Languish.org

General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Armyknife on September 25, 2009, 11:07:34 AM

Title: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Armyknife on September 25, 2009, 11:07:34 AM
Well that didn't last long, he's been found out.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8274016.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8274016.stm)

QuoteKeeper guilty of moving goalposts

IFK Goteborg goalkeeper Kim Christensen could be in hot water after moving the posts during a Swedish first division game in order to make the goal smaller.

The Danish goalkeeper was caught by TV cameras pushing the posts toward each other before a match against Orebro.

Referee Stefan Johannesson spotted the posts had been moved a few centimetres about 20 minutes into the game and pushed them back into the right place.

Christensen later said he had done the same thing before several other games.

He was spotted using his feet to push the bottom of each post slightly inwards.

The Swedish Football Association is investigating the incident.

"I have never heard anything like this before," said Swedish FA's disciplinary chief Kheneth Tallinger. "It's unique."

IFK Goteborg drew 0-0 with Orebro and top the table on goal difference with just a few weeks of the season to go.

:)
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Valmy on September 25, 2009, 11:11:49 AM
Well he was rather skilled at moving the goal posts in Languish threads.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Caliga on September 25, 2009, 12:04:35 PM
 :lol: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Drakken on September 25, 2009, 12:16:06 PM
Quote from: Valmy on September 25, 2009, 11:11:49 AM
Well he was rather skilled at moving the goal posts in Languish threads.

:face:
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: jimmy olsen on September 25, 2009, 12:55:58 PM
Nice one Mongers. :lol:
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Grey Fox on September 25, 2009, 01:14:26 PM
Quote from: Armyknife on September 25, 2009, 11:07:34 AM
Well that didn't last long, he's been found out.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8274016.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/8274016.stm)

QuoteKeeper guilty of moving goalposts

IFK Goteborg goalkeeper Kim Christensen could be in hot water after moving the posts during a Swedish first division game in order to make the goal smaller.

The Danish goalkeeper was caught by TV cameras pushing the posts toward each other before a match against Orebro.

Referee Stefan Johannesson spotted the posts had been moved a few centimetres about 20 minutes into the game and pushed them back into the right place.

Christensen later said he had done the same thing before several other games.

He was spotted using his feet to push the bottom of each post slightly inwards.

The Swedish Football Association is investigating the incident.

"I have never heard anything like this before," said Swedish FA's disciplinary chief Kheneth Tallinger. "It's unique."

IFK Goteborg drew 0-0 with Orebro and top the table on goal difference with just a few weeks of the season to go.

:)

I don't get it.

Quoted for preservation purposes.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 10:15:48 AM
Not just a few centimeters! See for yourselves, it's a full goal-post-width inwards.  :mad:

http://www.expressen.tv/Sport/allsvenskan/1.1717953/har-myglar-kim-christensen

They have also admitted moving the opposing team's goalposts outwards by kicking at them during offensive corners!

The disciplinary board will reach their decision on October 1st. Christensen better receive a suspension for several games, and IFK Göteborg a reduction of points.

The villains and criminals of IFK Göteborg have already done their best to deny us tickets to the final game of the season. If it is the game to decide who will be champions, as it very well could be, many AIK fans will go there regardless and roam the streets outside the arena. As a student of law I can not not endorse violence, but razing that stinking fish-mongrels-burgh to the ground would certainly allow them to build something less hideously ugly in it's stead.


For those with knowledge of Swedish, some music for your ears:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mg7LnFvMVgM&feature=related
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 10:22:59 AM
For all lovers of justice, I am pleased to announce that IFK Göteborg is down 1-0 against Kalmar :cool:
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 10:41:58 AM
1-1 now, but at least IFK Göteborg got a man sent off for taking a dive, so there's still some hope they get a well-deserved defeat
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 10:43:24 AM
2-1 Kalmar  :yeah:
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 11:07:36 AM
Game over, 2-1 to Kalmar  :thumbsup: which brings us to...


Miglia's Short Introduction to Contemporary Swedish Football (Tm)

While there are also provincial teams of little note, we shall mainly concern ourselves with the big three Stockholm clubs. These are Djurgården, Hammarby, and the oldest and largest, AIK.

Djurgården and Hammarby are both crap, as is evident from their current position in the Swedish league


Pl. Lag      Ma V O F GM IM MS P
1 IFK Göteborg   25 14 5 6 44 19 25 47

2 AIK   24 14 5 5 28 17 11 47
3 Kalmar FF  25 13 6 6 43 26 17 45
4 IF Elfsborg  24 12 7 5 37 31 6 43

5 Örebro SK  24 11 7 6 29 20 9 40

[...]

12 GAIS  24 6 9 9 31 31 0 27
13 IF Brommapojkarna  24 6 6 12 26 41 -15 24

14 Hammarby  24 5 4 15 17 33 -16 19

15 Djurgårdens IF  24 5 4 15 17 44 -27 19
16 Örgryte IS  24 4 5 15 16 40 -24 17


AIK is going for gold, and will lead the league by three points if we win against Djurgården on monday, which we should, seeing as they're crap.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Josquius on September 26, 2009, 11:14:52 AM
That you'd be able to do this to the goalposts in first division Swedish football says more about Swedish football than anything really, I'd think pretty much every pro team here at home has fixed goalposts...


edit- oh shit, I'm in Sweden aren't I.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 11:17:49 AM
All arenas in the top division have their goal-posts fixed except three (or so I'm told) - I don't know why these are the exception.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 26, 2009, 11:29:40 AM
If you're anywhere near Stockholm, you should get your ass to the Swedish National Arena of Råsunda this monday. AIK is fighting for gold, DIF is fighting for their existence, a lot is at stake and the atmosphere will be dense.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: garbon on September 26, 2009, 07:45:50 PM
Is this the Sandbox?
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 28, 2009, 03:19:50 PM
AIK defeated Djurgården today, as expected :cool:

Update on the goal-post issue:
The Swedish climate is not always kind to our football fields, even though we play our seasons from spring to fall and not fall to spring as most other countries, so some teams have turned to artificial grass. Apparently the three arenas in question are ones with artificial grass. Why they for this reason don't have their goal posts fixed I don't know.


Quote from: garbon on September 26, 2009, 07:45:50 PM
Is this the Sandbox?

I suppose, now that you're here... :rolleyes:
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Admiral Yi on September 28, 2009, 03:53:13 PM
I read an interesting short story ages ago (maybe in Sports Illustrated) about a baseball hustler who went town to town challenging local semi-pro teams to money matches, them against himself as pitcher and whatever local high school talent he could pick up.  His trick was to sneak onto the field at night, dig up the pitching mound and move it back a couple feet.  Then he told his pickup batters to sit on fast balls, knowing that all the other guy's offspeed stuff was going to bounce in the dirt way in front of home plate.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Jaron on September 28, 2009, 05:05:07 PM
:lol: Only Europeans get this worked up over something as stupid as soccer.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 28, 2009, 06:06:37 PM
Of course you would never understand; for you sports teams are no more than shallow money-making franchises with rediculous by-names that moves to other towns when they are bought or sold. I wouldn't be able to feel very strongly about that, either. My father signed me in as a member of AIK the day I was born.

And you're the only ones who don't understand football.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Agelastus on September 28, 2009, 06:22:47 PM
Quote from: Jaron on September 28, 2009, 05:05:07 PM
:lol: Only Europeans get this worked up over something as stupid as soccer.

Given the sport's popularity in South and Central America (where two countries fought a brief war over a football match, allegedly) you may want to extend this generalisation to at least one other continent.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Pat on September 28, 2009, 07:04:36 PM
Indeed, and having been in Beijing at the time of the asian championship final between China and Japan I can assure you they take their football seriously as well. At least I found the thousands of riot-gear-clad police marching in square columns outside the arena and the, despite the thousands of riot-gear-clad police, full-scale rioting after the game, indicative of that.


(Though admittedly we had been sold phony tickets and had to see the game from a nearby sports bar after we were denied admittance :blush: And we only read about the rioting in the international press later (there was not a word in the local english-language newspapers).)
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Neil on September 28, 2009, 07:30:31 PM
Quote from: Jaron on September 28, 2009, 05:05:07 PM
:lol: Only Europeans get this worked up over something as stupid as soccer.
Non-whites and scum get worked up about it.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: garbon on September 28, 2009, 08:51:52 PM
Quote from: Neil on September 28, 2009, 07:30:31 PM
Scum get worked up about it.

:hug:

I don't get worked up about soccer.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Valmy on September 28, 2009, 08:58:23 PM
Quote from: Agelastus on September 28, 2009, 06:22:47 PM
Given the sport's popularity in South and Central America (where two countries fought a brief war over a football match, allegedly) you may want to extend this generalisation to at least one other continent.

One area where Venezuela is indeed a superior country.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: Neil on September 28, 2009, 09:31:40 PM
Quote from: garbon on September 28, 2009, 08:51:52 PM
Quote from: Neil on September 28, 2009, 07:30:31 PM
Scum get worked up about it.

:hug:

I don't get worked up about soccer.
Yeah, but you're still non-white.
Title: Re: Hortlund's New Career.
Post by: garbon on September 28, 2009, 09:35:43 PM
Quote from: Neil on September 28, 2009, 09:31:40 PM
Yeah, but you're still non-white.

Which is why I removed that part of your statement. :smarty: