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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Malthus on August 24, 2017, 12:17:07 PM

Title: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Malthus on August 24, 2017, 12:17:07 PM
Personally, I blame Anime. And, of course, Mono.  :P

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/young-chinese-are-too-fat-and-masturbate-too-much-to-pass-army-fitness-tests-a3617881.html

Have fun with this!  :D
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: DontSayBanana on August 24, 2017, 02:14:48 PM
"Abnormally large testicular veins?" :wacko:
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Eddie Teach on August 24, 2017, 02:16:48 PM
I'd prefer to believe Mono never masturbates and you should be ashamed for making a connection.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Josquius on August 24, 2017, 02:34:02 PM
They say the song Turning Japanese was actually referring to masturbation
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: garbon on August 24, 2017, 02:38:52 PM
Quote from: Tyr on August 24, 2017, 02:34:02 PM
They say the song Turning Japanese was actually referring to masturbation

Do you really think so?
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: The Brain on August 24, 2017, 02:59:35 PM
Quote from: Tyr on August 24, 2017, 02:34:02 PM
They say the song Turning Japanese was actually referring to masturbation

The Song weren't very influenced by Japan.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Monoriu on August 24, 2017, 06:45:23 PM
Quote from: Eddie Teach on August 24, 2017, 02:16:48 PM
I'd prefer to believe Mono never masturbates and you should be ashamed for making a connection.

Masturbation is free  :sleep:
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Monoriu on August 24, 2017, 07:00:57 PM
One of the culture shocks I had in Canada was their attitude to mineral water.  I grew up drinking distilled water.  Canadians aren't into it. 
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 24, 2017, 07:57:09 PM
Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, Mandrake? Children's ice cream!...You know when fluoridation began?...1946. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works. I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love...Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I-I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Monoriu on August 24, 2017, 08:13:34 PM
I prefer my water to be pure  :P  If only for the taste. 
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 24, 2017, 08:17:57 PM
He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, fifty years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Monoriu on August 24, 2017, 08:23:53 PM
In HK, it is very easy to find bottled distilled water.  That's what my office dispenses.  I go to the supermarkets, drugstores and convenience stores etc, and I see many different brands of distilled water for sale.  There are a lot more bottles of distilled water for sale than mineral water. 

In Canada and the US, it was very difficult to find any.  They only use it for stuff like cocktail mixing, for very ill patients that require certain types of medication, for car engines etc.  It is only possible to find some in the big drugstores.  In theory I can make distilled water myself but it is probably not too pure given the home environment. 

Water should be pure  :mad:
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 24, 2017, 08:24:49 PM
Could you please fix me a drink of rain water and grain alcohol?
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: jimmy olsen on August 24, 2017, 08:43:42 PM
I wonder what Kubrick would think of Trump and the fact that we look at the generals as the sane ones holding him back  :hmm:
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: DGuller on August 24, 2017, 09:07:40 PM
What do Chinese soldiers do that makes the size of their testicular veins a factor in their suitability for service?
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 24, 2017, 09:32:37 PM
Well, I don't think they wanted me to talk really. I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun, the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 24, 2017, 09:43:41 PM
 In the name of Her Majesty and the Continental Congress, come here and feed me this belt, boy...The Red Coats are coming!
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 24, 2017, 09:44:53 PM
Oh, only commie stooges, huh?
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 24, 2017, 09:46:13 PM
Indeed, I did send out the order for Plan R, R for Robert...yes...yes, I take full responsibility...eh? Oh, no...don't you see, General? The commies...don't you--don't you use Clemenceau on me. The planes...no, it can't be done, Ripper. They are on their way in and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going. There's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all. And godspeed, soldier.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 24, 2017, 10:05:38 PM
I've just pissed my pants...and no one can do anything about it.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 25, 2017, 08:01:16 PM
I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think general Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: CountDeMoney on August 25, 2017, 08:03:48 PM
Johnny Fontane will never get that movie.
Title: Re: Young Chinese are "Too Fat and Masturbate Too Much"
Post by: Ed Anger on August 25, 2017, 08:08:18 PM
I'll get you your money. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you're gonna have to answer to the Coca Cola Company.