Frazzled Roxbury mom calls the cops on teen gamer (http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1220221)
QuoteIt's game over for a 14-year-old Roxbury boy, whose overwhelmed mother was so exasperated with his incessant video game playing that she called the cops on him.
The final straw for Angela Mejia snapped at 2:30 a.m. Saturday when, "I woke up in the middle of the night and saw the light on in his bedroom," hours after she had told him to go to sleep.
"Sometimes I want to run away, too," Mejia said, breaking down in tears in her immaculate apartment. "I have support from my church, but I'm alone. I want to help my son, but I can't find a way."
Mejia is among thousands of parents struggling with today's video-game obsessed youth. The Entertainment Software Association reports the popularity of video games is skyrocketing, with 42 percent of adults intending to give, or hoping to find one in their Christmas stocking this week.
Mejia's son - one of four children the 49-year-old is raising alone - was playing "Grand Theft Auto," an exceedingly violent video in which the gamer assumes the role of ladder-climbing criminal.
An argument ensued as Mejia unplugged her son's PlayStation. Then, this mad-as-hell mother dialed 911. Police responded and managed to talk the boy into shutting off the game and going to sleep.
"They (police) were just like, 'Chill out. Go to bed,' " the boy told the Herald.
Mejia said she approves of athletic-themed videos, but as for "Grand Theft Auto," she said, "I would never buy that kind of video. No way. I called (police) because if you don't respect your mother, what are you going to do in your life?"
Mejia, a cafeteria cashier at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Jamaica Plain, said the two officers who responded "were surprised" there was more involved than putting the lid on a simmering family feud.
Emmy Award-winning documentarian Lawrence Kutner, former co-director of the Center for Mental Health and Media at Massachusetts General Hospital is the author of "Grand Theft Childhood: The Surprising Truth About Violent Video Games and What Parents Can Do."
"Clearly, it's a very, very rare situation for someone to call the cops. That she went to the extreme of calling the police tells me more about her level of frustration than anything else," Kutner said.
"Adults tend to view video games as isolating experiences," Kutner said. "Kids view them as social experiences. It's a way in part - especially for boys - of gaining social acceptance."
1. I wouldn't respect a mother who relies on the cops for her parenting.
2. At least no one got tazered this time.
:lol:
Meh. That whole area is a bit strange.
What's the big fuss? Don't parents do this all the time with their kids? As an alternative the kids can be shipped to Gitmo, for some real life GTA.
I hope she was arrested for misusing 911. What if someone died because police or dispatcher resources were tied up on this nonsense?
Quote"They (police) were just like, 'Chill out. Go to bed,' " the boy told the Herald.
But what did they tell the boy?
Didn't she find the fuse box?
Quote from: Caliga on December 22, 2009, 03:03:05 PM
I hope she was arrested for misusing 911. What if someone died because police or dispatcher resources were tied up on this nonsense?
If we're going to arrest parents for disciplining their children, as we often do these days, then what other recourse is available?
She can't just take away his video games? :huh:
That's one hell of a wanted level.
Quote from: Valmy on December 22, 2009, 03:28:00 PM
She can't just take away his video games? :huh:
Many 14 year old boys are stronger than their mothers.
Quote from: Tonitrus on December 22, 2009, 03:25:31 PM
If we're going to arrest parents for disciplining their children, as we often do these days, then what other recourse is available?
:lol: Well, I would argue that we ought to cool it on that.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 03:33:16 PM
Quote from: Valmy on December 22, 2009, 03:28:00 PM
She can't just take away his video games? :huh:
Many 14 year old boys are stronger than their mothers.
:yeahright:
I guarantee that even my 16-year-old weight-lifting boys aren't stronger than me when it comes to discipline. If the right tone is inflected and the right look is given, they still cringe rather than risk eternal damnation from me. If Mom is calling the cops on this, she fucked up a long time ago.
Why didn't the police just decline to be involved and leave?
Quote from: merithyn on December 22, 2009, 08:58:22 PM
:yeahright:
I guarantee that even my 16-year-old weight-lifting boys aren't stronger than me when it comes to discipline. If the right tone is inflected and the right look is given, they still cringe rather than risk eternal damnation from me. If Mom is calling the cops on this, she fucked up a long time ago.
Maybe we need to ask Rasputin his take on this. :lol:
Woman should have been horsewhipped in the town square.
If Meris sons were all metrosexual faggots, they could probably overpower her.
Quote from: DGuller on December 22, 2009, 03:29:53 PM
That's one hell of a wanted level.
:lol: I have to say, DGuller is one of the underrated one-liner deliverers around here. :hug:
:jaron: :jaron: :jaron:
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 03:33:16 PM
Many 14 year old boys are stronger than their mothers.
Wait until he is at school or something and then take his video games if that is a problem.
Quote from: Valmy on December 22, 2009, 09:42:59 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 03:33:16 PM
Many 14 year old boys are stronger than their mothers.
Wait until he is at school or something and then take his video games if that is a problem.
And then the boy will have valid cause to call the police :contract:
Not really, minors don't really own anything.
Quote from: Monoriu on December 22, 2009, 09:45:15 PM
And then the boy will have valid cause to call the police :contract:
Did he buy the video games? No they are her property.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 09:48:07 PM
Not really, minors don't really own anything.
Well, first the boy could lock the games in a cabinet or something. That's what I did. Second, if his games were taken away, he will certainly find out, and there will be total war when he does.
Anyway, I think the mother is much more annoyed by the fact that she is disobeyed or ignored, rather than by any real harmful effects of GTA. That's why stealing his games won't achieve the mother's purpose. It won't buy her respect or acknowledgement that she is higher up in the hirarchy. Rather, it is an admission that she has no power over her son, and she has to resort to stealing while he is away.
Quote from: Monoriu on December 22, 2009, 09:55:30 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 09:48:07 PM
Not really, minors don't really own anything.
Well, first the boy could lock the games in a cabinet or something. That's what I did. Second, if his games were taken away, he will certainly find out, and there will be total war when he does.
Anyway, I think the mother is much more annoyed by the fact that she is disobeyed or ignored, rather than by any real harmful effects of GTA. That's why stealing his games won't achieve the mother's purpose. It won't buy her respect or acknowledgement that she is higher up in the hirarchy. Rather, it is an admission that she has no power over her son, and she has to resort to stealing while he is away.
She is not stealing his games you dipshit she is taking them until he earns the privledge of playing them back.
If he puts the games in a cabinet take or break open the cabinet. Playing games is not a right. If the kid is truly addicted she is doing him a favor.
Quote from: Valmy on December 22, 2009, 10:13:16 PM
She is not stealing his games you dipshit she is taking them until he earns the privledge of playing them back.
If he puts the games in a cabinet take or break open the cabinet. Playing games is not a right. If the kid is truly addicted she is doing him a favor.
Regardless of whether the games are legally "his" or not, taking his games will be "stealing" in his eyes. He is 14 years old, and will approach adulthood pretty soon. He isn't a 4 year old where the parents control everything. If your adult friend engages in addictive or self-destructive behaviour, you do not go to his home and take away his stuff. I think it is better off for the parents in such cases to start treating their teenage offspring a bit more like adults, rather than toddlers.
I read the article again and two things struck me. The incident happened at 2:30 am on a Saturday. That means there is likely no school. I sometimes play games until 2 or 3 if I know I don't need to work the next day.
Secondly, the mother said she will never buy that kind of game for his son. That means the boy probably bought the game himself, or received it as a present from someone else. I think that should be his "property".
You are like 33, the boy is 14. Big difference in bedtimes, I think.
Quote from: Jaron on December 22, 2009, 10:44:07 PM
You are like 33, the boy is 14. Big difference in bedtimes, I think.
I just think that, for a 14 year old boy, playing one of the most popular games on a Friday night at home is really no big deal. My impression is that the mother is more interested in letting him know who is in charge, rather than trying to salvage his son's academic career.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 03:33:16 PM
Quote from: Valmy on December 22, 2009, 03:28:00 PM
She can't just take away his video games? :huh:
Many 14 year old boys are stronger than their mothers.
I am not sure of the accuracy of the article because the version I heard on the radio was that she turned off his game THAN the boy went ballistic which is why she called the police. The article makes it sound like she turned off the game, yelled at the kid, and called the police to for more discipline.
Its a big deal if mama said no. Is there really anything horribly shocking about the mother wanting to be the one in control?
Quote from: Jaron on December 22, 2009, 11:09:06 PM
Its a big deal if mama said no. Is there really anything horribly shocking about the mother wanting to be the one in control?
And you guys call the Chinese authoritarian :contract:
Quote from: Monoriu on December 22, 2009, 10:29:16 PM
Regardless of whether the games are legally "his" or not, taking his games will be "stealing" in his eyes. He is 14 years old, and will approach adulthood pretty soon. He isn't a 4 year old where the parents control everything. If your adult friend engages in addictive or self-destructive behaviour, you do not go to his home and take away his stuff. I think it is better off for the parents in such cases to start treating their teenage offspring a bit more like adults, rather than toddlers.
This is where you are wrong. As long as he acts like a 4 year old, he should be treated like a 4 year old. He is 14, which is not an adult. Not only is he not an adult, he's not even close to adulthood. And yes, at 14 under these circumstances, his mother should control everything.
There is this weird idea by many people without children that teenagers are close to adulthood and should be treated as such, when the reality is that they should be treated in the manner in which they are acting. When they approach a situation like an adult, they should be treated like an adult. When they act like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, then they should be treated as such.
Stepping in and taking the games - whether while he's at school or with him standing in the room - is the parent's right and responsibility. The child has none until he's paying his own way in his own house with his own money.
Quote from: Monoriu on December 22, 2009, 11:23:20 PM
Quote from: Jaron on December 22, 2009, 11:09:06 PM
Its a big deal if mama said no. Is there really anything horribly shocking about the mother wanting to be the one in control?
And you guys call the Chinese authoritarian :contract:
It's called parenting, Mono.
Quote from: Valmy on December 22, 2009, 10:13:16 PM
Quote from: Monoriu on December 22, 2009, 09:55:30 PM
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 22, 2009, 09:48:07 PM
Not really, minors don't really own anything.
Well, first the boy could lock the games in a cabinet or something. That's what I did. Second, if his games were taken away, he will certainly find out, and there will be total war when he does.
Anyway, I think the mother is much more annoyed by the fact that she is disobeyed or ignored, rather than by any real harmful effects of GTA. That's why stealing his games won't achieve the mother's purpose. It won't buy her respect or acknowledgement that she is higher up in the hirarchy. Rather, it is an admission that she has no power over her son, and she has to resort to stealing while he is away.
She is not stealing his games you dipshit she is taking them until he earns the privledge of playing them back.
If he puts the games in a cabinet take or break open the cabinet. Playing games is not a right. If the kid is truly addicted she is doing him a favor.
Dipshit yourself! Mono isn't Tim.
Mono's capable of defending himself, fahdiz.
Valmy has a weird tendency to lash out sometimes at people with insults where the agreement is seemingly impersonal and not that significant. I don't get it, since he is otherwise quite mild-mannered.
Quote from: Peter Wiggin on December 23, 2009, 07:40:20 AM
Mono's capable of defending himself, fahdiz.
:lol:
Dipshits!
Quote from: merithyn on December 23, 2009, 06:19:34 AM
This is where you are wrong. As long as he acts like a 4 year old, he should be treated like a 4 year old. He is 14, which is not an adult. Not only is he not an adult, he's not even close to adulthood. And yes, at 14 under these circumstances, his mother should control everything.
There is this weird idea by many people without children that teenagers are close to adulthood and should be treated as such, when the reality is that they should be treated in the manner in which they are acting. When they approach a situation like an adult, they should be treated like an adult. When they act like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, then they should be treated as such.
Stepping in and taking the games - whether while he's at school or with him standing in the room - is the parent's right and responsibility. The child has none until he's paying his own way in his own house with his own money.
Agreed, well said.
Quote from: merithyn on December 23, 2009, 06:19:34 AM
This is where you are wrong. As long as he acts like a 4 year old, he should be treated like a 4 year old. He is 14, which is not an adult. Not only is he not an adult, he's not even close to adulthood. And yes, at 14 under these circumstances, his mother should control everything.
There is this weird idea by many people without children that teenagers are close to adulthood and should be treated as such, when the reality is that they should be treated in the manner in which they are acting. When they approach a situation like an adult, they should be treated like an adult. When they act like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum, then they should be treated as such.
Stepping in and taking the games - whether while he's at school or with him standing in the room - is the parent's right and responsibility. The child has none until he's paying his own way in his own house with his own money.
This is obviously the most expedient way for a parent. Just say you have the authority, you control his economic lifelines, and therefore he has to do as you say. But have you considered that -
a) Even if you take away his games, a determined teenager has tons of alternative ways to get what he wants. If he can't play GTA in his own place, he can do it in his friend's place. He can do it at any place with a computer. He can run away from his home. He can befriend gangsters just so he can play games. He can play it when you are not at home. He can get another copy. He can download it. He can steal it. And so on. It is useless.
b) Yes, he will probably obey as long as he depends on you. What about when he grows up? If you blackmail him into submission every time, as soon as he doesn't depend on you economically (which will happen sooner or later), there will be no reason left for him to like you.
c) Is taking away the games by force the best way to achieve the goal of stopping the addiction? I am not convinced. I believe there are better ways to achieve that, like persistent dialogue and finding alternative things for him to do. That certainly takes a few hundred times more work than saying "obey me or else".
Quote from: Martinus on December 23, 2009, 08:18:50 AM
Valmy has a weird tendency to lash out sometimes at people with insults where the agreement is seemingly impersonal and not that significant. I don't get it, since he is otherwise quite mild-mannered.
I still like Valmy :hug: