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Razorcrypts--a DF AAR

Started by MadImmortalMan, April 16, 2012, 02:39:47 AM

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MadImmortalMan

#75
April 20, 2012, 02:43:42 PM
More demonic hauntings afoot! A farmer named Kleves has been taken by the netherworld this time and claimed a workshop from Brain. Brain says screw you, I'll go have a beer.



Luck remains with us, as Kleves is able to fulfill the requirements of the underworld.


Quote from: Emalozkak, "Sensecarried", a yak bone helm(value=6240)
This is a yak bone helm. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with badger bone and yak bone and encircled with bands of yak bone. This object menaces with spikes of claystone.

So who gets to be the Lord of Bones?






Hmm. So what should I do? Any opinions?
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Habbaku

#76
April 20, 2012, 02:46:51 PM
Elevate me to nobility and I promise to stop poisoning things.
The medievals were only too right in taking nolo episcopari as the best reason a man could give to others for making him a bishop. Give me a king whose chief interest in life is stamps, railways, or race-horses; and who has the power to sack his Vizier (or whatever you care to call him) if he does not like the cut of his trousers.

Government is an abstract noun meaning the art and process of governing and it should be an offence to write it with a capital G or so as to refer to people.
-J. R. R. Tolkien

Berkut

#77
April 20, 2012, 03:16:03 PM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 18, 2012, 01:02:55 AM


...Hey wait a minute, who is this guy?





Hey, man. He's got mad skills! I think we should put him in charge of the fort and go take a vacation someplace without glaciers--what do you say?

What did he say his name was again?




:unsure:

PDH:  :secret:


:berkut:

:yeah:

I was wondering if I was going to show up!

Need anything dissected? I'm your dwarf!
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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grumbler

#78
April 20, 2012, 03:52:57 PM
"Great Flatterer"?  Berkut?   :lmfao:
The future is all around us, waiting, in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.   -G'Kar

Bayraktar!

PDH

#79
April 20, 2012, 04:06:17 PM
Quote from: grumbler on April 20, 2012, 03:52:57 PM
"Great Flatterer"?  Berkut?   :lmfao:

Dwarven flattery is different, it has impact.  Like a mace blow kind of impact.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
-Umberto Eco

-------
"I'm pretty sure my level of depression has nothing to do with how much of a fucking asshole you are."

-CdM

Barrister

#80
April 20, 2012, 04:13:33 PM
Quote from: PDH on April 20, 2012, 04:06:17 PM
Quote from: grumbler on April 20, 2012, 03:52:57 PM
"Great Flatterer"?  Berkut?   :lmfao:

Dwarven flattery is different, it has impact.  Like a mace blow kind of impact.

:lol:
Posts here are my own private opinions.  I do not speak for my employer.

Berkut

#81
April 20, 2012, 09:51:36 PM
SO it seems like it would be cool if DF allowed for shared servers...
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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MadImmortalMan

#82
April 20, 2012, 10:21:35 PM


Status to begin the new year 115.

We've decided not to accept the realm's offer of official status at this time. I'm sure we will have another opportunity soon enough if we wish to join. We are now a "city".


"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

MadImmortalMan

#83
April 21, 2012, 02:01:56 AM
17th Felsite 115, Late Spring

The elven traders have appeared again.


19th Felsite 115

An Ambush!

We can't hole up for a siege, there are too many dwarves and animals out on the plain. Not to mention our elven visitors. Perhaps the elves will meet the goblins before we have to. sbr orders one squad-The Helmed Meteors-outside to wait and see.
Sound the alarms. The goblins are poaching our farm animals on the lower plain near the frozen lake. The Helmed Meteors set off at once to attack them.
The Stirred Knives-our archer squad-is ordered to the tower.



Martinus and Scipio are the first to arrive on the scene, charging down the slope at full speed toward the enemy!



Quote
The Mace Lord bashes The Goblin Bowmam in the head with his +iron mace+, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The +iron mace+ has lodged firmly in the wound!

Marty's a Mace Lord.

They take out the first goblin, but the others go racing past them.


BuddhaRhubarb comes flying down the slope at full speed, and...

Quote
The hammerdwarf strikes The Goblin Lasher in the head with his iron shield, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!

Forget your hammer, Buddha? Whatever works, man.


Meanwhile, Marty catches up, but his mace is still stuck in that other dude's skull. No problem.

Quote
The Mace Lord bites The Goblin Bowman in the left upper leg, bruising the muscle through the ({leopard leather cloak})!
The Mace Lord latches on firmly!
The Mace Lord shakes The Goblin Bowman around by the left upper leg, tearing apart the left upper leg's fat and bruising the bone!
A tendon in the left upper leg has been torn!

Now Buddha becomes a Hammer Lord by virtue of having shoved his shield through that guy's skull, so he continues his rampage.

Quote
The Hammer Lord strikes The Goblin Bowman in the head with his iron shield, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Goblin Bowman has been knocked unconscious!

I'm changing his name to Buddha Shieldbrainer.



The rest of the goblin bowmen sprint for the south away from the frozen glaciers and mad biting dwarves.
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

MadImmortalMan

#84
April 21, 2012, 03:12:39 AM
The peace lasted several hours.





Katmai and Zoupa catch a straggler lost from the previous ambush right away and dispatch him instantly. He was probably stunned from having his brains shield-bashed from his head.

Meanwhile the new batch of goblins is wandering toward the gates. Katmai is now a Hammer Lord.



Toni closed a trade with the elves for literally everything of any value to us whatsoever that they were carrying. We had tons of valuable crafts left over. Zoupa's master crafted gold and silver items and instruments are worth a mint. He can produce a kea made of lead and the elves will think it's gold-pressed latinum.



The next wave of goblins got to just within crossbow range of the fort before getting plastered with bolts and running away to the east.

Peace again.


One dwarf who has impressed everyone with his wisdom, leadership ability and complete lack of vampirism has been appointed as the new fortress manager. His name is Richard Hakluyt. We've given him an office across the hall from the Mayor's cabinet room.


"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

Tonitrus

#85
April 21, 2012, 03:21:31 AM
When the bad finally comes, you're overdue for some serious shit.   :D

MadImmortalMan

#86
April 21, 2012, 03:27:58 AM


:lol:
"Stability is destabilizing." --Hyman Minsky

"Complacency can be a self-denying prophecy."
"We have nothing to fear but lack of fear itself." --Larry Summers

katmai

#87
April 21, 2012, 03:30:44 AM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 21, 2012, 03:12:39 AM

Katmai is now a Hammer Lord.

I have no idea what that means but Huzzah!
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son

Solmyr

#88
April 21, 2012, 05:48:21 AM
QuoteThe Mace Lord bites The Goblin Bowman in the left upper leg, bruising the muscle through the ({leopard leather cloak})!
The Mace Lord latches on firmly!
The Mace Lord shakes The Goblin Bowman around by the left upper leg, tearing apart the left upper leg's fat and bruising the bone!

Dwarf-Marty likes legs instead of feet? :P

Berkut

#89
April 21, 2012, 07:45:03 AM
Quote from: MadImmortalMan on April 18, 2012, 02:22:23 AM
MIM: So, what are our options?

PDH: Well, there is the time-honored tradition of appointing him to be your immortal accountant...

MIM: In no time he'll get himself elected mayor and be demanding a fresh baby for breakfast every morning. What else?

PDH: Zoo?

MIM: What, like for kids?

...

MIM: Can we use him as cannon fodder? Maybe send him on an expedition all by himself into the caverns--to "secure our water supply" or something.

PDH: He might get suspicious. He's smart.

MIM: Yeah and he's such a nice guy too...Just the other day he offered to guard little Monoriu's bed while he slept because the kid was having nightmares about keas, and...oh man.

Can we just appoint him to a special office of fortress dragon-fighter and keep him locked in a room until he's needed to, you know, fight dragons? Will he still try to run for mayor then?




Brazen: We could let him be in charge and try to make sure he only eats losers and dead weight?


CdM: We could all drink his blood and build an army of undead superdwarves?




What problem are you talking about here? Is it me?
"If you think this has a happy ending, then you haven't been paying attention."

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