- When you take a leak but forget to flush
- When you take a leak but forget to wash your hands.
- When you miss a meal and do not make up for it.
- When you start mixing diferent types of drinks.
- When you forget that your car is parked 4 bars away, give or take.
- When you stop playing metal and start playing Miley Cyrus on your audio system.
- When you take a dive on your pool and break your nose.
- When you fuck your wife and doesn't matter how hard you try you can't come.
- When you you drink all the beer and start drinking vodka with diet coke.
:(
I think you need help man.
"If you have to ask..."
When you come home late and the old lady is a sleep. You put cellophane over the toilet bowl and put the seat down. Then forget you did it.
or
You attempt to clean the electric stove by using a large flat head screw driver. You diassemble the knob control plate and start scraping in the control knob area. The screw driver arcs the leads and takes a chunk out of the screw driver. You decide you should turn the power off to the kitchen. When you get back from the breaker box (w/the power off) you begin in ernst. Only to discover you cannot see anything. You attempt to turn the light on that is in the exhaust fan and discover it doesnt work. You walk back to the breaker box to turn on the power so you can see what you're doing. You return to the stove now that you can see and begin cleanining, only to have it arc again and take another chunk out of your screw driver. Now two burners dont work, the oven doesnt come on either, and it's still dirty.
or
You attempt to defrost a smaller upright frig with a large flat head screw driver (it has a couple of chunks missing out of it and has electrical burn marks). You begin chipping away furiously, only to puncture the side of the freezer box and watch all the freon escape. You replace the frig with a bigger standard model. When you bring it in the kitchen you discover it will not fit under the shelves/cupboard like the smaller frig did. So, you fire up your sawsall and cut the lower cupboards off, so the larger frig will fit
or
You're doing a heads/cam/intake upgrade on your truck. As you are torquing the head bolts, the craftsman 3" extension and 3/4 socket slip off the torque wrench and goes perfectly right down the exhaust pipe. You try for several hours to retrive them, but to no avail. You say, "Fuck it" and finish putting it all back together. Upon first fire-up a large back fire happens that blows soot all over the rear quater panel of your nice '77 Aspen R/T. You discover that the distributor was put in 180 Deg out. You put the distributor in right, and it starts right up for the cam break in. Now you hear an exhaust leak. You look under the truck to discover that one of the new mufflers blew a seam, possible due to a minor exhaust obstruction.
6 mos later you get around to replacing the busted muffler. The exhaust guy comes out with a sooted craftsman 3" extension and 3/4 socket.
Adventures in Wild Turkey
Quote- When you miss a meal and do not make up for it.
that is soooo bad the next morning :x
Quote from: Siege on May 22, 2011, 11:34:24 PM
- When you take a leak in the wardrobe thinking it's the bathroom
This happened to a couple I know :lol:
I think he meant to title this thread "How do you know when you are a drunk."
You see double.
You see double.
Quote from: 11B4V on May 23, 2011, 02:19:53 AM
or
You attempt to clean the electric stove by using a large flat head screw driver. You diassemble the knob control plate and start scraping in the control knob area. The screw driver arcs the leads and takes a chunk out of the screw driver. You decide you should turn the power off to the kitchen. When you get back from the breaker box (w/the power off) you begin in ernst. Only to discover you cannot see anything. You attempt to turn the light on that is in the exhaust fan and discover it doesnt work. You walk back to the breaker box to turn on the power so you can see what you're doing. You return to the stove now that you can see and begin cleanining, only to have it arc again and take another chunk out of your screw driver. Now two burners dont work, the oven doesnt come on either, and it's still dirty.
:lol:
classic stuff, B4V.
Just scratches the surface to the antics and debauchery. Wilder days to be sure. I dont drink anymore.
or
This one involves my dad and younger brother (who btw is the person in my avatar). They are both yucking it up at the bar one afternoon at the Holiday inn. After multiple bottles of wine they depart and my brother side swipes several cars leaving the parking garage. They make it home. My dad passes out in his room and my brother on his couch. The cops come and arrest my brother later calls my dad from the police station. Dad gets the ass, gets in his car (still drunk) and drives down to the police station. He convinently parks (crashes) his car into a snow bank at the police station parking lot. A cop, an ADA, and judge (yes an ADA and Judge) assist him from the car and help (arrest) him inside.
My Dad is a professional student and my brother is working his graduate degree in some weird ass mathatics these days. They still drink though.
When you call a friend in the morning while the room is still spinning around your head like a washing machine. You apologise for leaving the (very expensive) bar without settling your portion of the bill but explain you were really in a bad way and had to bail out, before any more 4 litre jugs of spirit were ordered, and you decided that the best thing to do was to leave the bar and go get the night bus. You then describe the night bus in great detail, including the other occupants, who were loud football fans singing England songs, and the annoying lady from Derbyshire who sat next to you.
He sounds very confused, and explains that you in fact got a taxi (after, it must be said, standing on a bar stool and demanding every else present vote for you in the coming London mayoral election) with him and the other guy you were out with, who ended up losing his credit card and mobile phone.