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General Category => Off the Record => Topic started by: Razgovory on July 30, 2014, 08:55:26 PM

Title: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Razgovory on July 30, 2014, 08:55:26 PM
Okay, this one is serious.  I've talked about my brother here before, and most of you know I have a fairly negative opinion of him.  He screams and shrieks at my mom, drinks like a fish, and is habitually dishonest.  I'm not allowed to intervene when he fights with my mom, but she's near her wits end with him.  He yells fairly nasty insults at her, (like whore or that she's retarded), and then laughs when she cries.  Unfortunately he recently quit his job and moved back in so the screaming and abuse happens every night.  My mom was downstairs  for a while talking to me (my brother is wise enough not come down into the basement), and she told me something that really disturbed me.  She told me that he had said that I sexually abused him when we were kids.  Naturally this is not true, still I'm rather shaken by it.  Note that he's not made the accusation at me, it was just one of the many things he said to my mom to tell her how everything in his life is bad and it's someone else's fault.  Father uncaring, mother abusive, grandmother hated him etc.  As far as I know, none of that's true.  Still the accusation (even not directly made), bothers me a great deal.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: mongers on July 30, 2014, 09:44:11 PM
Raz some if not many people intentionally try and fuck around inside other peoples minds, it's one of the best forms of control. Usually it's in small trivial ways, rarely it's real nasty as you described.

See it for what it is and don't let it get to you. It highlights their emptiness. Pity him, that's enough.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Caliga on July 31, 2014, 07:07:21 AM
mongers is wise.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: LaCroix on July 31, 2014, 09:03:26 AM
Quote from: mongers on July 30, 2014, 09:44:11 PM
Raz some if not many people intentionally try and fuck around inside other peoples minds, it's one of the best forms of control. Usually it's in small trivial ways, rarely it's real nasty as you described.

See it for what it is and don't let it get to you. It highlights their emptiness. Pity him, that's enough.

pretty much this. assuming he was drunk, he said it because he knew it would affect her greatly, not as an attack against you personally. he would have said anyone's name, but yours was the first that popped into his head. consider it another fight between your mother and brother and nothing more.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Maladict on July 31, 2014, 09:12:17 AM
Quote from: mongers on July 30, 2014, 09:44:11 PM
Raz some if not many people intentionally try and fuck around inside other peoples minds, it's one of the best forms of control. Usually it's in small trivial ways, rarely it's real nasty as you described.

See it for what it is and don't let it get to you. It highlights their emptiness. Pity him, that's enough.

This.
Desperate people can get like that, it can be heart breaking and really disturbing at the same time. But it's not really aimed at you.
Just make sure you don't put yourself in a vulnerable position, if possible.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: garbon on July 31, 2014, 02:40:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on July 31, 2014, 07:07:21 AM
mongers is wise.

:mellow:
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Eddie Teach on July 31, 2014, 02:41:09 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.

How would he go about proving it?
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 02:42:01 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.

It can?  Where?
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Valmy on July 31, 2014, 02:54:24 PM
No wonder Ide refused to take the Bar exam.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 03:05:48 PM
Quote from: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 02:42:01 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.

It can?  Where?

And out of fairness to Ideologue, it turns out that one of the places where it is a criminal offence is Canada.   :sleep:

Quote
s. 300 - every one who publishes a defamatory libel that he knows is false is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years.

SCC even upheld it's constitutionality (but not the section that left of the  words "that he knows is false").

Mind you in 14 years I've never, ever seen it charged.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Razgovory on July 31, 2014, 03:07:01 PM
Quote from: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 02:42:01 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.

It can?  Where?

Poland.

I think Mongers is right, he was just trying to hurt my mom.  He might even have convinced himself it's true, people who lie about stuff often enough sometimes believe their own bullshit. Still, it's not an allegation to throw around lightly.  I don't get along well with my brother, never have.  I've made an effort to be polite and try to understand his problems in recent years.  He makes that very hard to do.  This doesn't help that.  It really hurt me.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Grinning_Colossus on July 31, 2014, 03:07:56 PM
Quote from: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 02:42:01 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.

It can?  Where?

17 states

Quote from: OSCEThere are no federal criminal defamation or insult laws of any kind. On the state level, 17 states and two
territories continue to have criminal defamation laws "on the books".
The following U.S. States and territories have criminal libel statutes:
1. Colorado (Colo. Rev. Stat. § 18-13-105)
2. Florida (Fla. Stat. § 836.01-836.11)
3. Idaho (Idaho Code § 18-4801-18-4809) *
4. Kansas (Kan. Stat. Ann. §21-4004)
5. Louisiana (La. R.S. 14:47)
6. Michigan (Mich. Comp. Laws § 750.370)
7. Minnesota (Miss. Stat. § 609.765)
8. Montana (Mont. Code Ann. § 13-35-234) *
9. New Hampshire (N.H. Rev. Stat Ann. § 644:11)
10. New Mexico (N.M. Stat. Ann. §30-11-1)
11. North Carolina (N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-47)
12. North Dakota (N.D. Cent. Code § 12.1-15-01) *
13. Oklahoma (Okla. Stat. tit. 21 §§ 771-781)
14. Utah (Utah Code Ann. § 76-9-404)
15. Virginia (Va. Code Ann. § 18.2-417)
16. Washington (Wash. Rev. Code 9.58.010) *
17. Wisconsin (Wis. Stats. § 942.01)
18. Puerto Rico (P.R. Laws, tit. 33, §§ 4101-4104)
19. Virgin Islands (Virgin Islands 14 V.I. Code § 1172)

http://www.osce.org/fom/41958 (http://www.osce.org/fom/41958)
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Baron von Schtinkenbutt on July 31, 2014, 03:25:36 PM
Quote from: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 03:05:48 PM
Mind you in 14 years I've never, ever seen it charged.

I imagine it is an extremely difficult charge to stick per criminal standards.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: mongers on July 31, 2014, 04:01:22 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on July 31, 2014, 03:07:01 PM
Quote from: Barrister on July 31, 2014, 02:42:01 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 02:38:41 PM
Slander can be a criminal.offense.

It can?  Where?

Poland.

I think Mongers is right, he was just trying to hurt my mom.  He might even have convinced himself it's true, people who lie about stuff often enough sometimes believe their own bullshit. Still, it's not an allegation to throw around lightly.  I don't get along well with my brother, never have.  I've made an effort to be polite and try to understand his problems in recent years.  He makes that very hard to do.  This doesn't help that.  It really hurt me.

:(

I sympathize and in part can imagine what it must feel like, but I'd try and not take it to heart.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Josquius on July 31, 2014, 04:51:48 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lkhszen6mN1qzjzog.gif&hash=aaa6c81d336fb4880ba97553f50b26f9a81891bc)
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 05:19:21 PM
Quote from: Valmy on July 31, 2014, 02:54:24 PM
No wonder Ide refused to take the Bar exam.

LOL HA HA HEE HEE fuck you.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: LaCroix on July 31, 2014, 05:21:20 PM
but you were still wrong :P
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 05:32:52 PM
I was not.  I said it can be, and is in some places.  It's not in MO, but that was not my claim.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: LaCroix on July 31, 2014, 05:36:23 PM
oh, nm. i was wrong - spoken is included :(
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Ideologue on July 31, 2014, 05:41:46 PM
I'm unsure about the ones that specifically use the word "libel" but see, e.g., Ga. Code Ann. § 16-11-40 (2005):

Quote(a) A person commits the offense of criminal defamation when, without a privilege to do so and with intent to defame another, living or dead, he communicates false matter which tends to blacken the memory of one who is dead or which exposes one who is alive to hatred, contempt, or ridicule, and which tends to provoke a breach of the peace.

(b) A person who violates subsection (a) of this Code section is guilty of a misdemeanor.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Caliga on July 31, 2014, 09:42:20 PM
Quote from: garbon on July 31, 2014, 02:40:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on July 31, 2014, 07:07:21 AM
mongers is wise.

:mellow:
:mellow:
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: garbon on July 31, 2014, 09:46:32 PM
Quote from: Caliga on July 31, 2014, 09:42:20 PM
Quote from: garbon on July 31, 2014, 02:40:41 PM
Quote from: Caliga on July 31, 2014, 07:07:21 AM
mongers is wise.

:mellow:
:mellow:

No, I don't think it is named after you.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Caliga on August 01, 2014, 05:17:32 AM
 :mellow:
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: mongers on August 01, 2014, 02:42:02 PM
Quote from: Caliga on August 01, 2014, 05:17:32 AM
:mellow:

Me too.

I'd have preferred a straight out insult, I know where I am with Garbon then.  :D
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Grallon on August 01, 2014, 06:54:35 PM
Well... now I understand why you're so obsessed with my so called 'pedophilia'...



G.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Razgovory on August 01, 2014, 06:59:45 PM
Also your bigotry and hypocrisy.  It's sort of a trinity of repulsiveness.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Grallon on August 01, 2014, 07:06:24 PM
Call me bigot all you want but a hypocrite?  I think not. 

I was referring to your unhealthy obsession which is now explained by this revelation about you abusing your brother - who - it must be said - is pretty cute if the picture of him you once posted is accurate.



G.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Grinning_Colossus on August 01, 2014, 07:12:23 PM
You're being an ass, Grallon.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Razgovory on August 01, 2014, 07:32:02 PM
Quote from: Grallon on August 01, 2014, 07:06:24 PM
Call me bigot all you want but a hypocrite?  I think not. 

I was referring to your unhealthy obsession which is now explained by this revelation about you abusing your brother - who - it must be said - is pretty cute if the picture of him you once posted is accurate.



G.

Yes, hypocrite.  Demand special rights for your culture and refuse to give those same rights to other cultures, that's a hypocrite.  You are also prone to conspiracy theories if the documentaries you posted here in the past are any indication.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Grallon on August 01, 2014, 10:25:32 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on August 01, 2014, 07:32:02 PM

Yes, hypocrite.  Demand special rights for your culture and refuse to give those same rights to other cultures, that's a hypocrite.


Since you barely grasp what goes on in Quebec I suggest you refrain from commenting.  But do elaborate about that lovely brother of yours, it should prove entertaining.



G.
Title: Re: Something that is bothering me.
Post by: Razgovory on August 01, 2014, 10:36:57 PM
Tell you what, you tell me where you live up there, and I'll take my brother up there.  Or maybe I'll just come up, and we can hash this out.