When I was a pre-teen oh so long ago, my mom separated our house into three different jobs: living room & dining room, bathroom, and kitchen. She then assigned each of us one of those jobs with the expectation that it be done before she got home from work. We balked at the idea at first, but we really had no choice, so we did the chores. None of us liked them, but seriously, who does like household chores? My godmother had a similar program at her place, but because we were quite small when we lived there, we only had to dust and vacuum. :)
With my four kids, I started doing the same thing when the eldest two were around 10 years old, though I've included several other jobs into the mix, and added Max and my names into the rotation as they've gotten elder. Every week, things rotate, which means that someone can go five weeks without having to do a single dish, etc. The system is meant to teach the kids every aspect of keeping house, and to move things around so that no one is stuck doing the really crap job all the time.
I recently found out that this is an "odd" concept to some friends of ours. They have 11-year-old twin boys whose only jobs are to take out the trash and to load the dishwasher. The parents do everything else, mostly because they want it done a certain way and they don't want to fight the boys to get things done properly. In addition, apparently my ex-husband's wife does ALL of the housework at his house, and the kids aren't expected to lift a finger except to keep their bedrooms picked up.
Am I unusual in the idea that the house is a family place, therefore it's the entire family's responsibility to take care of it? :unsure:
And how will/have you handle(d) the concept of "chores" with your kids?
No, though I can understand why soft parents might choose to do 10 minutes of dishes over 20 minutes of arguing/nagging.
Yes, in my house with my father I was expected to do the chores(he was working 12hr days)
When was with my mother she would make me clean and take out garbage, but we rotated the dishes.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on May 09, 2011, 10:37:22 PM
No, though I can understand why soft parents might choose to do 10 minutes of dishes over 20 minutes of arguing/nagging.
It is 100 times easier to do it myself than to deal with the kids' over things, but what is that teaching them? So, I take the much harder (and very draining) road in order to teach them about responsibility. I'm rarely sure if it's sinking in, but at least I'm trying.
We did chores as a kid but it did always seem like many of our friends found the concept alien.
On even days, I had to set the silverware and napkins on the table, while my brother had to feed the dog; on odd days we swapped. We also had to vacuum and take out the garbage when told, which was fairly often. And often had to mow the lawn. And other things.
Out of curiosity for those who answer, were there "boy" chores and "girl" chores ?
(For my part, it was standard to do things around the house - dishes, vacuum, dusting, etc. - but we didn't cook, unless it was a "family" affair).
Quote from: HisMajestyBOB on May 09, 2011, 10:40:25 PM
On even days, I had to set the silverware and napkins on the table, while my brother had to feed the dog; on odd days we swapped. We also had to vacuum and take out the garbage when told, which was fairly often. And often had to mow the lawn. And other things.
:huh:
Wow. Our chore list includes:
- Living Room & Front Hall
- Dining Room & Garbage
- Bathroom & Cat Litter
- Dishes & Kitchen
- Laundry
- Plan, make and put away dinner
The chores include picking up, dusting, sweeping, organizing, wiping surfaces down as needed, etc., in each room. Basically... keeping house.
We had various chores as a kid, but I have to admit at certain points my mother "gave up" and did a big chunk of them herself.
Quote from: merithyn on May 09, 2011, 10:45:30 PM
:huh:
Wow. Our chore list includes:
- Living Room & Front Hall
- Dining Room & Garbage
- Bathroom & Cat Litter
- Dishes & Kitchen
- Laundry
- Plan, make and put away dinner
The chores include picking up, dusting, sweeping, organizing, wiping surfaces down as needed, etc., in each room. Basically... keeping house.
We did all of those except washing the laundry (until we were older). I think they thought we'd fuck it up. :blush:
Quote from: Oexmelin on May 09, 2011, 10:42:59 PM
Out of curiosity for those who answer, were there "boy" chores and "girl" chores ?
(For my part, it was standard to do things around the house - dishes, vacuum, dusting, etc. - but we didn't cook, unless it was a "family" affair).
Once we were old enough to pretty much keep the house always picked up, the chores were separated into Garbage and Dishes. My brother took the garbage to the curb once a week, and my sister and I did the dishes every night... because that's what boys and girls did. :wacko:
I've never made the distinction in my house. Chores need to be done regardless of whether you have a penis or not.
Quote from: Oexmelin on May 09, 2011, 10:42:59 PM
Out of curiosity for those who answer, were there "boy" chores and "girl" chores ?
(For my part, it was standard to do things around the house - dishes, vacuum, dusting, etc. - but we didn't cook, unless it was a "family" affair).
Not in my house, but then we never had particularly strict gender roles.
Quote from: garbon on May 09, 2011, 10:47:10 PM
We did all of those except washing the laundry (until we were older). I think they thought we'd fuck it up. :blush:
Laundry and dinner are recent additions now that my youngest has turned 12. :D
Quote from: Barrister on May 09, 2011, 10:46:35 PM
We had various chores as a kid, but I have to admit at certain points my mother "gave up" and did a big chunk of them herself.
I think this is the most common scenario. My mom often re-did things we thought we had done a great job on.
No set chore list, but i was told to do stuff like take out the trash, vacuum, shovel etc. at random times.
I always got stuck with the garbage and lawn-mowing. My sisters were more likely to get tasked with vacuuming.
Quote from: merithyn on May 09, 2011, 10:45:30 PM
Quote from: HisMajestyBOB on May 09, 2011, 10:40:25 PM
On even days, I had to set the silverware and napkins on the table, while my brother had to feed the dog; on odd days we swapped. We also had to vacuum and take out the garbage when told, which was fairly often. And often had to mow the lawn. And other things.
:huh:
Wow. Our chore list includes:
- Living Room & Front Hall
- Dining Room & Garbage
- Bathroom & Cat Litter
- Dishes & Kitchen
- Laundry
- Plan, make and put away dinner
The chores include picking up, dusting, sweeping, organizing, wiping surfaces down as needed, etc., in each room. Basically... keeping house.
Oh, we did some of that as well, when needed. My parent's didn't really trust us with more complicated things like dusting, since we'd either do a bad job or would break something :D
Garbage and lawn mowing, only, as far as I can remember, and by the time I was old enough to mown the lawn, I was demanding money for it.
Quote from: HVC on May 09, 2011, 10:59:45 PM
No set chore list, but i was told to do stuff like take out the trash, vacuum, shovel etc. at random times.
Yeah, same here.
D'oh, I keep forgetting about TBA sanctity. :zipped:
Quote from: garbon on May 09, 2011, 10:47:48 PM
Quote from: Oexmelin on May 09, 2011, 10:42:59 PM
Out of curiosity for those who answer, were there "boy" chores and "girl" chores ?
(For my part, it was standard to do things around the house - dishes, vacuum, dusting, etc. - but we didn't cook, unless it was a "family" affair).
Not in my house, but then we never had particularly strict gender roles.
:zipped:
I learned at an early age that if you do a job poorly enough the first time, you won't be asked to do it again.
Why is this topic pinned? :hmm:
I was wondering that myself.
Anyway, yes I did chores as a kid. We had to take out the trash, occasionally vacuum and load the dishwasher, and mow the lawn... which was my least favorite chore as it invariably resulted in asthma attack. :bleeding:
Also, when I was in high school I started cooking, because my dad was always on the road with work and my mom in graduate school, and she told me and my brother to 'forage' for dinner. :wacko:
When I lived alone with my dad. I did most of everything. I had no other choice. I didn't cook tho, wasn't allowed.
Then when we moved with my aunt & my uncle. My aunt did most of everything. She likes things done a certain way & especially at a certain time. Time that a student can't replicate.
I have no idea how I'm going to implement any of this to my children. Except dishes. Gawd, I hate doing the dishes nowadays.
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 10, 2011, 06:09:39 AM
When I lived alone with my dad. I did most of everything. I had no other choice. I didn't cook tho, wasn't allowed.
Then when we moved with my aunt & my uncle. My aunt did most of everything. She likes things done a certain way & especially at a certain time. Time that a student can't replicate.
I have no idea how I'm going to implement any of this to my children. Except dishes. Gawd, I hate doing the dishes nowadays.
Psst. :secret:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhomeappliances.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2Felectrolux-pan-european-design-dishwasher.jpg&hash=05015622e03b83e7b162d3a33811218bd33ef056)
:cool:
Supposedly I mowed the lawn, took out the trash, did the dishes, and picked up my space...but mostly I was just very passive aggressive and drove my parents nuts trying to get me to do that stuff.
My son just spits up on stuff these days but maybe 10 years from now I can try to get him to do work also.
Quote from: Martinus on May 10, 2011, 07:12:20 AM
Quote from: Grey Fox on May 10, 2011, 06:09:39 AM
When I lived alone with my dad. I did most of everything. I had no other choice. I didn't cook tho, wasn't allowed.
Then when we moved with my aunt & my uncle. My aunt did most of everything. She likes things done a certain way & especially at a certain time. Time that a student can't replicate.
I have no idea how I'm going to implement any of this to my children. Except dishes. Gawd, I hate doing the dishes nowadays.
Psst. :secret:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhomeappliances.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2Felectrolux-pan-european-design-dishwasher.jpg&hash=05015622e03b83e7b162d3a33811218bd33ef056)
Got that, still hate doing what ever doesn't go in it.
Quote from: merithyn on May 09, 2011, 10:33:57 PM
And how will/have you handle(d) the concept of "chores" with your kids?
When I was young, my father was working outside the city all week long and the saturdays were devoted to chopping and taking out wood from his woodlands.
During the week, I had to do the lawnmower, make sure the wood was ready for winter, bring it inside, do some minor landscaping, help my mom with cooking, clean my room way too often for my tastes, help my grandfather (farmer), and various stuff in and out of the house like helping my mother clean the dishes.
If I have kids one day, they'll do some of this stuff too, or at least help me do it.
Quote from: Razgovory on May 10, 2011, 04:17:45 AM
I learned at an early age that if you do a job poorly enough the first time, you won't be asked to do it again.
Didn't work for Dubya though, did it?
Quote from: Martinus on May 10, 2011, 03:27:23 AM
Quote from: garbon on May 09, 2011, 10:47:48 PM
Quote from: Oexmelin on May 09, 2011, 10:42:59 PM
Out of curiosity for those who answer, were there "boy" chores and "girl" chores ?
(For my part, it was standard to do things around the house - dishes, vacuum, dusting, etc. - but we didn't cook, unless it was a "family" affair).
Not in my house, but then we never had particularly strict gender roles.
:zipped:
None of us seemed to have had a problem with it...well maybe my father as he has come to resent that he was a stay at home dad.
I meant you turning out ab-normal and all. :ph34r:
Quote from: Martinus on May 10, 2011, 11:15:26 AM
I meant you turning out ab-normal and all. :ph34r:
Yeah probably would have better to have been raised in an environment that would have made me ashamed and left me a closet case for most of my 20s.
Quote from: Razgovory on May 10, 2011, 04:17:45 AM
I learned at an early age that if you do a job poorly enough the first time, you won't be asked to do it again.
My kids have tried that for years. Hasn't worked for them yet.
never had any. :) it's been a bit difficult since moving out :(
Everybody had a chore. It was basically each one did their own room, and then did one of the general tasks everywhere else (dishes/putting stuff away/dusting/vacuuming). I was the vacuumer. There was really no individual avenue of appeal to my mom; it was so understood that everyone was going to be a part of it, that the only salvation was if we all collectively got a reprieve, and skipped a week by executive decree on the day of the cleaning.
Quote from: merithyn on May 10, 2011, 12:50:40 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on May 10, 2011, 04:17:45 AM
I learned at an early age that if you do a job poorly enough the first time, you won't be asked to do it again.
My kids have tried that for years. Hasn't worked for them yet.
Kids, being kids, will always find some way out of chores.
Quote from: Zeus on May 10, 2011, 10:18:13 PM
Kids, being kids, will always find some way out of chores.
Not mine. I love them too much to let them beat me in this regard.
And I have no problem using a yardstick on their asses when necessary. :moon:
Quote from: merithyn on May 10, 2011, 10:36:38 PM
Quote from: Zeus on May 10, 2011, 10:18:13 PM
Kids, being kids, will always find some way out of chores.
Not mine. I love them too much to let them beat me in this regard.
And I have no problem using a yardstick on their asses when necessary. :moon:
:zipped:
Our Filipino maid did all chores. My one and only chore was to excel academically.
Chores are for plebes.
hmmm.
:thumbsup:
Being Portuguese and having been raised long ago, the general idea at the time was that household chores are for women.
Thus, being a male, I was never required to do any. Neither did my father, even though he was unemployed his entire adult life - he always let my mother do everything on her own.
Today things are different, and women demand a division of the workload. Which actually means 'the men should do everything'. Quite a difference from the past. And a big reason why I'm single, after having cohabited with my girlfriend in my 20s and experienced this new trend first-hand.
Today, I use a cleaning lady for the hard bits around the house. I do the small-time cleaning simply because I am a Virgo and can't stand the sight of a little dust.
If I had kids, I wouldn't ask them to do anything - let the employee deal with it, clean it if you want.
The first time I did chores was actually when I studied a semester at Berkeley, long after I graduated. I lived in a dormatory, so no maids. Looking back, it was the most useful skill that I obtained there. I made a few simple rules and stuck to them. Took the trash out and did the dishes every night. Designated every Wednesday morning as cleaning time. Changed the bedsheets, vacuumed the room, did the laundry, wiped the tables and large surfaces, took a critical look at my stuff to see if anything could be thrown away, etc. Every week. I was 26 back then, and it was the first time I did any laundry or cleaning. I used to think that chores were too tough and demanding, but it was amazingly easy to pick up those habits.
Cleaning my room whenever the parents demanded it, shoveling snow in the winter, cutting grass in the summer, and participating in various capacities whenever my dad announced, "we're going to clean up the house today!"
The day-to-day cleaning and such was usually handled by Mom.
Has anyone figured out why this thread is pinned? :unsure:
And why my post about Jak being gay has been deleted? :lol:
Quote from: merithyn on May 11, 2011, 08:50:27 PM
Has anyone figured out why this thread is pinned? :unsure:
To act as a warning to others.
"Look what becoming a parent might make you do, you imbecilles."
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhughbiquitous.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2Fmistakes.jpg&hash=53ea94a01453440c09ec82ad561ac215e3ee9809)
We dont have chore lists. We just have a level of expectation that certain things will get done by the boys. Those things include cooking their own breakfasts, making their own lunches, keeping their rooms and play areas clean, helping with the dishes and cooking supper a few days a week and taking out the garbage.
Also, is it possible to purge Marti from OTR?
Quote from: merithyn on May 11, 2011, 08:50:27 PM
Has anyone figured out why this thread is pinned? :unsure:
Did you do your chores yet? :yeahright:
Quote from: HisMajestyBOB on May 12, 2011, 10:59:51 AM
Quote from: merithyn on May 11, 2011, 08:50:27 PM
Has anyone figured out why this thread is pinned? :unsure:
Did you do your chores yet? :yeahright:
No :cry:
Quote from: Martim Silva on May 11, 2011, 11:26:50 AM
Being Portuguese and having been raised long ago, the general idea at the time was that household chores are for women.
Thus, being a male, I was never required to do any. Neither did my father, even though he was unemployed his entire adult life - he always let my mother do everything on her own.
Today things are different, and women demand a division of the workload. Which actually means 'the men should do everything'. Quite a difference from the past. And a big reason why I'm single, after having cohabited with my girlfriend in my 20s and experienced this new trend first-hand.
Today, I use a cleaning lady for the hard bits around the house. I do the small-time cleaning simply because I am a Virgo and can't stand the sight of a little dust.
If I had kids, I wouldn't ask them to do anything - let the employee deal with it, clean it if you want.
Your dad sounds like a fantastic role model.
We divided ALL the work. When it came to the weekly cleaning I usually chose the bathrooms. We alternated putting crap in the dishwasher and going shopping. At some point (13+ yo) everyone used to do his or her own laundry or cook his or her own meals (we all came home at different times).
Nowadays I do nothing at all. I solved the problem by living in a very small apartment and paying someone to do that kind of crap for me.
When I have kids, and I pray I don't, I'll make them all into my little slaves and clean my house after me for little pay and no benefits. Hell, scrap the pay.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhaziqali.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F05%2Fslavery-gets-shit-done1.jpg&hash=6ca4b0fa31f77160567d1d746f35cd654b6f2e6e)
Quote from: Zeus on May 13, 2011, 06:39:25 PM
When I have kids, and I pray I don't, I'll make them all into my little slaves and clean my house after me for little pay and no benefits. Hell, scrap the pay.
:lol: Good luck with that.
Sticky? eh?
My sister is a lazy bitch who won't do anything.
I'm not going to do crap when she doesn't have to.
She isn't going to do anything when I don't.
The system works.
I pretty much just walk the dog.
This thread reminds me I need to repair/ buy a washing machine. pronto. <_<
I never had any chores. Where I did do stuff to help out it was more of just that - wanting to help out - than some imposed duty. No curfews either.
We always shared the chores, and when we go up to the cottage, we still do - if someone does the cooking, someone else washes the dishes, that sort of thing.
That being noted, the cottage chores were somewhat gendered - chopping up wood or hauling water was a task for my dad or me / brothers, while cooking and clothes-washing was more likely to be done by my mom.
One task I absolutely hated was gardening. My dad had a dream of being self-sufficient in organic, pesticide-free vegitables, which meant a truly astonishing amount of guarden-work, much of it unpleasant (like spreading manure, or my 'favorite' - picking potato beetles and grubs off potato plants, and dropping 'em into a can of kerosene hung around my neck). Naturally, I was dragged into spending my weekends on this. Cured me permanently of any back-to-the-land type fantasies (plus made me really appreciate pesticides - without chemicals, the bugs eat damn near everything before you do).
Right now, the wife does the cooking, and I do the cleanup.
Except that she expects me to help with her cooking, while I do the cleanup myself :ph34r:
I washed dishes, took out the trash and mowed the lawn.
Whose chore is it to take care of putting up/taking down stickies?
Someone is slacking <_<
I brought you into this house, and I can take you out.
You want to live here, you pay rent or you work.
I'm not afraid to send you into the crawlspace.
I tried to get out of any and all possible chores.