Barrister's obnoxious thread full of smug parenting stories

[Barrister]

VEGETARIAN? No faggoty on my watch mister! Raw meat! The blood of your opponents!

That doesn't sound the the Fuhrer we know and love.

[Ed Anger]

VEGETARIAN? No faggoty on my watch mister! Raw meat! The blood of your opponents!

That doesn't sound the the Fuhrer we know and love.

That was a gentler fuhrer. I demand blood.

[Barrister]

So Mrs B was getting 4 year old Andrew dressed in the morning.  She noticed Andrew had a whole bunch of marks in pen on his shins.  She asks Andrew who dres on his legs.

Andrew scrunches up his face and holds his finger to his lips, as if thinking really hard.  Then he says "I think it was.. the one who is getting dressed".

[Barrister]

So Timmy has been playing hockey this year.  It's his first, although I now know we could have put him  into hockey a couple of years earlier.

He's really taken to it, and despite being his first year you can just about see him improve week by week before our eyes.  He also really seems to like it - if you ask him now what he wants to do when he grows up its to be a hockey player.

He was doing so well he was actually scouted to go and try out for an "elite" (their word) spring hockey team.  He wanted to go, the tryout was free, so we signed him up.

Getting there... yeah.  These are the kids who have been playing hockey since they were three.  His skating was most noticeable - they started out doing various skating drills and he was definitely one of the slowest kids out there.

Afterwards in the car he said something about the other kids all being faster than he was.  I said yeah, but you're just starting and just need more practice.  And now we've got him signed up for powerskating lessons on Friday nights.

Still not sure how far I want to go with this hockey thing.  This is hockey-mad Alberta - there are tons of hockey lessons, hockey camps, spring and summer hockey... hell starting at about grade 3 there's a couple of special hockey-focused schools we could put him in. 

[Grey Fox]

Learning, both you & him, when to quit is the hard part.

[Jacob]

Learning mental toughness and how to work hard and overcome starting from a deficit is one the things that sport - especially Hockey - is supposed to be all about, right?

[Barrister]

Learning mental toughness and how to work hard and overcome starting from a deficit is one the things that sport - especially Hockey - is supposed to be all about, right?

Oh absolutely.  I try and drill into him it's not about how many goals you score - it's about how hard you work.

[Jacob]

Oh absolutely.  I try and drill into him it's not about how many goals you score - it's about how hard you work.

Good luck

[Barrister]

He scored a goal in one of the scrimmages as part of the tryout - but it was the laziest goal you could get.  He was just standing there in front of the goalie doing nothing, when someone passed him the puck.  He got it up high and scored.  He was excited, but really that's not how you play the game.

Late on that day for the last 15 minutes they were playing a scrimmage, but this time on the full sheet of ice.  Probably because of the last goal he was doing the same thing - standing there in front of the opposition goalie.  Problem was the puck and the play were 200' away in his own team's zone.   One of the coaches had to shoo him away and tell him to go after the puck.

He's so not making that team.  But (understandably) so far all they teach him is fundamentals of skating and puck handling.  They don't teach them anything about positioning or how to play as a team.

[Barrister]

So my older two kids were "blankie" kids - they each had their favourite blankie that they had to have with them.  Hell even going on 7 Timmy still likes to have his favourite blankie near him in bed (but doesn't freak out if it isn't).  Andrews, being a thinner blanket, is barely hanging on by a few threads.

Joshua though... in the last 3-4 months has latched on to a stuffed animal.  It's a small stuffy snow leopard from the Winnipeg Zoo.  His name is "Leopardee".  So Leopardee has to go everywhere with Joshua now.  He comes for all the car rides (though usually we can convince him that he should stay in the car).  He absolutely has to be there at bed time.  Heck Sunday morning I woke up to Joshie screaming "Leopardee!" because he couldn't find him once he woke up.

[Barrister]

Timothy went to a birthday party last weekend.  It was a Batman-themed party, with the kids basement convrted into the Batcave (password to get into the Batcave "Ironman Sucks").

When I picked Tim up later he said that the actual Batman made an appearance!  He commented that he didn't know Batman was a real person.

A minute later I asked him who was at the party.  What killed me is how he nonchalantly reeled off "Aiden, Andrew, Jacob, Batman, Quinn..."

[Valmy]

The shareholders are trying everything to keep Bruce Wayne from meddling too much these days.

[Barrister]

So Joshua (age 3 1/2) is not feeling well yesterday.  He had a bit of a fever and no appetite.

He woke up yesterday crying.  I got him to calm down, and asked him if he had a bad dream.  He said "No.  But I closed my eyes and pictures came into my eyes".

Then last night he was again crying, so Tracy told him he could sleep in our bed.  Of course when I woke up he was sleeping perpendicular across mine and Tracy's pillows, with me shoved over to the edge of the bed and Tracy sleeping down at the foot of the bed.

[Jacob]

Then last night he was again crying, so Tracy told him he could sleep in our bed.  Of course when I woke up he was sleeping perpendicular across mine and Tracy's pillows, with me shoved over to the edge of the bed and Tracy sleeping down at the foot of the bed.

That was my last night too.

[derspiess]

I take a hard line against our kids climbing into our bed in the middle of the night.  The wife unfortunately does not.