:shifty:
QuoteJACKSONVILLE, NC — Marine Corps officials released the results of a month-long wargame earlier today, claiming that the study has proven women are capable of serving in combat positions.
The wargame, dubbed Operation Irrational Rage, was planned days after Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta opened combat roles to women. Lieutenant Colonel Jordan O'Neil commanded 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, tasked with finding and destroying an enemy outpost hidden somewhere in the countryside. O'Neil was chosen for combat command after distinguishing herself by replacing PT with Zumba classes, outfitting her Marines with different uniforms so no one could argue who wore theirs better, and replacing MRE's with salads and pints of yogurt.
O'Neil organized a long distance recon, during which she made her Executive Officer, Major Brad Gramble, carry her rucksack and open jars. Unconfirmed sources say she also refused to wear camouflage face paint, claiming it didn't match her eyes.
"She also said her feet were hurting," said Gramble, "so she commandeered a Humvee but ended up driving it into a ditch." She screamed in frustration, prompting her Marines to mutter, "must be that time of the month."
Still, there were setbacks.
That night three Marines were killed in a freak bear attack. Only a day later, Private First Class John Metz awoke to find he had been demoted in the night. When he asked why, LtCol O'Neil only responded, "You know what you did." The battalion was ordered not to speak to PFC Metz until he apologized.
The next day LtCol. O'Neil screamed at Maj. Gramble for leaving the seat up on the ammo box used as a toilet. Although he apologized a dozen times, he wasn't forgiven until he found some flowers and gave her his MRE crackers and jalapeño cheese.
Finding the objective, O'Neil and Gramble developed a plan of attack. The battalion prepared to attack at midnight but had to wait three hours for O'Neil to get ready.
O'Neil led the assault and won a crushing victory, demonstrating that women are just as capable in combat as men.
To celebrate the operation's success, LtCol. O'Neil organized a mandatory shopping trip where everyone was ordered to buy several sets of boots they would never wear. While her Marines shopped O'Neil sulked and complained nobody noticed her new haircut.
Lame.
:lmfao:
P.S. Can I claim that as charitable donation?
Incredibly lame.
When attempts at a joke or a pun get so bad, they become good just due to being so bad. Strangely, this doesn't seem to apply for this one: it is a truly horrific attempt at humor, and yet the worse it gets, the worse it gets. :huh:
:lol: Hope you didnt spend too much time thinking about those two sentences.
A female soldier flew in through the window and stole 11B4V's penis.
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 12:54:51 AM
:lol: Hope you didnt spend too much time thinking about those two sentences.
Don't worry about it; the rest of us got DG's point, and if you couldn't, you couldn't. I am sure that you have coping strategies in place to compensate for your lack of reading comprehension.
As an aside, though, I would advise you not to laugh at someone who writes better than you read. If you had just kept your mouth shut, no one would even have known about your deficiency.
Quote from: DGuller on March 11, 2013, 08:08:23 PM
:lmfao:
P.S. Can I claim that as charitable donation?
:lol:
The teacher in me insists on providing the original (insofar as I can tell) source for B4's post:
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/02/wargame-determines-infantry-battalions-commanded-by-female-officers-75-more-likely-to-stop-for-directions-arrive-fashionably-late/
I thought it was pretty funny :)
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 09:55:49 AM
I thought it was pretty funny :)
But then you don't let your wife drive either. :P
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 09:55:49 AM
I thought it was pretty funny :)
Don't be that guy.
Wel actually you sort of embrace being that guy don't you?
Quote from: Valmy on March 12, 2013, 09:59:43 AM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 09:55:49 AM
I thought it was pretty funny :)
Don't be that guy.
Wel actually you sort of embrace being that guy don't you?
Pretty much. Why not?
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 10:19:59 AM
Quote from: Valmy on March 12, 2013, 09:59:43 AM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 09:55:49 AM
I thought it was pretty funny :)
Don't be that guy.
Wel actually you sort of embrace being that guy don't you?
Pretty much. Why not?
The guy is kind of a douchebag, but other than that, no reason why not I guess.
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 10:59:55 AM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 10:19:59 AM
Quote from: Valmy on March 12, 2013, 09:59:43 AM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 09:55:49 AM
I thought it was pretty funny :)
Don't be that guy.
Wel actually you sort of embrace being that guy don't you?
Pretty much. Why not?
The guy is kind of a douchebag, but other than that, no reason why not I guess.
:yawn:
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 10:59:55 AM
The guy is kind of a douchebag, but other than that, no reason why not I guess.
Harsh toke, dude. I think that guy is just otnay ootay ightbray. He comes off sounding like a douchebag because he can't figure out how not to, rather than because he means to.
Quote from: grumbler on March 12, 2013, 06:22:05 AM
The teacher in me insists on providing the original (insofar as I can tell) source for B4's post:
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/02/wargame-determines-infantry-battalions-commanded-by-female-officers-75-more-likely-to-stop-for-directions-arrive-fashionably-late/
:thumbsup:
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/dod-to-charge-admission-fee-for-installations-access-to-fix-budget-shortfalls/
Just the headline is funny on so many levels if you understand it.
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 12:30:35 PM
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/dod-to-charge-admission-fee-for-installations-access-to-fix-budget-shortfalls/
:mellow:
Quote from: Barrister on March 12, 2013, 12:33:41 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 12:30:35 PM
http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/dod-to-charge-admission-fee-for-installations-access-to-fix-budget-shortfalls/
:mellow:
I am in charge over 25 type A personalty cops on Swing shift. The picture of this would be comical.
I thought http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/ (http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/) was the best piece I saw there (in an admittedly short look).
QuoteAs the first hipster soldier, Burns has many wondering if this indicates the presence of an ironic underground counter-counter-culture. While the emphasis has long been on individuality and obscurity, it has now become the norm for many in the younger generation. The Army with its old school conservative values and rigid conformity has long been viewed with disdain by the hipster community.
Yet the military now provides a sanctuary for those looking to buck a now mainstream counter culture.
"I joined the Army before it was cool," Private Burns said.
Quote from: grumbler on March 12, 2013, 12:40:03 PM
I thought http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/ (http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/) was the best piece I saw there (in an admittedly short look).
QuoteAs the first hipster soldier, Burns has many wondering if this indicates the presence of an ironic underground counter-counter-culture. While the emphasis has long been on individuality and obscurity, it has now become the norm for many in the younger generation. The Army with its old school conservative values and rigid conformity has long been viewed with disdain by the hipster community.
Yet the military now provides a sanctuary for those looking to buck a now mainstream counter culture.
"I joined the Army before it was cool," Private Burns said.
:lol:
Quote from: grumbler on March 12, 2013, 12:40:03 PM
I thought http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/ (http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/hipster-joins-army-to-be-ironic/) was the best piece I saw there (in an admittedly short look).
QuoteAs the first hipster soldier, Burns has many wondering if this indicates the presence of an ironic underground counter-counter-culture. While the emphasis has long been on individuality and obscurity, it has now become the norm for many in the younger generation. The Army with its old school conservative values and rigid conformity has long been viewed with disdain by the hipster community.
Yet the military now provides a sanctuary for those looking to buck a now mainstream counter culture.
"I joined the Army before it was cool," Private Burns said.
Heh.
Quote"Second, we will fully expand and fund DTS administration which in itself will save DoD $100,000 over 25 years.
"Then what is leftover will go to developing the new joint service uniform."
When asked what spending cuts DoD will implement, Hagel said, "We have 9 programs that will be cut saving all departments a total of $78,430 in the first 5 years."
Spending cuts include removing horse radish from all DoD dining facilities, reducing programming of the DoD channel to only 23 hours, and eliminating DoD stickers for vehicles entering installations.
The above joking aside. I have heard that TA assistance was cut across the board throughout all the services.
PS: The bolded is true. The CNIC instruction is suppose to take effect 01 April 2013.
Duffelblog is insider humor. It's more miss than hit from a nuance perspective, but the jokes play better with those that know than those that don't.
It's like reading an IT joke; yeah, you may get where the gag about Linux is coming from, but it's not for you anyway.
Nail on the head. :)
Yeah, but not funny is just not funny.
And I don't mean "not funny" in a "OMG that is not a funny thing to make a joke out of" not funny, I mean not funny just plain not funny.
And when your joke is about making fun of women, or blacks, or gays, or whatever stereotype, and it is not funny, then people who like it are generally kind of douchebags - or at least come across that way.
Since if it isn't funny, all that is left is a genuine buy into the stereotype.
Offensive humor can be damn funny, but when it ISN'T even kind of funny, what is left?
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 12, 2013, 01:17:03 PM
Duffelblog is insider humor. It's more miss than hit from a nuance perspective, but the jokes play better with those that know than those that don't.
It's like reading an IT joke; yeah, you may get where the gag about Linux is coming from, but it's not for you anyway.
I can understand that. 11b's second link certainly seemed like it might actually be funny if you were "in the know".
None of that applied to the anti-women-in-combat story though. It was just a bunch of stereotypes about women thinly stitched together.
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
Yeah Spicey knows all of that, it is the most obvious thing in the world, no need to restate it. :P
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
:lmfao: See, now
that's funny. But not in a way you are likely to ever get.
The women commanders thing isn't funny because it isn't at all subtle. It's just the same joke over and over again (take a stereotype about women, and insert it into the battalion "combat" story). For people who don't get subtle jokes at all and kind of resent that fact, this obvious "humor" may be the closest thing to "funny" that they know. That still doesn't make it actually humorous; it just makes their perception that it
is funny in itself.
Never change, grumblie :hug:
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
You seem a bit tense spicey.
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 01:29:49 PM
Yeah, but not funny is just not funny.
And I don't mean "not funny" in a "OMG that is not a funny thing to make a joke out of" not funny, I mean not funny just plain not funny.
And when your joke is about making fun of women, or blacks, or gays, or whatever stereotype, and it is not funny, then people who like it are generally kind of douchebags - or at least come across that way.
Since if it isn't funny, all that is left is a genuine buy into the stereotype.
Offensive humor can be damn funny, but when it ISN'T even kind of funny, what is left?
:rolleyes: :zzz
Quote from: grumbler on March 12, 2013, 06:14:56 AM
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 12:54:51 AM
:lol: Hope you didnt spend too much time thinking about those two sentences.
Don't worry about it; the rest of us got DG's point, and if you couldn't, you couldn't. I am sure that you have coping strategies in place to compensate for your lack of reading comprehension.
As an aside, though, I would advise you not to laugh at someone who writes better than you read. If you had just kept your mouth shut, no one would even have known about your deficiency.
Oh, so harsh. :lol: GFYS
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 02:26:08 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:21:45 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
You seem a bit tense spicey.
Maybe. But you're always tense.
See, that is just it - the reality is that I am NEVER tense.
I still don't really get why, but it is a consistent observation.
Probably just because I am a bit of a douchebag myself.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fk7mepUe.jpg&hash=dbcffe0ed2b9eeeacadb28ab90178edad495cb4d)
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.themetapicture.com%2Fmedia%2Ffunny-women-dates.jpg&hash=17c7e49b47cc7b8792afb752f843bea410d42a7d)
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 12, 2013, 02:49:15 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fk7mepUe.jpg&hash=dbcffe0ed2b9eeeacadb28ab90178edad495cb4d)
It's not as good a picture as the male one. I can't even tell if she's even annoyed.
Quote from: Ed Anger on March 12, 2013, 02:49:15 PM
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fk7mepUe.jpg&hash=dbcffe0ed2b9eeeacadb28ab90178edad495cb4d)
Doable
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:46:57 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 02:26:08 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:21:45 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
You seem a bit tense spicey.
Maybe. But you're always tense.
See, that is just it - the reality is that I am NEVER tense.
I still don't really get why, but it is a consistent observation.
Probably just because I am a bit of a douchebag myself.
When you argue you usually appear to be all worked-up.
Quote from: Razgovory link=topic=9496.msg549191#msg549191 date=
It's not as good a picture as the male one. I can't even tell if she's even annoyed.
You can never tell. That is what makes them unsuited for power.
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 03:00:51 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:46:57 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 02:26:08 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:21:45 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
You seem a bit tense spicey.
Maybe. But you're always tense.
See, that is just it - the reality is that I am NEVER tense.
I still don't really get why, but it is a consistent observation.
Probably just because I am a bit of a douchebag myself.
When you argue you usually appear to be all worked-up.
I know - or rather, enough people say so that it almost certainly has to be true. I don't see it myself.
But the reality is that I am never really worked up. If I actually get annoyed, I don't post at all.
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:46:57 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 02:26:08 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:21:45 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
You seem a bit tense spicey.
Maybe. But you're always tense.
See, that is just it - the reality is that I am NEVER tense.
I still don't really get why, but it is a consistent observation.
Probably just because I am a bit of a douchebag myself.
I disagree, douchebaggery doesnt become you.
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 04:12:24 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:46:57 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 02:26:08 PM
Quote from: Berkut on March 12, 2013, 02:21:45 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 12, 2013, 01:42:36 PM
FFS, get over yourself, Berkut.
You seem a bit tense spicey.
Maybe. But you're always tense.
See, that is just it - the reality is that I am NEVER tense.
I still don't really get why, but it is a consistent observation.
Probably just because I am a bit of a douchebag myself.
I disagree, douchebaggery doesnt become you.
I disagree - when Berkut is on his game, he can be a very entertaining douchebag. :)
His self-analysis is right - he is being a douchebag, but at least he is an amusing one.
I havent seen anything from him, that would label Berkut a douchebag on any level.
IMO, Berkut does come across as a strong Type A personality, with all the positives and negatives associated with it.
Can't we all get along? The joke wasn't funny and Berk is a douche.
Berkut's main problem is his inability to let things rest. When he feels somebody's weaseled out on a particular point he'll keep harping on it long after everyone else has moved on.
Berkut only keeps going after the weaselers as long as they keep weaseling. I do the same. That's often the most fun part of any discussion! :D
People like PW have only themselves to blame when they keep reading on in what has become essentially a two-person conversation, and then try to make themselves feel better by tossing in comments about how stupid it is for the weasel-hunter to keep hunting weasels. I always enjoy the fury of posters like him, because the fury is so completely misplaced. Berkut and I have the excuse that we are having fun, but Pete's only excuse for continuing to read and post is... well, actually, I have no idea why he does it. Masochism, perhaps. :hmm:
Quote from: DGuller on March 12, 2013, 05:49:45 PM
IMO, Berkut does come across as a strong Type A personality, with all the positives and negatives associated with it.
Oooh, what's my personality grade?
"passively aggressive, or aggressively passive, which is right for you?"
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 09:13:15 PM
Quote from: DGuller on March 12, 2013, 05:49:45 PM
IMO, Berkut does come across as a strong Type A personality, with all the positives and negatives associated with it.
Oooh, what's my personality grade?
"passively aggressive, or aggressively passive, which is right for you?"
C-.
Quote from: DGuller on March 12, 2013, 10:03:11 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 09:13:15 PM
Quote from: DGuller on March 12, 2013, 05:49:45 PM
IMO, Berkut does come across as a strong Type A personality, with all the positives and negatives associated with it.
Oooh, what's my personality grade?
"passively aggressive, or aggressively passive, which is right for you?"
C-.
:lol: here you go Raz. You been graded.
QuoteType C personality traits
Type C personalities love details and can spend a lot of time trying to find out how things work and this makes them very suitable for technical jobs. Type C are not assertive at all and they always suppress their own desires even if there is something that they dislike. The lack of assertiveness results in tremendous stress and sometimes in depression. Type Cs are very vulnerable to depression compared to type A and type B. To know more about type C personality read this article.
Type D personality traits
D stands for distressed, Type D's have a negative outlook towards life and are pessimistic. A small event that is not even noticed by type B can ruin type D's day.
Type D might become socially withdrawn as a result of fear of rejection even if they like to be around people. T
Type D's are famous for suppressing their emotions and this makes them the most vulnerable type to depression. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that one of the famous causes for depression is suppressing your emotions for long periods of time without venting them someway. To read more about the Type D personality check this link.
Who are you quoting? Also there's not enough hit people with sticks in the description.
http://www.2knowmyself.com/a_b_c_d_personality_type
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 10:43:05 PM
Also there's not enough hit people with sticks in the description.
That might be a psychosis or something. Kind of like grumbler's usual posts.
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 10:46:02 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 10:43:05 PM
Also there's not enough hit people with sticks in the description.
That might be a psychosis or something. Kind of like grumbler's usual posts.
Now that I got in spades. Just last night I had the strange urge to cut open my chest so I could scrape the stress out. True story. :)
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 11:11:08 PM
Quote from: 11B4V on March 12, 2013, 10:46:02 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 10:43:05 PM
Also there's not enough hit people with sticks in the description.
That might be a psychosis or something. Kind of like grumbler's usual posts.
Now that I got in spades. Just last night I had the strange urge to cut open my chest so I could scrape the stress out. True story. :)
Go down to your local Korean Steam & Cream. They'll take care of that stress.
There is no such place in Rat's ass Missouri.
Quote from: grumbler on March 12, 2013, 09:04:10 PM
Berkut only keeps going after the weaselers as long as they keep weaseling. I do the same. That's often the most fun part of any discussion! :D
People like PW have only themselves to blame when they keep reading on in what has become essentially a two-person conversation, and then try to make themselves feel better by tossing in comments about how stupid it is for the weasel-hunter to keep hunting weasels. I always enjoy the fury of posters like him, because the fury is so completely misplaced. Berkut and I have the excuse that we are having fun, but Pete's only excuse for continuing to read and post is... well, actually, I have no idea why he does it. Masochism, perhaps. :hmm:
We have a PM system for that. :smarty:
QuoteBad jokes, name calling, and personality types. General douchebaggery Languish
Edited for succinctness.
I rarely use the PM system. I just use it to send weird poems to Berkut and Grumbler. Privately they are very supportive, though they feel they must hide it on the OT.
:lol:
Quote from: DontSayBanana on March 12, 2013, 11:26:29 PM
QuoteBad jokes, name calling, and personality types. General douchebaggery Languish
Edited for succinctness.
:huh: :D
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 11:28:13 PM
I rarely use the PM system. I just use it to send weird poems to Berkut and Grumbler. Privately they are very supportive, though they feel they must hide it on the OT.
:lol:
Excellent.
Quote from: DontSayBanana on March 12, 2013, 11:26:29 PM
QuoteBad jokes, name calling, and personality types. General douchebaggery Languish
Edited for succinctness.
Yeah, great editing there.
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 11:22:24 PM
There is no such place in Rat's ass Missouri.
Yeah, but it's a pretty good description of the whole state.
Quote from: dps on March 13, 2013, 12:47:40 AM
Quote from: Razgovory on March 12, 2013, 11:22:24 PM
There is no such place in Rat's ass Missouri.
Yeah, but it's a pretty good description of the whole state.
I stole it from The Mystery Science theater 3000 movie.