I'm serious.  Spanking was a relatively common punishment in my house growing up.  My parents never lost their temper or anything, mind you, so not an abusive situation.

shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

I don't remember ever getting hit by my parents, but it is possible. 

I do remember getting hit with a wooden spoon by the babysitter when I was less than 5 years old and refusing to cry.  Also when I was 9, my 5 year old brother threw a toy at me because I wouldn't go get him a blanket from the scary room downstairs.  The toy hit me in the face and broke one of my front teeth in half, once my parents found out what happened my dad drug my brother into his room and from what I could hear I am pretty sure he got smacked around pretty good.

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on November 24, 2011, 01:51:00 PM
shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

I suppose, though I'm pretty old, and I wasn't spanked or hit as a kid.

Nor do I spank or hit mine, though I am tempted to sometimes!  :lol: The kid often reminds me of Calvin from Calvin & Hobbes - you will be telling him something and he'll simply zone out into his own world where he's a 50' tall Samurai warrior with a laser sword fighting dinosaurs or something MUCH more interesting than what you have to say, like "don't put your hand on the hot stove", "you have to learn to spell these words for school", or "please hold my hand while we are crossing this busy street' - smacking him upside the head just so he pays attention can be awfully attractive. But I don't do it.

That said, giving a 5 year old a smack to remind him to stay in the present world and pay attention is worlds away from waling on a teenager with a belt in a fit of rage.

Not infrequently. There were all sorts of unspoken "rules" about it that I found out as I grew older. Spanking while angry was verboten, for example.

Quote from: Malthus on November 24, 2011, 02:18:24 PM

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on November 24, 2011, 01:51:00 PM
shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

That said, giving a 5 year old a smack to remind him to stay in the present world and pay attention is worlds away from waling on a teenager with a belt in a fit of rage.

This is something I find a weird. There was no habit of it but when I was 16 if my father tried to beat me with his belt, I would have fought back.

Quote from: Grey Fox on November 24, 2011, 02:33:03 PM

Quote from: Malthus on November 24, 2011, 02:18:24 PM

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on November 24, 2011, 01:51:00 PM
shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

That said, giving a 5 year old a smack to remind him to stay in the present world and pay attention is worlds away from waling on a teenager with a belt in a fit of rage.

This is something I find a weird. There was no habit of it but when I was 16 if my father tried to beat me with his belt, I would have fought back.

I suppose it helps if your kid is a chronically ill girl, like the one in the video of the Texan Judge.  :D

Quote from: Grey Fox on November 24, 2011, 06:59:24 AM
Yes altho my father was really good at making me scared of the punishment so he didn't actually have to do it.

Thinking back, I certainly remember being threatened with the wooden spoon, but I don't remember ever being hit with it. :hmm:

As far as disciplinary measures go, my wife has adopted one of threatening the kid with telling me about his misbehaviours when I get back. It seems the mere threat of this causes him much anxiety, though lord knows why - as I said, I don't physically punish him. He just doesn't like it hanging over him.

Well so far we're having great success with time outs in the crib - he screams like the dickens for a minute, but ocne he's quiet for just a few seconds we go and get him, and he's so relieved to see us again that whatever tantrum was going on was averted.

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on November 24, 2011, 01:51:00 PM
shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

The poll question is posed in a retarded way. Hardly any parent does not spank the kid EVER. I guess the OP was spanked too much on the head.

Quote from: Barrister on November 24, 2011, 03:55:34 PM
Well so far we're having great success with time outs in the crib - he screams like the dickens for a minute, but ocne he's quiet for just a few seconds we go and get him, and he's so relieved to see us again that whatever tantrum was going on was averted.

Time-outs work great until about 5 or so. Then, not so much. I find taking away toys & privileges works better now.

Mind you, Carl's a great kid. He's never mean-spirited or willfully nasty, and hardly ever gets angry - tantrums were never common with him and are now a thing of the past. Almost invariably, his transgressions involve him not paying attention, or wanting to play with something rather than do what he's been told, or weedling and whining about wanting something. 

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:01:00 PM
The poll question is posed in a retarded way. Hardly any parent does not spank the kid EVER.

Maybe in Poland. In a civilized country like Sweden normal people don't spank their kids.

Quote from: Maximus on November 24, 2011, 02:30:46 PM
Not infrequently. There were all sorts of unspoken "rules" about it that I found out as I grew older. Spanking while angry was verboten, for example.

I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:01:00 PM

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on November 24, 2011, 01:51:00 PM
shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

The poll question is posed in a retarded way. Hardly any parent does not spank the kid EVER. I guess the OP was spanked too much on the head.

How would you phrase it then?  Most kids aren't spanked every day.

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM

Quote from: Maximus on November 24, 2011, 02:30:46 PM
Not infrequently. There were all sorts of unspoken "rules" about it that I found out as I grew older. Spanking while angry was verboten, for example.

I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

IMagine most people would believe the reverse.

Quote from: BuddhaRhubarb on November 24, 2011, 01:51:00 PM
shocking to see that a large percentage of Languishites were thrashed as children... then again, I think that just means we are old.

I think being old has something to do with it.  It was really going out of style when I was growing up.

As you can imagine, sending me to my room never really worked for me.

"Go to your room young man!",

"Hooray!  I don't have to be outside anymore!".

Usually I didn't need to be punished, since I always felt guilty about things.  Very guilty, even to the point I would feel guilty if I hadn't done something wrong.    I do remember the time I lit the backyard on fire, I felt bad about that.

Quote from: Malthus on November 24, 2011, 03:52:01 PM
As far as disciplinary measures go, my wife has adopted one of threatening the kid with telling me about his misbehaviours when I get back. It seems the mere threat of this causes him much anxiety, though lord knows why - as I said, I don't physically punish him. He just doesn't like it hanging over him.

I recall a survey that a young teacher gave our class, back when I was 10. The most feared punishment, by far, was for the teacher to inform our parents about our misdeeds. This was back in the 60s, fairly severe lashing with a leather strap was also an option (also the least feared). I think that the threat of a united front of disapproval was the chief worry, so worrying that most people would adjust their behaviour appropriately  :hmm:

I think it is quite a severe punishment btw, children prefer the immediate punishment and rapid return to normality, I've used it myself of course, but sparingly.

Quote from: Richard Hakluyt on November 24, 2011, 05:14:02 PM
I recall a survey that a young teacher gave our class, back when I was 10. The most feared punishment, by far, was for the teacher to inform our parents about our misdeeds. This was back in the 60s, fairly severe lashing with a leather strap was also an option (also the least feared). I think that the threat of a united front of disapproval was the chief worry, so worrying that most people would adjust their behaviour appropriately  :hmm:

I think it is the fact it isn't over but hangs over him like a dark cloud.

But yeah, he hates it.

QuoteI think it is quite a severe punishment btw, children prefer the immediate punishment and rapid return to normality, I've used it myself of course, but sparingly.

Yes, she uses it only for major transgressions (well, major by his standards) - that is, infrequently.

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM

Quote from: Maximus on November 24, 2011, 02:30:46 PM
Not infrequently. There were all sorts of unspoken "rules" about it that I found out as I grew older. Spanking while angry was verboten, for example.

I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

You can condone people hitting their kids in when they lose their temper.  I would hope most people are not like you.

We are lucky that most people are not like Martinus.

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:01:09 AM

Quote from: Sheilbh on November 23, 2011, 11:59:56 PM
I was smacked as a child.  I think it's healthy, every kid should be slapped by their mum or dad at least once.  Otherwise they'll grow up like Martinus :( :P

Et tu Brute? What the fuck was that?

Occassionally attention whore-ish only child.

Quote from: crazy canuck on November 24, 2011, 06:07:45 PM

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM
I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

You can condone people hitting their kids in when they lose their temper.  I would hope most people are not like you.

He specifically said he wouldn't condone it.  Was your post a troll, or do you simply have no ability to comprehend written English?

I hope most posters here are not like you.

Quote from: The Brain on November 24, 2011, 04:03:02 PM

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:01:00 PM
The poll question is posed in a retarded way. Hardly any parent does not spank the kid EVER.

Maybe in Poland. In a civilized country like Sweden normal people don't spank their kids.

Well certain segments of our society are pretty good at beating the everliving crap out of their kids.

That's why they call it Stockholm syndrome.

Quote from: grumbler on November 27, 2011, 12:46:14 PM

Quote from: crazy canuck on November 24, 2011, 06:07:45 PM

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM
I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

You can condone people hitting their kids in when they lose their temper.  I would hope most people are not like you.

He specifically said he wouldn't condone it.  Was your post a troll, or do you simply have no ability to comprehend written English?

I hope most posters here are not like you.

Whether or not he condones hitting your kids when you lose you temper, doing so if far than spanking them without anger.  Hitting while angry can all too easily slip into abuse (indeed, by saying "hitting" rather than "spanking" in this context at least implies striking with a fist, which IMO goes over the line on the face of it), while spanking while calm is a useful, nonabusive disciplinary tool.

Quote from: dps on November 27, 2011, 05:51:28 PM

Quote from: grumbler on November 27, 2011, 12:46:14 PM

Quote from: crazy canuck on November 24, 2011, 06:07:45 PM

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM
I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

You can condone people hitting their kids in when they lose their temper.  I would hope most people are not like you.

He specifically said he wouldn't condone it.  Was your post a troll, or do you simply have no ability to comprehend written English?

I hope most posters here are not like you.

Whether or not he condones hitting your kids when you lose you temper, doing so if far than spanking them without anger.  Hitting while angry can all too easily slip into abuse (indeed, by saying "hitting" rather than "spanking" in this context at least implies striking with a fist, which IMO goes over the line on the face of it), while spanking while calm is a useful, nonabusive disciplinary tool.

Why are you talking about "hitting" considering I never used the word?  :huh:

And what I meant (which I thought was pretty clear, but I guess this forum has too many idiots) is that I could never understand deliberate, calm use of physical violence against the kid - the kind you call a "disciplinary tool". This is pretty psychopathic to even consider hurting your own child like that.

I can see a parent losing his or her temper on an exceptional occasion and just lightly smacking (the word I used by the way) the kid on the ear, even if I would find it a failure on behalf of the parent to keep his or her cool. But such a failure is human (which is exactly what I think is meant by the expression "I understand if not condone"), whereas the one where you deliberately, and in a cold blood, use physical violence against your child, is inexcusable.

In short: using physical violence against a child is bad. But there is a difference between a "crime of passion" and a "premeditated crime" - and that's how I see the difference between both cases I described.

Quote from: Martinus on November 27, 2011, 06:05:53 PM

Quote from: dps on November 27, 2011, 05:51:28 PM

Quote from: grumbler on November 27, 2011, 12:46:14 PM

Quote from: crazy canuck on November 24, 2011, 06:07:45 PM

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM
I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

You can condone people hitting their kids in when they lose their temper.  I would hope most people are not like you.

He specifically said he wouldn't condone it.  Was your post a troll, or do you simply have no ability to comprehend written English?

I hope most posters here are not like you.

Whether or not he condones hitting your kids when you lose you temper, doing so if far than spanking them without anger.  Hitting while angry can all too easily slip into abuse (indeed, by saying "hitting" rather than "spanking" in this context at least implies striking with a fist, which IMO goes over the line on the face of it), while spanking while calm is a useful, nonabusive disciplinary tool.

Why are you talking about "hitting" considering I never used the word?  :huh:

Crazy Canuck said "hitting", not you.  Sorry 'bout that;  I let his spin on you comment affect my view of what you actually posted.

QuoteAnd what I meant (which I thought was pretty clear, but I guess this forum has too many idiots) is that I could never understand deliberate, calm use of physical violence against the kid - the kind you call a "disciplinary tool". This is pretty psychopathic to even consider hurting your own child like that.

I can see a parent losing his or her temper on an exceptional occasion and just lightly smacking (the word I used by the way) the kid on the ear, even if I would find it a failure on behalf of the parent to keep his or her cool. But such a failure is human (which is exactly what I think is meant by the expression "I understand if not condone"), whereas the one where you deliberately, and in a cold blood, use physical violence against your child, is inexcusable.

In short: using physical violence against a child is bad. But there is a difference between a "crime of passion" and a "premeditated crime" - and that's how I see the difference between both cases I described.

Clearly I disagree that the use of corporal punishment against a child is bad. 

Quote from: crazy canuck on November 24, 2011, 06:07:45 PM

Quote from: Martinus on November 24, 2011, 04:05:11 PM

Quote from: Maximus on November 24, 2011, 02:30:46 PM
Not infrequently. There were all sorts of unspoken "rules" about it that I found out as I grew older. Spanking while angry was verboten, for example.

I guess for people who do not believe in violence against children (like me) this is worse. I can understand, if not condone, giving in to a temptation of a heated moment and smacking a kid who is insufferable. On the other hand, the cold and calculated corporeal punishment is monstrous and inhuman.

You can condone people hitting their kids in when they lose their temper.  I would hope most people are not like you.

I suppose I see his point.  Premeditating violence against other people is often considered worse than losing one's temper in day-to-day life--imagine if the question was "Do you ever hold a knife to your friends' throats?" and you said "Only when I plan it out ahead of time"--but Mart's mistake is approaching the subject from the point of view that corporal punishment is by necessity an antisocial act, regardless of motivation, and with the assumption that the violence is an end in itself, neither of which is true.

I received corporal punishment as a kid.  I'd probably do the same, but I wouldn't spank, I'd smack in the face or head.  Spanking just seems weird to me.

Quote from: MartinusIn short: using physical violence against a child is bad. But there is a difference between a "crime of passion" and a "premeditated crime" - and that's how I see the difference between both cases I described.

See?  I guess the abyss stares also. :P

'switches'.

That'll teach 'em.