Would you consider your spouse getting fat a good reason for divorce?

Started by MadImmortalMan, March 13, 2013, 03:42:49 PM

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Assuming he/she wasn't fat when you married.

Yes
30 (60%)
No
13 (26%)
I'll have a Jumbo Jack with extra ketchup, large fries and a Diet Coke
7 (14%)

Total Members Voted: 49

Ideologue

Quote from: merithyn on March 18, 2013, 02:17:18 PM
Quote from: derspiess on March 18, 2013, 02:11:02 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 18, 2013, 02:08:16 PM
Well this is begging the question - is 200lb on a woman "pretty obese"?

Maybe depends on the height, but I'd say yes.

:rolleyes:

C'mon, dude.  I'm a male, 5'10", and I weigh somewhere between 170-175 pounds (for now, only for now).  I don't like my own weight.  I'm by no means fat-fat, but it's just not good mojo.  I'll grant that I don't possess a ton of muscle mass, but even if I was seriously beefy, unless I had a considerable body fat percentage, I still don't think I would weigh 200 pounds.

So isn't really more likely that a 200 pound woman at say 5'5" is going to be obese, rather than just a little pleasantly plump?  Okay, maybe she's just built like a main battle tank and that's why she's not allowed to cross many highway bridges, but is that really probable enough to argue a point with?
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

Ideologue

Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 18, 2013, 02:23:02 PM
Quote from: Valmy on March 18, 2013, 02:05:39 PM
'Fat' is generally not 'somewhat overweight' unless you have the mental pathology of Ide. 

Ide likes 'em like the highway from Dallas to Fort Worth:  no curves.

I don't have a pathology.

Quote from: fahdiz on March 18, 2013, 07:18:41 PM
Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 18, 2013, 06:59:18 PM
Quote from: Malthus on March 18, 2013, 05:14:42 PM
The ones who aren't interested in you at all cost $200. 

But the ones that are really, truly interested in you cost half of all your stuff, eventually. :P

On a long enough timeline, it's all extortion.

The difference between a comedy and a tragedy is where you end the movie.

However, you're all misogynists.  Unlike me. :)
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

CountDeMoney


Razgovory

I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

CountDeMoney

Quote from: Razgovory on March 18, 2013, 08:52:37 PM
Sorry Ide, but you are kinda crazy.

No, you're crazy.  He's just young and sometimes stupid.  Big difference.

Ideologue

Quote from: CountDeMoney on March 18, 2013, 08:49:02 PM
Quote from: Ideologue on March 18, 2013, 08:28:09 PM
I don't have a pathology.


Ooooooh, yes you do.

No.  A pathology would get in my way.  Despite my thinness advocacy, I know that most women won't maintain a size zero zero physique (can't being another question, and I'll accept that some can't; whatever, it costs me nothing).  I don't let my desires unduly influence my rational pursuit of self-interest.
Kinemalogue
Current reviews: The 'Burbs (9/10); Gremlins 2: The New Batch (9/10); John Wick: Chapter 2 (9/10); A Cure For Wellness (4/10)

stjaba

My ex-girlfriend  of 4.5 years went from being average weight to borderline morbid obesity (135 lbs at 5'2 to about 185 lbs, for a BMI of 35). For years, she "tried" to diet and exercise but always quit after a week or two. Her obesity was definitely a factor in my decision to break up with her. I simply was no longer attracted to her. Sex was basically a chore: looking at those fat rolls and stretch marks all that time was not pleasant.  :glare:

I was with the obese version of her for so long that I forgot what it was like to have sex with a fit chick. Fortunately, since we broke up I've been with a couple fit, regular sized girls, and had a way better experience than I ever had with the fat version of my ex. Breaking up with her was one of the best decisions in my life.

So, yeah, I'd endorse divorcing a fat spouse, at least if there are no children in the marriage.

Edit: Meant to say borderline morbid obesity, not just obesity.

katmai

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Barrister

Quote from: stjaba on March 18, 2013, 10:29:16 PM
My ex-girlfriend  of 4.5 years went from being average weight to borderline morbid obesity (135 lbs at 5'2 to about 185 lbs, for a BMI of 35). For years, she "tried" to diet and exercise but always quit after a week or two. Her obesity was definitely a factor in my decision to break up with her. I simply was no longer attracted to her. Sex was basically a chore: looking at those fat rolls and stretch marks all that time was not pleasant.  :glare:

I was with the obese version of her for so long that I forgot what it was like to have sex with a fit chick. Fortunately, since we broke up I've been with a couple fit, regular sized girls, and had a way better experience than I ever had with the fat version of my ex. Breaking up with her was one of the best decisions in my life.

So, yeah, I'd endorse divorcing a fat spouse, at least if there are no children in the marriage.

Edit: Meant to say borderline morbid obesity, not just obesity.

185lb, even at 5'2", is so definitely not "borderline morbid obesity".

But you were also not married, so the standards are quite different. -_-
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Iormlund

90 kg is definitely fat. I'm taller than most girls and I've never gone beyond the low 70s. Not even after months on steroids (and trust me, you can't fucking stop eating on those).

The again maybe fat means something different in the US.

stjaba

Quote from: Barrister on March 18, 2013, 10:50:14 PM

185lb, even at 5'2", is so definitely not "borderline morbid obesity".

But you were also not married, so the standards are quite different. -_-

I used to think that also. But morbid obesity is technically defined as a BMI of 35+, and 5'2" / 185 lb is a BMI of 35. 

Martinus

Quote from: merithyn on March 18, 2013, 01:37:34 PMI support the right of people to decide for themselves how they feel about how they look.

I don't know what that even means.  :huh:

Looks are external and one of the criteria people are being judged by others. Just as we can't decide we are intelligent (when we are dumb), we are nice (when we are assholes) or we smell nice (when we have bad hygiene), we can't decide that we look good if we do not.

Sure, different people have different standards - some people may be chubby chasers, some people may be into body odors etc - but that does not change the fact that others judge us based on our appearance, and no amount of self-deception will change that.

Martinus

Quote from: Malthus on March 14, 2013, 02:06:13 PM
Quote from: Barrister on March 14, 2013, 12:42:02 PM
There is a world of difference between 'watching what you eat but not actively dieting' and 'eating whatever you want'.

To my mind, "actively dieting" = trying to reduce one's weight by diet, and "watching what one eats" = trying to maintain one's weight (that is, not increase) by diet.


I think dieting is a wrong approach as it assumes you are on some special treatment that will end when you get slimmer. This is wrong both psychologically and physiologically.

In order to be fit, you need to change your lifestyle and essentially lead a healthy life - including being health-conscious about what you eat. Weight loss is a side benefit, but it should not be a goal (because if it is, you will be stuck in a yo-yo nightmare).

fhdz

Quote from: Ideologue on March 18, 2013, 08:28:09 PM
However, you're all misogynists.  Unlike me. :)

Oh? That why all of your relationships have been successful, Ide?

I'm not misogynist. I will confess to having grown a bit fatalist, at least in terms of relationships.

Having said all of that - to answer the original question: no, I wouldn't consider weight gain in and of itself to be sufficient reason for divorce.
and the horse you rode in on

Eddie Teach

Quote from: Ideologue on March 18, 2013, 08:28:09 PM
However, you're all misogynists.  Unlike me. :)

That's not really fair. Some of us are misanthropes, so the title misogynist puts the emphasis in the wrong place. And then there's Valmy who's an utterly enlightened ball of light.
To sleep, perchance to dream. But in that sleep of death, what dreams may come?