Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

Started by Barrister, May 17, 2012, 02:47:49 PM

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Syt

Quote from: Barrister on June 10, 2013, 12:46:21 PM
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P
I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.
—Stephen Jay Gould

Proud owner of 42 Zoupa Points.

Malthus

Quote from: Syt on June 10, 2013, 10:25:35 PM
Quote from: Barrister on June 10, 2013, 12:46:21 PM
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P

I've already got a couple of humiliating early childhood anecdotes picked out for Carl's first GF.  :P
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius

merithyn

Quote from: Syt on June 10, 2013, 10:25:35 PM
Quote from: Barrister on June 10, 2013, 12:46:21 PM
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

Me, too. :)
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

crazy canuck

Quote from: Malthus on June 11, 2013, 08:00:14 AM
Quote from: Syt on June 10, 2013, 10:25:35 PM
Quote from: Barrister on June 10, 2013, 12:46:21 PM
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P

I've already got a couple of humiliating early childhood anecdotes picked out for Carl's first GF.  :P

I am keeping mine until his wedding.

Malthus

Quote from: crazy canuck on June 11, 2013, 03:34:05 PM
Quote from: Malthus on June 11, 2013, 08:00:14 AM
Quote from: Syt on June 10, 2013, 10:25:35 PM
Quote from: Barrister on June 10, 2013, 12:46:21 PM
And I have no idea if anyone is interested in these stories or not - I'm mostly posting them here for my own benefit.  I like opening this thread and going over past anecdotes. :)

I like the stories. :)

And they give you a lot of stuff to reminisce on talk about when he brings back his first girlfriend. :P

I've already got a couple of humiliating early childhood anecdotes picked out for Carl's first GF.  :P

I am keeping mine until his wedding.

In that case ... you aren't invited.  :P
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane—Marcus Aurelius


Ed Anger

Back to school shopping(or in the twins case, first time to school shopping)

In smiley format.

Wife: :w00t:

Twins:  :huh:

Me:  :glare:

(At changing room)

Wife:  :)

Katerina:  <_<

Cassandra:  :moon:

Me:  :glare:

Twins:  :mad: :mad:

Me: :ultra:

Twins:  :cry:

Wife:  :(
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

11B4V

"there's a long tradition of insulting people we disagree with here, and I'll be damned if I listen to your entreaties otherwise."-OVB

"Obviously not a Berkut-commanded armored column.  They're not all brewing."- CdM

"We've reached one of our phase lines after the firefight and it smells bad—meaning it's a little bit suspicious... Could be an amb—".

CountDeMoney

So I did a spot of babysitting, as Mommy and Daddy hit a concert last night.
The 9 year old has access to her own computer from the kitchen, all locked down from the seedier side of the internet.
I asked her if it had parental controls on it, and she was all, "Yes, Mommy has parent controls on it, because there's this whole other side of the internet that isn't kid friendly."
I told her I've seen that side of the internet, and she wasn't missing very much.
"Yes, it's totally not age appropriate for me."
I told her it wasn't really age appropriate for me, either.
She said she didn't need it anyway then.  Such a sharp girl.

Ed Anger

Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

Ed Anger

I was watching TV when I heard one of the girls yelling "boogers!". So I get up and quietly 'observe' them. They had one of the iPads and apparently discovered the google voice search. After listening to them yell TURDS and POOP at the iPad and then giggle uncontrollably,I decide to intervene before WIENER and PEE PEE start getting thrown about.

So i pop out of my hiding space and they turn white. First I ask if they got permission to use the iPad. They start looking into space.. Yeah, that answers the question. Then I ask them where they learned those words. FROM YOU DADDY.  :Embarrass:

I decide not to punish them, but give them a talk about not taking things without permission. Then showed them the cannonball dookie and the boogers kid videos on youtube. I became father of the year in their eyes right then.
Stay Alive...Let the Man Drive

CountDeMoney

My sister's been doing "Movie Night" on Saturdays with the niece, the one night they can stay up later and watch movies with Mommy and Daddy.
Last week was Star Wars, and this past Saturday was Empire Strikes Back.
The youngest tried using The Force on Mommy all Sunday.  But Mommy's apparently too heavy.

merithyn

Quote from: Ed Anger on August 05, 2013, 08:21:41 AM
I was watching TV when I heard one of the girls yelling "boogers!". So I get up and quietly 'observe' them. They had one of the iPads and apparently discovered the google voice search. After listening to them yell TURDS and POOP at the iPad and then giggle uncontrollably,I decide to intervene before WIENER and PEE PEE start getting thrown about.

So i pop out of my hiding space and they turn white. First I ask if they got permission to use the iPad. They start looking into space.. Yeah, that answers the question. Then I ask them where they learned those words. FROM YOU DADDY.  :Embarrass:

I decide not to punish them, but give them a talk about not taking things without permission. Then showed them the cannonball dookie and the boogers kid videos on youtube. I became father of the year in their eyes right then.

:D

Remember looking up bad words in the dictionary? :wub:
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

derspiess

Quote from: Ed Anger on August 05, 2013, 08:21:41 AM
I was watching TV when I heard one of the girls yelling "boogers!". So I get up and quietly 'observe' them. They had one of the iPads and apparently discovered the google voice search. After listening to them yell TURDS and POOP at the iPad and then giggle uncontrollably,I decide to intervene before WIENER and PEE PEE start getting thrown about.

So i pop out of my hiding space and they turn white. First I ask if they got permission to use the iPad. They start looking into space.. Yeah, that answers the question. Then I ask them where they learned those words. FROM YOU DADDY.  :Embarrass:

I decide not to punish them, but give them a talk about not taking things without permission. Then showed them the cannonball dookie and the boogers kid videos on youtube. I became father of the year in their eyes right then.

Tommy does that, but without the turning white part-- if anything my presence encourages him using gross words somehow.  I'm guessing that's the difference between boys & girls.
"If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you're a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you."  --Rich Hall