... wherein I play CKII for the first time; and possibly more times after that. Here we go.
QuoteI am Sigurd Snake-in-Eye. I am 27 years old and I am the King of Sjaelland. Some say I am merely a petty king. Hah! I will show such backbiters how petty I am should they dare face me.
I am a pagan as were my fathers before me and can take up to three concubines. It is easy to wage wars, but my vassals are rambunctious and prone to rebellion and other misadventures. We will see about that. I will rule my women and my vassals alike with great kindness or cold steel as they themselves deserve it.
As an offensive pagan (offensive is right!) I can wage wars easily, loot nearby realms, sail the rivers, and carry out one prepared invasion in my life.
But first, let me introduce my family:
My queen, Blaeja, doesn't like me (-13), while I apparently hate her (-73). Perhaps it is because she is an Anglo-Saxon Catholic. Though as the daughter of the King of Northumbria, I assume the marriage was the result of an agreement, not an abduction. We have one son, Knud, who luckily doesn't hate me.
Still, an unwelcoming marriage bed is not good for a man. Let's investigate the concubine options... there is only one at court. Sif, named after Thor's wife, in spite of having brown hair. She is sixteen (ten years younger than my , she likes me (51), she is pagan, she is a competent schemer and diplomat. Sif will do. On January 1st, 867, Sif pops into my bed [first in-game action, pre-any unpausing].
I have three brothers, petty kings of Sudreyjar, Svidjod and Jorvik. They are all in their 40s, we all like each other and we are allies. I wonder how that will work out. I also have a younger half-brother.
Anyhow, young Knud needs a guardian... I spent 20 minutes trying to send him off to one of my brothers, but it appears the only option is to have him educated at home... so now I have to pick a courtier to educate my only son.
One upshot of my investigations is that I realize I could have secured a concubine from another court. It seems that each of my brothers have a 16 year old courtier as well at their courts. However, Sif has the best stats so I do not regret my choice; nor am I tempted to take another concubine just yet.
Scene: SIGURD and SIF in bed, naked and relaxing.
SIF: Why "snake in the EYE" my lord? Seems to me you know of better places to put it...
SIGURD: ...
SIF: Why so glum, my lord? Are you not pleased?
SIGURD: I am very pleased, sweetling, but I'm thinking about my wife...
SIF: As was I, my lord. As was I.
SIGURD: ...why aren't we getting along?
SIF: Could it be that you are at war with her father and brother?
SIGURD: I am? Oh right. I am. Do you think that could be it? I mean, I don't even have any troops in Britain... true, my brothers have an army of seventeen thousand or so... do you really think that's it? Women can be so sensitive sometimes....QuoteSo there you have it. My brothers and I are at war with all the English, including my in-laws. I am contemplating two courses of action.
One, to gather my troops and head to England. With seventeen thousand allied soldiers rampaging around, it seems as if there ought to be opportunities to loot and gain land.
Two, to try to take and hold the three provinces of Jutland, and establish the Kingdom of Denmark.
... what say you?
A quick overview:
Yours truly, Sigurd Snake-in-the-Eye:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FCMC3RPX.png&hash=881d1a25e7cb2d40cc125500c1eefd0aa2aa258e)
My Steward - Styrbjorn - the newly appointed guardian of young Knud:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F4qZrgTX.png&hash=37cf8ae126983b7237283969bed972bff5a9f0ff)
The realm. Jylland should be mine, as you can tell from the red colour:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FlcCdlfE.png&hash=679fd1e4fec2ec0a03800da4a291a4af2dc44560)
The situation in England:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FCeJBcb6.png&hash=27087c7bf403c509eacc5d4351d1258e3a61ddbe)
My In-laws are in Northumberland. My brothers in Jorvik with 17766 friends. We are also at war with Mercia, East Anglia, and Wessex.
Definitely the best-positioned Viking to reform the Norse faith within his lifetime.
QuoteAnd so, fresh from the bed of my concubine, I have made a number of decisions.
Styrbjorn is to be the guardian of my son. Styrbjorn is competent in military matters and administration, so hopefully some of that will pass on to young Knud. However, Styrbjorn is not just a glorified child minder; I send him to improve the efficiency of the tax system in Sjaelland. Being an ambitious ruler is not cheap, especially if your first ambition is to amass 500 gold (especially when your treasury has 66 gold, and you earn 3.13 a month).
Holmger, my Chancellor, is sent to Slesvig to spread dissent in preparation for the eventual invasion. Arni, my Marshal, is set to train troops in Sjaelland; I expect there will be fighting. Borkward, my spymaster, is sent to Luneburg to study technology. Last, and probably least, the second Styrbjorn on my council - my Seer - goes to work to research cultural technology.
I also raise my personal levies, fleet (25 ships) and army (1070), with a cost higher than my income. That 500 gold seems far away. I wonder if raiding is more profitable than conquest...
Quote from: Zanza on June 05, 2014, 12:24:11 PM
Definitely the best-positioned Viking to reform the Norse faith within his lifetime.
How many centres do I need to control to do that? 3?
And I assume to do that I should aim to control Zeeland and Braunshweig, rather than get into it with my fellow Norse?
Other than controlling the holy sites, are there other requirements, like gold?
Also... what are some good strategies for getting gold?
Quote from: Jacob on June 05, 2014, 12:30:00 PM
Also... what are some good strategies for getting gold?
Go a-pillaging!
:yes:
Rape the SHIT out of the Catholics. You will be rolling in the dough. Also, your vassals get mad if you don't pillage and fight wars pretty much constantly as a Norseman.
QuoteSome say I am merely a petty king
And some dont even bother adding the word King. :P
Will Snake in the Eye prove them wrong?
QuoteHaving gathered my personal retinue and ships, I set the course for Frisian lands with a quick stop in Bremen. It is a pleasure to see my ships fill up.
While I'm away, I'm informed that my Queen is plotting to kill one of my vassals. That's a bit of nonsense, and it appears I can throw her into prison with little consequence (except, perhaps, her feelings towards me)... I give the orders, and indeed she is displeased as she is thrown into prison (-71). I instruct the warden to make sure she is comfortable, she is my wife after all... no need for her to suffer while I weigh the various options - execution, exile, divorce.
The raids are going well enough as I work my way down the coast, hopping back into my ships whenever armies begin to form. Though when I cross the channel, an outbreak of disease kills a few too many of my men for my liking. Wash your hands, dammit!
After that, we hop across the Channel again to Rouen where we find and defeat a small Angevin army. My ships now hold 63 gold out of 250 possible, and 958 warriors remain out of the 1070 who set out with me.
Many small armies spring up around me. Should I keep raiding here? I elect to continue, since none of them seem to be coming for me, but rather they are headed up river to Paris. More armies are formed, apparently marshalling in Paris and Brugge. I am also mildly perturbed by reports that the petty king of Jylland has raised an army of more than 3000 men. I order the ships to keep close, just in case.
In international news, my ships report Frankish vassals fighting amongst themselves; I guess they weren't mustering to deal with us. My brothers are occupying a few counties belonging to my in-laws (for now) and other English rulers. There was also something about some Magyars settling somewhere, but they are far away. Maybe I'll raid them one day.
We spend Yuletime raiding in Sussex. It is very nice there, though I decide to return once my ships hold 100 gold.
A view of the fighing. My army is in Sussex, with my ships in the Strait of Dover:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FaGs58Uv.jpg&hash=ccb93a84ce5f97f21860a57eef6da3df49ffd354)
It's a good start. Make sure to become a real king as soon as possible, else your heirs will be fucked by gavelkind.
QuoteAfter Yuletide in the year the Christ-lovers call 870 I return home from my second viking journey. My holds are almost full, and I have achieved my ambition of amassing 500 gold.
Serious decisions await me.
I have declared my ambition to be King of Denmark. My plan was to conquer the one Danish county on Slavic hands, which would give me enough holdings to make the claim. Alas, Bacsecg, Petty King of Jylland, is moving to invade as I return home. And, it seems, I need some sort of reason to invade... I thought as a viking I could just go and take it. He will get there first.
This means that I will likely have to fight and defeat Bacsecg rather than offer him vassalage. What path do I take? When do I strike? Where? It seems he can field about 3-4000 soldiers; he brought more in a planned invasion of England where he established a strong realm.
Speaking of England, both of my brothers have established Kingdoms there. My father-in-law was imprisoned by my brother, and executed a little later. This brought my mother-in-law to my court. I'm considering divorcing Blaeja, freeing her and then taking both her and her mother to be my concubines... thought perhaps that is too twisted?
Or I could imprison my mother-in-law too, and sacrifice them both to the gods in a great blot. Still, that doesn't sit well with me... I'd rather sacrifice warriors, all told.
As for my brothers - Ivar has established a petty Kingdom in Lothian, Halfdan is petty King in Mercia, and Bjorn is moving to consolidate Svidjod into the Kingdom of Sweden.
It seems I have spent too long following my greed and raiding. The time to strike may have passed already, but strike I must. But how?
If you have 500+ gold then hire some mercenaries.
Hey Jake, what's your opinion so far?
Quote from: Razgovory on June 07, 2014, 02:59:35 AM
Hey Jake, what's your opinion so far?
Really having a good time. The various characters add an rpg element which I find immensely enjoyable.
I think that CK2 is the best game Paradox ever released. It was awesome at release, and after two years it's still immensely enjoyable (and obviously the expansions helped to keep things fresh - it's practically CK3 at this point), and a ridiculously replayable game, because its countless moving parts (= characters) will create different outcomes every time.
Sure, there's optimal ways to play the game, and some event choices are no-brainers, but I find RPing my char (would my ambitious/wroth character really let that insult slide?) much more interesting.
Two women occupying my thoughts.
My mother-in-law. She doesn't like me, her husband killed my father by throwing him into a pit of snakes and thus precipitating the doom of the English kingdoms. But she isn't bad looking for 43 years old, and she's at my court.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FYCz8GKJ.png&hash=5d7a1339465653dbade5662273cc05c458673a29)
Hafrid is a young woman at Petty King Bagsecg's court. She is not a looker, but she may prove worthwhile.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FtJeoGtL.png&hash=75d0a1098dc030ea2575f775b587985d159fd4c0)
She really isn't a looker. Is that a 'stache I see?
Scene: Woodlands North of Hafn, sunset. SIGURDR is talking to ARNI, his marshal, and BORKVARD his spymaster. Further off, members of the royal hunting party are dressing the game of the day.
SIGURDR: I hear you've been raiding on your own account, Arni.
ARNI: I have my lord. It has gone well too. More than 100 gold.
SIGURDR: Competent. That is good a quality. Or lucky, but that is also good.
Arni nods, smiling at Borkvard. Borkvard rolls his eyes.
SIGURDR: Call the levies. When they are assembled, we head for Jylland. I have already sent word to my brothers.
BORKVARD: It is war, then.
SIGURDR: It is. And murder. See if you get someone to stick a knife in Bagsegc's kidneys or burn him while he is in a barn or something. It would make things a lot easier.
BORKVARD: I will do what I can.
ARNI: I wish you luck.
SIGURDR stifles a smile: Borkvard, I know you would like to get married.
BORKVARD: That is true.
SIGURDR: I understand. Fucking for sport is all well and good, but a man needs a good wife by his side...
The king gazes at the Western horizon, lost in thought. The red blotches fade, and the retainers start lighting torches, one by one, to ward against the oncoming darkness.
SIGURDR: Years ago, when I visited Ribe, Bagsecg had a girl at court. Her name was Hafrid. She'll be sixteen or seventeen now, and in need of a man. She had a quality to her... it strikes me that you'd make a good match, now that she is old enough. You should speak with her.
BORKVARD: I will my lord, thank you. I will go immediately to Randers.
Borkvard leaves.
ARNI: May I ask, my lord, what quality?
SIGURDR: Like our friend, she has a kind heart...
Arni arches his eyebrow.
SIGURDR: ... and she was a great liar. You should have heard the stories she told.
Borkvard, my spymaster. It is not evident from the picture, but he has a harelip. Perhaps that is why he has grown that moustache.
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FXFOfv4A.png&hash=daec51e7f8df1b56619c67a28dd4b20b58677539)
Scene: Army camp outside the walls of Randers in Jylland, early morning. Sigurdr's followers are getting ready for another day of besieging the town, bolstered by Lithuanian mercenaries and contingents from the king's brothers - Bjorn the king of Svidjod and Halfdan the king of Jorvik.
SIGURDR is speaking to his chief captains, SORKVER and SKIRGAILA the Lithuanian as well as the leaders of the allied contingents, the mayors FRODI and HEMMING.
SKIRGAILA: The scouts say Bagsecg's army comes. Two days. Maybe 4000.
FRODI: That's about our number.
SIGURDR: What about my brother? Ivar of Sudreyjar? Are his men amongst them?
SKIRGAILA: About half.
SIGURDR: By Thor's giant red cock! May Fenris eat their entrails and shit them out in the cribs of their orphaned children!
HEMMING: That's... uh...
SIGURDR: I mean, I know that Bagsecg is his son-in-law, and that they were helping him against the Wendish bastards, but you'd think the feckless fat-faced fuckers would notice that they'd marched the length of Holstein, Slesvig, and Jylland and are facing off against all of Ivar's brothers and not a bunch Svantevit sucking Obotrites!
HEMMING: Well... Bjorn and Halfdan aren't here...
SIGURDR: That's not the point. The point is that we're going to have to butcher them in great numbers when we should be hunting and getting drunk together. We're allies, by Sif's great golden cunt!
Skirgaila looks at Sorkver, Sorkver shrugs.
SIGURDR: The goddess Sif. Thor's wife. She has golden hair. My Sif is brown, in case you didn't notice. But enough about women and gods. We have a battle to fight...
...
Scene: Evening a day hence, in Sigurdr's tent. SIGURDR, cup in hand, and BORKVARD are talking.
SIGURDR: Bagsecg still lives.
BORKVARD: True, my lord. It has only been a fortnight.
SIGURDR: Fair enough. Though it may be moot in a few days. The issue will be settled on the field, with the Valkyries bearing witness.
BORKVARD: Hafrid agreed to aid us against Bagsecg.
SIGURDR: Good. If we lose tomorrow, I still want him dead. Did you bed her?
BORKVARD: ... no.
SIGURDR: Oh? Why not?
BORKVARD: There wasn't enough time...
SIGURDR: I will not make the obvious jest here. I assume you were working hard on my behalf.
BORKVARD: Indeed. I returned to Ringsted afterwards. I have word from Sif. She is with child.
SIGURDR: Another reason to win tomorrow.
Sigurdrd empties his cup.
Quote from: Norgy on June 07, 2014, 03:45:03 PM
She really isn't a looker. Is that a 'stache I see?
Looks like Dana Carvey as the Church Lady.
Quote from: Ed Anger on June 07, 2014, 07:17:13 PM
Quote from: Norgy on June 07, 2014, 03:45:03 PM
She really isn't a looker. Is that a 'stache I see?
Looks like Dana Carvey as the Church Lady.
Yeah, initially I was all "you help me murder the fucker, and I'll make you concubine #2"... but then I had a look at her, and I thought she was better suited for the harelipped spymaster.
QuoteWe won.
There were two battles. We ran Bacsecg out of Jylland, and caught him again in Slesvig. He yielded, and is now holds Holstein as my vassal. I have not called off the plot against him.
To my surprise, I also took over Bacsecg's English realm. I did not expect that. I now rule ten counties in England, as many as I do in the Norse realms; nine in Denmark, one in Sweden.
I still haven't decided what to do with my wife. I don't want to keep her locked up forever.
There are many possible roads to take... I could work on England. In fact, I could usurp the title to the petty kingdom of Jorvik, but that would be unfaithful against the brother who helped me gain Denmark.
The options before me are to start in on Norway to lay the foundations for a Scandinavian empire.
I could attack either of the Frankish Kingdoms, aiming to wrest control of Norse sacred sites and reform the Norse faith. There is a Norse sacred site in Norway as well.
Or I could take steps to enlarge my new realm in England, and perhaps one day claim that crown.
But first I need money. There are two titles I can create - the Duchy of Mercia (180 gold) and the Kingdom of Denmark (380 gold). A divorce will cost me 33 gold. I wouldn't mind raising a runestone either (100 gold) and hold a great blot (50 gold, though I still don't want to sacrifice Knud's mother). It wouldn't be amiss to have a few hundred gold in reserve to hire mercenaries, if something goes askew somewhere, and I'd like to start a retinue too. Right now, I have 78 gold, and about 500 mercenaries still on my payroll.
... and I do need at least one more concubine or a new wife. This one-woman-only thing is wearing me down.
Denmark is mine. You can see Bacsecg's scattered forces, though most of them are my brother's vassals. In the North, you can see the army of another brother trying to unify Sweden:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F60gA2zn.png&hash=5edae47e4603fd4862a102018984b55f558d6d95)
And here you can see the ten English counties I now hold. I wonder what will come of that:
(https://languish.org/forums/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FUzZpRx8.png&hash=956935affc86507c1e62f05f212b99fa1c4e986c)
Reform the faith!
Blot the living hell out of them. Plus you'll get a short term boost on vassal opinion.
Okay, can anyone explain to me how one of my core counties (Skane), part of my own duchy in fact, suddenly is the Jarldom of Holland and party of the Kingdom of Lotharingia?
It looks like my vassal went off and conquered some bits of Lotharingia and became their vassal that way, taking my county with him...
... is that something that happens commonly, is that something that can be prevented, and is there a way to get it back without fighting a war with Lotharingia over the one measly county?
You're still a Duke right?
If a vassal manages to become equal in status to their lord through conquest, inheritance or is awarded the rank by a king/emperor, then he is independent of you. A duke can't by the vassal of another duke.
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 12, 2014, 12:12:30 AM
You're still a Duke right?
If a vassal manages to become equal in status to their lord through conquest, inheritance or is awarded the rank by a king/emperor, then he is independent of you. A duke can't by the vassal of another duke.
Nope, I'm King of Denmark... though I suppose it might have happened before that, and I didn't notice... though, is a "petty King" the same as a duke?
Quote from: Jacob on June 12, 2014, 10:35:13 AM
Quote from: jimmy olsen on June 12, 2014, 12:12:30 AM
You're still a Duke right?
If a vassal manages to become equal in status to their lord through conquest, inheritance or is awarded the rank by a king/emperor, then he is independent of you. A duke can't by the vassal of another duke.
Nope, I'm King of Denmark... though I suppose it might have happened before that, and I didn't notice... though, is a "petty King" the same as a duke?
Yes, a petty king is a duke.
Could have passed outside your realm through inheritance.
A vassal can rise the rank of petty king and no longer be the vassal of another petty king without a war. It just sort of happens.
You can't create or (I think) usurp a title of the same sank as the highest title of your liege. There may be other ways of doing it though.
Quote from: Maximus on June 12, 2014, 01:54:51 PM
You can't create or (I think) usurp a title of the same sank as the highest title of your liege. There may be other ways of doing it though.
I accidentally did when I was an Earl in Wessex. I had conquered Cornwall and "Boom", no longer a vassal.
So I learned a few things in my first two playthroughs...
This time, I'm doing Haesteinn of Nantes in Ironman mode.
It's a little too much work to post updates in forum posts, but if any of you care I'm doing a tumblr log here: https://www.tumblr.com/customize/haesteining?redirect_to=/blog/haesteining
Jake - here's a better link. http://haesteining.tumblr.com/
The one you gave requires someone to have a tumblr account/log-in to view.
Also your tumblr is doing something odd. It is stretching the images sizes - so that when you click on an image, it shows up as correctly sized smaller image but the default is something that has been stretched and more pixely.
Quote from: garbon on July 02, 2014, 04:58:52 PM
Jake - here's a better link. http://haesteining.tumblr.com/
The one you gave requires someone to have a tumblr account/log-in to view.
Thanks!
I've never used tumblr before... it shows, I guess :blush:
Not sure what to do about the stretchy image.
So tumblr... it's really easy to post stuff to it, which is great. It means there is actually a reasonable chance I'll keep it up, unlike an AAR on a message board for example.
I guess the downside is that if you start reading it or follow it intermittently you always get the most recent post so the continuity is usually backwards... which is less than ideal.
Of course, that assumes anyone reads it which is probably unlikely :lol:
According to this, if posts are tagged then one can just add that tag and "chrono" to end of link to see in forwards order?
http://what-the-fuck-is-homestuck.tumblr.com/post/13894438604/how-to-read-a-tumblr-in-chronological-order-a-simple
Quote from: garbon on July 04, 2014, 02:57:25 PM
According to this, if posts are tagged then one can just add that tag and "chrono" to end of link to see in forwards order?
http://what-the-fuck-is-homestuck.tumblr.com/post/13894438604/how-to-read-a-tumblr-in-chronological-order-a-simple
:hug:
That totally works!
So... if anyone cares to follow along, the chronicle (chronologically) starts here: http://haesteining.tumblr.com/tagged/part01/chrono