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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:07:58 AM

Title: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:07:58 AM
Every goddamned movie or tv-show that wants to depict a precious moment of relaxation (especially first-time romantic lovey dovey non-Seedy sex) has a vastly over-inflated candle budget.

Obviously, some of it must translate to the real world because IKEA sells candles for unimaginable sums every year. However, that could simply be an effect of people wanting to imagine themselves as the kinds of people who light up entire rooms with hundreds of candles and so the fraud continues.

What - the - fuck - gives?

Do YOU use candles?

Why do you use candles?

What is the fucking deal here?

What's candles got that can't be supplied by nice, clean LED lighting?

THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Josquius on April 02, 2011, 06:13:02 AM
Candles make the air smell nice.
I don't make a habit of using them, they're very much a girly thing, but have in the past.

I'm far more annoyed at how seemless sex in the movies is. Never any false starts or moments of 'is it in yet?' or bits of conversation.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Brazen on April 02, 2011, 06:21:36 AM
They're used in films because because the light is very flattering.

I don't use them. The flat across the road burned down from someone forgetting a candle.

I just don't get how much they cost. The average posh scented candle seems to go for £50. And these ones, well...
http://www.jomalone.co.uk/products/3561/For-The-Home/Luxury-Candles/index.tmpl (http://www.jomalone.co.uk/products/3561/For-The-Home/Luxury-Candles/index.tmpl)

Plus scented ones give me a headache and make me sneeze.

At least the IKEA ones only cost £1.99 for a pack of 30.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Norgy on April 02, 2011, 06:24:47 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:07:58 AM

What's candles got that can't be supplied by nice, clean LED lighting?

THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS.

Ambience, apparently.

I suggest a candlelit vigil to protest it.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:26:24 AM
Quote from: Norgy on April 02, 2011, 06:24:47 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:07:58 AM

What's candles got that can't be supplied by nice, clean LED lighting?

THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS.

Ambience, apparently.

I suggest a candlelit vigil to protest it.

I'm more into torch-lit "vigils" myself.  :hmm:
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Brazen on April 02, 2011, 06:31:05 AM
When Dad decorated his girlfriend's living room, she burns so many candles* there was a thick, greasy layer of smoke to clean off the ceiling, like a couple of 40-a-day smokers had lived there for years.

* Obviously not for when they're having sex, because they don't do that. Oh no. No, no, no.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 06:48:09 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:07:58 AM
Do YOU use candles?

From time to time.

QuoteWhy do you use candles?

Ambient lighting and scent.

QuoteWhat is the fucking deal here?

It's easier than a tossing another Jew on the pyre.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Eddie Teach on April 02, 2011, 06:54:34 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 06:07:58 AM
Do YOU use candles?

On rare occasions.

QuoteWhy do you use candles?

The power's out.  :lol:
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 07:01:11 AM
Quote
QuoteWhy do you use candles?

The power's out.  :lol:

lol
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 07:06:17 AM
I'd take Slargos to Yankee Candle.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 07:07:19 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 07:06:17 AM
I'd take Slargos to Yankee Candle.

Is their secret ingredient by any chance Jew?  :licklips:
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 07:07:53 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 07:06:17 AM
I'd take Slargos to Yankee Candle.

I was there just yesterday, buying new air fresheners for the Jeep.  Mountain Trail.  Very Jeepish.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 07:09:26 AM
I assume there was a lot of mall ass there.  :)
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: jimmy olsen on April 02, 2011, 07:10:22 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 07:07:53 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 07:06:17 AM
I'd take Slargos to Yankee Candle.

I was there just yesterday, buying new air fresheners for the Jeep.  Mountain Trail.  Very Jeepish.
LOL, since when do you drive a jeep?
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: garbon on April 02, 2011, 07:11:12 AM
Illuminations, which unfortunately seems to have all but died out as a chain, has way better smelling candles that Yankee Candle.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Darth Wagtaros on April 02, 2011, 07:22:09 AM
I like Yankee Candle. I like Vineyard. 
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 07:27:48 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on April 02, 2011, 07:10:22 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 07:07:53 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 07:06:17 AM
I'd take Slargos to Yankee Candle.

I was there just yesterday, buying new air fresheners for the Jeep.  Mountain Trail.  Very Jeepish.
LOL, since when do you drive a jeep?

Traded in the Cavalier and the Caddy for a black-on-black 4-door hardtop stick shift Wrangler, baby.  I'm never walking 3 miles home in a blizzard like I did in January ever again.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: merithyn on April 02, 2011, 07:44:01 AM
I love candles. Before I met Max and when the kids were young, I burned then often. I love the way lit candles make a room feel: cozy, comfortable, and homey. Kind of like a mini-fireplace that smells nicer. Of course, I tend toward pyromaniac at the best of times. :D

Nowadays, however, I can't burn the candles because no one in the house can stand the smell but me. It usually gives Max and Jak a headache, and any cozy feeling is stripped away by the complaining by everyone in the house. :grr:
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: The Brain on April 02, 2011, 08:12:42 AM
Why use smelly candles?
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: merithyn on April 02, 2011, 08:19:16 AM
Very hard to find non-smelly candles anymore. At least the pretty candles that I like are usually very smelly.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:44:10 AM
Cozy:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcompactimpact.com%2Fshop1%2Fimages%2FLed-Faucet-Light-01-6.jpg&hash=f1d2fca7b1d5eb79b8e55bcf383fe87dfa511e4b)

Luddite scum:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hawaiireaders.com%2Ffiles%2F2010%2F10%2Fcavemen-and-fire.jpg&hash=adc212a102237f017283e1c5708b4a8e95c2fb23)
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:45:25 AM
Cozy:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediaarchitecture.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F11%2FRockefeller2.jpg&hash=0cab064a8fcfafb3be51fe3cca97698373d4ea26)

Sick and twisted cultists:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dundascastle.co.uk%2F__components%2Fimages%2Fwedding-enquiry%2Fcandles.jpg&hash=38b4d16414b91db7d0034c0755f209c37dd5f180)
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:48:28 AM
Develops a new cure for cancer using all natural herbs found in the rainforest:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftrendsupdates.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2FLED-Lighting-Horticulture-2.jpg&hash=9503c1e0affe2f90ba4dfb178a6a8633daaf6530)

Likes to lure little children into her cellar where she eats them:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3462%2F3227601011_afb5b46a9d.jpg&hash=14b5ecf4140d5758b8292833e276be2e93f6e7f6)
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Caliga on April 02, 2011, 08:48:46 AM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 07:27:48 AM
Traded in the Cavalier and the Caddy for a black-on-black 4-door hardtop stick shift Wrangler, baby.  I'm never walking 3 miles home in a blizzard like I did in January ever again.
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:48:50 AM
Am I making myself perfectly clear, you sick freaks?
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 08:50:36 AM
I turn my cell phones off and prefer the landline.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Eddie Teach on April 02, 2011, 08:51:35 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:45:25 AM
Cozy:

(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediaarchitecture.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F11%2FRockefeller2.jpg&hash=0cab064a8fcfafb3be51fe3cca97698373d4ea26)

:wacko:
That's like the opposite of cozy.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:52:12 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 08:50:36 AM
I turn my cell phones off and prefer the landline.

And during the Reckoning, you will be processed into Soylent Green with the other reprobates.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 08:53:52 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:52:12 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 08:50:36 AM
I turn my cell phones off and prefer the landline.

And during the Reckoning, you will be processed into Soylent Green with the other reprobates.

You aren't the first to tell me I'd be first against the wall.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:59:12 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 08:53:52 AM
Quote from: Slargos on April 02, 2011, 08:52:12 AM
Quote from: Ed Anger on April 02, 2011, 08:50:36 AM
I turn my cell phones off and prefer the landline.

And during the Reckoning, you will be processed into Soylent Green with the other reprobates.

You aren't the first to tell me I'd be first against the wall.

Don't flatter yourself. There's a long list ahead of you.  :P
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: Admiral Yi on April 02, 2011, 01:42:31 PM
Quote from: Tyr on April 02, 2011, 06:13:02 AM
I'm far more annoyed at how seemless sex in the movies is. Never any false starts or moments of 'is it in yet?' or bits of conversation.

For a truly hilarious and absolutely dead-on loss of virginity scene, I refer you to Biloxi Blues.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: sbr on April 02, 2011, 05:19:21 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 02, 2011, 01:42:31 PM
Quote from: Tyr on April 02, 2011, 06:13:02 AM
I'm far more annoyed at how seemless sex in the movies is. Never any false starts or moments of 'is it in yet?' or bits of conversation.

For a truly hilarious and absolutely dead-on loss of virginity scene, I refer you to Biloxi Blues.

That's a pretty funny movie, I still find myself throwing quotes out from that one.

Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.
Title: Re: What the fuck is up with the candles?
Post by: CountDeMoney on April 02, 2011, 05:31:14 PM
Quote from: Admiral Yi on April 02, 2011, 01:42:31 PM
Quote from: Tyr on April 02, 2011, 06:13:02 AM
I'm far more annoyed at how seemless sex in the movies is. Never any false starts or moments of 'is it in yet?' or bits of conversation.

For a truly hilarious and absolutely dead-on loss of virginity scene, I refer you to Biloxi Blues.

Forrest Gump had a rather hilarious scene. Sorry about your blanket.