Its the (for some, not too) distant future.
It's your 100th birthday and you're still fit and healthy (well, as much as we get) and look like going for another decade or two.
Everybody wants to know: To what do you owe your amazing longevity?
I've noticed in articles about people living a long time it's often something completely random and weird that they credit for it. I wonder if they really believe it or they're just taking the piss.
So. For mischievous old you, what about yourself would you credit?
For me? It'd be avoiding black (hopefully old=racist won't be a automatic trope people jump to then).
Toast has to be light. Burned bits are to be ruthlessly dissected from sausages and other food. The edges of crisps and chips are to be examined for instances of black before being devoured.
Instances of black
(https://i.giphy.com/media/YG3qalnBXN0pG/giphy.webp)
I'll tell you what I attribute it to if I get there
Being Woke.
Avocado on toast.
Hookers, blow, and gambling.
Posting on languish
Pornhub
Being born in a reasonably affluent society providing me with opportunities to fail upwards (or at least sideways) :P
Coffee every morning, whiskey every night.
Eh, being fit and healthy in a world that's burning down is probably not a great thing. I'd rather just check out early.
Continuance my sentence of karmic retribution from past lives.
Bad luck.