Ok, how long into a relationship would you expect to get to know friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend. This is not technically an advice thread - I just wanted to see what people find acceptable in this respect (because I got such varying responses from "real life" people).
Normally before they became my girlfriend. But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.
I've ended up in some uncomfortable situations that way before, and now I never agree to socialise with the friends of hookers.
Five dates or so.
At any point that you become exclusive, you should have no problem introducing them to your friends. You don't have to go out of your way to do so however.
I think it would depend on the types of friends involved. Does the boyfriend/girlfriend spends tons of time with these people (as in the show Friends) or are they friends they do things with infrequently? Is the boyfriend/girlfriend leaving you behind to spend time with them (a warning sign)?
If they are close friends they spend lots of time with than I would want to meet them as soon as possible. If they are unwilling to meet me or my bf/gf is unwilling to introduce me than something is not right about the situation. If they are friends who my bf/gf spends infrequent time with than I meet them when I meet them, perhaps suggesting throwing a dinner party to invite them to.
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend. But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.
Woah. I would never date people who know my friends or I know their friends. Talk about social disaster if the relationship goes south. Do not shit where you eat. Drama city.
Also the reason why I keep my friends away from my girlfriends before I decided it was going to be a serious relationship. So a few months I guess.
Quote from: Berkut on June 15, 2011, 01:17:46 PM
At any point that you become exclusive, you should have no problem introducing them to your friends. You don't have to go out of your way to do so however.
Yep.
Don't meet the friends until AFTER the girlfriend status is achieved.
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately. To be honest I've found it a rather big cause for concern... but then I started talking to my work friends in similar relationships (rather big age difference, only heterosexual) and they have the same thing going.
Could be lawyers are fucked up.
Also, I started to mention this, but at the same time I don't want to appear too needy/paranoid/nosy.
Fuck, this has become an advice thread. :P
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately.
Not only is that ok, it's essential. Go with it.
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately.
Very normal. In fact highly recomended.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 15, 2011, 01:28:52 PM
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:26:13 PM
I'm just wondering how normal is it to both of you have different friends with whom each of you spend time separately.
Not only is that ok, it's essential. Go with it.
Ok but what about dodging the question / idea of introducing/meeting each other's friends? It begins to sound dodgy. Like there is something to hide. :ph34r:
Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?
Ive met most of my girlfriend friends & other then exploring the possibilities of threesomes, I have nothing in common with any of them.
I'm married now, so it isn't topical for me but back when it applied:
Whenever it pops up naturally.
E.g.: we agreed to hang out on Friday, but there's a show I want to go to. The obvious solution is to bring the girl and if any of my friends are there they'll meet her and vice versa.
If my friends are doing something that the girl might enjoy and it's not an "just for us old friends" type thing, I'll invite the girl along whether she's someone I'm courting, someone I'm non-comittally seeing or someone I'm in a committed relationship with (unless there are strong reasons not to, but that would usually mean that the relationship is going nowhere).
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:30:48 PMOk but what about dodging the question / idea of introducing/meeting each other's friends? It begins to sound dodgy. Like there is something to hide. :ph34r:
Just bring him along some time when other people are bringing their partners too - like to a birthday party or a dinner or something.
No need to dodge it or make a big deal about it either way, IMO.
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 01:34:12 PM
Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?
Ive met most of my girlfriend friends & other then exploring the possibilities of threesomes, I have nothing in common with any of them.
I would like to meet them. I find the fact that I haven't met any of them rather weird. Anyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in (I suppose it's a bit different from "normal" then).
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:10:46 PM
Ok, how long into a relationship would you expect to get to know friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend. This is not technically an advice thread - I just wanted to see what people find acceptable in this respect (because I got such varying responses from "real life" people).
depends wich friends and where they are.
If her good friends are in another city, I'd say a few months.
If she has friends nearby, I'd say a couple of weeks.
Anyway, the first few weeks in a relationship are spent fucking, no room for friends there.
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:37:16 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 01:34:12 PM
Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?
Ive met most of my girlfriend friends & other then exploring the possibilities of threesomes, I have nothing in common with any of them.
I would like to meet them. I find the fact that I haven't met any of them rather weird. Anyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in (I suppose it's a bit different from "normal" then).
dated a girl 10 years younger than me, last year. Worst mistake of my life. Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
I wasn't really bothered by not meeting her friends, but I never expected this relation to become serious, so I might not be the best one to give advice :D
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
dated a girl 10 years younger last year. Worst mistake of my life. Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
If you did not expect the relation to become serious with that
ho golddigger, why did you waste 2,000 bucks on her?
The spending should have been a clue...
[crazycanuck]Was she a hooker?[/crazycanuck]
Oh he's younger.
You should make a point of meeting them but be prepared for the fact that you are old the geizer that will be seen as the dad of the group.
He doesn't want his friends fucking up his chances with you. He'll wait until things are more stable. No big deal, IMO.
Quote from: Drakken on June 15, 2011, 01:42:25 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
dated a girl 10 years younger last year. Worst mistake of my life. Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
If you did not expect the relation to become serious with that ho golddigger, why did you waste 2,000 bucks on her?
The spending should have been a clue...
Still seems very cheap.
$2k in two months seems pretty excessive, unless you went on a vacation.
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
:o
Quote from: Caliga on June 15, 2011, 02:54:06 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
:o
You just walked out on Cal's fantasy come true :P
Quote from: Valmy on June 15, 2011, 01:21:56 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend. But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.
Woah. I would never date people who know my friends or I know their friends. Talk about social disaster if the relationship goes south. Do not shit where you eat. Drama city.
Also the reason why I keep my friends away from my girlfriends before I decided it was going to be a serious relationship. So a few months I guess.
Back in the day it would have been very difficult to date someone to the point of becoming their boyfriend/girlfriend without coming into contact with their friends since the main method of meeting people was through actual social contact. These days it seems that is not as necessary as I am told that internet dating is all the rage.
It doesn't mean people only dated people who knew their friends. It means that within the first few dates and by the time they became an item it was almost impossible not to get to know their friends to some extent. However, I recognize the world is now a different place.
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 03:13:35 PM
[Back in the day it would have been very difficult to date someone to the point of becoming their boyfriend/girlfriend without coming into contact with their friends since the main method of meeting people was through actual social contact.
That is why I would take classes and do things away from my friends. Granted internet dating was still alot quicker and easier. Dating for the lazy man.
Quote from: Drakken on June 15, 2011, 01:42:25 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
dated a girl 10 years younger last year. Worst mistake of my life. Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
If you did not expect the relation to become serious with that ho golddigger, why did you waste 2,000 bucks on her?
The spending should have been a clue...
Yes, it should have. But it's a long story. And not for this part of the forum.
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:42:45 PM
[crazycanuck]Was she a hooker?[/crazycanuck]
A hooker would probably have been cheaper.
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 15, 2011, 01:50:30 PM
He doesn't want his friends fucking up his chances with you. He'll wait until things are more stable. No big deal, IMO.
I think he doesn't want Marty to fuck his friends, period.
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 03:37:53 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on June 15, 2011, 01:50:30 PM
He doesn't want his friends fucking up his chances with you. He'll wait until things are more stable. No big deal, IMO.
I think he doesn't want Marty to fuck his friends, period.
He of all people should know that the risk is fucking close to zero.
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 03:36:36 PM
Quote from: Drakken on June 15, 2011, 01:42:25 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
dated a girl 10 years younger last year. Worst mistake of my life. Never met her friends, spent two months with her, spent a little more than 2000$ in various things, and last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
If you did not expect the relation to become serious with that ho golddigger, why did you waste 2,000 bucks on her?
The spending should have been a clue...
Yes, it should have. But it's a long story. And not for this part of the forum.
Considering the high standards that TBR are held to, I would probably not consider any part of the forum.
I might start seeing someone that I wouldn't want anyone to meet.
Quote from: Valmy on June 15, 2011, 03:06:43 PM
Quote from: Caliga on June 15, 2011, 02:54:06 PM
Quote from: viper37 on June 15, 2011, 01:40:06 PM
last time we spoke the words "gift" and "breast implants" were in the same conversation, so I freaked out and left never to return.
:o
You just walked out on Cal's fantasy come true :P
Were the implants made of gravy? :mmm:
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:37:16 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 01:34:12 PM
Do you just want to meet them or also start hanging out with them?
I would like to meet them. I find the fact that I haven't met any of them rather weird. Anyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in (I suppose it's a bit different from "normal" then).
You meet 'em when you meet 'em. It's normal for both people to have their own friends. But if your S.O. is actively resisting the idea of you meeting their friends, there may be a problem. Or maybe not. Back when I was dating SocialWorkerGirl, for the most part she had no problem with me meeting her friends, but there were a couple of guys that had sort of been substitute big brothers for her (she was an only child)--nothing romantic, but they were guys she'd know since she was a little kid who had kind of looked out for her when they were in school--and she was afraid that they'd be hostile towards me because of the age difference. When I finally did meet them, there was no problem--I don't know that I'd say that they necessarily liked me, but they saw that I was an OK guy and treated her decently, so they didn't have any problem with me at least.
So this is, in fact, an advice thread for Marcin.
Quote from: Martinus on June 15, 2011, 01:10:46 PM
Ok, how long into a relationship would you expect to get to know friends of your boyfriend/girlfriend. This is not technically an advice thread - I just wanted to see what people find acceptable in this respect (because I got such varying responses from "real life" people).
We've been married for more than 8 years. I've known her for more than 13.
I still refuse to meet her friends :P
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 08:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Just my weight.
And I think I wasted that joke on this crowd.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 08:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Just my weight.
And I think I wasted that joke on this crowd.
Oh.
185!
:)
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 08:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Just my weight.
And I think I wasted that joke on this crowd.
I got it. I just thought it was unfunny. :P
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 15, 2011, 01:14:52 PM
Normally before they became my girlfriend. But the world has now changed and people meet over the internet.
So true. I miss those days.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 08:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Just my weight.
And I think I wasted that joke on this crowd.
Dude wtf. Are you 3 feet tall or what. 170!
Quote from: Zoupa on June 16, 2011, 03:23:03 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 08:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Just my weight.
And I think I wasted that joke on this crowd.
Dude wtf. Are you 3 feet tall or what. 170!
Wtf. Are you nuts? I'm 6 feet tall and weigh 176 pounds (and think I would like to weigh around 170). Are you fat or just bad at maths?
So Marti current rent boy doesnt want him to meet his friends?
Take a clue, he is embarrassed by you.
He's probably worried that his friends may figure out that he's gay if they meet "Martina" ftf.
In previous relationships we met through a shared group of friends.
Internet relationships didn't last long enough to even know when their surname was.
Currently, he's ditched all friends, family and contacts form his past life. I think he may have murdered someone. Though I've met most of the new friends he's made since he moved to my neck of the woods. I guess he met mine after six months or so? Maybe the Eurovision party didn't make the best first impression.
Quote from: Zoupa on June 16, 2011, 03:23:03 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 08:28:06 PM
Quote from: Grey Fox on June 15, 2011, 08:26:31 PM
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 15, 2011, 07:41:28 PM
QuoteAnyone here dated someone considerably younger and could weigh in
170 lbs.
Is that the total weight of all your kids?
Just my weight.
And I think I wasted that joke on this crowd.
Dude wtf. Are you 3 feet tall or what. 170!
6 glorious feet of gristle.
I'm 6 ft long.
Quote from: The Brain on June 16, 2011, 07:08:32 AM
I'm 6 ft long.
Measuring from toes to outstretched hand?
lolz.
Quote from: Slargos on June 15, 2011, 01:16:34 PM
I've ended up in some uncomfortable situations that way before, and now I never agree to socialise with the friends of hookers.
you beat Seedy to his answer. good work. :p
Quote from: Martinus on June 16, 2011, 04:08:48 AM
Wtf. Are you nuts? I'm 6 feet tall and weigh 176 pounds
I dont think your scale is working.
If you say so.
Quote from: Jacob on June 16, 2011, 02:18:54 PM
170-180 lbs at 6' is pretty normal.
If only it was...
Fuck I have to diet and work out compulsively to be that weight and I am 5'11" I envy you people.
I'm 6' and around 250. :showoff:
Quote from: Jacob on June 16, 2011, 02:18:54 PM
Quote from: crazy canuck on June 16, 2011, 02:10:43 PM
If you say so.
170-180 lbs at 6' is pretty normal.
Yep, 5'11" and about 172 lbs.
Though when I used to do a lot of running I was 147 lbs, whereas when I've had a lot of muscle (unnecessarily) i've been upto 205 lbs.
Quote from: The Brain on June 16, 2011, 07:12:43 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 16, 2011, 07:11:24 AM
Quote from: The Brain on June 16, 2011, 07:08:32 AM
I'm 6 ft long.
Measuring from toes to outstretched hand?
:huh: No my anatomy is normal.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos2.fotosearch.com%2Fbthumb%2FPHT%2FPHT032%2FPAA032000106.jpg&hash=30d80808237c6e608c67bc8580bd835b82c43a6e)
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 16, 2011, 02:58:09 PM
Quote from: The Brain on June 16, 2011, 07:12:43 AM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on June 16, 2011, 07:11:24 AM
Quote from: The Brain on June 16, 2011, 07:08:32 AM
I'm 6 ft long.
Measuring from toes to outstretched hand?
:huh: No my anatomy is normal.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos2.fotosearch.com%2Fbthumb%2FPHT%2FPHT032%2FPAA032000106.jpg&hash=30d80808237c6e608c67bc8580bd835b82c43a6e)
I don't get it. I am hung like a whale therefore I am a little girl?