Korea- Too boring

[Ideologue]

Ten years ago in March, except for the public disorderly conduct from three years ago in April.  It involved speaking colloquial English, and the use of idiom.

DUI is thirteen years old.  Records inaccessible by computer: the only way anyone would know is going to a courthouse in rural South Carolina and spending an hour or two (sigh) manually going through the records.  Guess what?  I ain't reporting that to anyone of less stature than the highest court in an American jurisdiction anymore.

[Ideologue]

All applicants must meet the following minimum qualifications and requirements:

1. Native English Speaker Check
2. Passport from the UK, USA, NZ, AUS, CAN, RSA or Ireland. Can do
3. Bachelor's Degree o[r] Higher OR an Associate's Degree with a TEFL/TESOL Certificate Ha ha ha ha... yes
4. One-Year Commitment Wait, the cats
5. Criminal Background Check (upon offer of employment) But what about the cats?

How does one ship cats to the RoC?

[Caliga]

In a meat truck.

[Ideologue]

In a meat truck.

Meat hydrofoil.

[Ideologue]

OK, I've figured it out, I just pay my sister to take care of them for a year.

[Admiral Yi]

That would so crack me up if I ran into Korean a couple years down the road that spoke English like Gomer Pyle.

[Ideologue]

To me, perhaps you're the one with the stupid accent.

[Admiral Yi]

To me, perhaps you're the one with the stupid accent.

Can't argue with 3,000 local news anchors.

[Neil]

You'll never get in, Ide.  With a law degree, they'll have no choice but to assume that you're trying to get into the country in order to fuck their schoolgirls.

[Ideologue]

You'll never get in, Ide.  With a law degree, they'll have no choice but to assume that you're trying to get into the country in order to fuck their schoolgirls.

They'd be right, but Asians are clearly somewhat ignorant of our rapid decline; that's why they want to learn English.  Besides, I'll spin it that I want to see the world (have sex with foreigners) and build up cultural experience that I can use in practice in California, working with companies that contract with Asian suppliers (if they're dumb enough to buy this, the sky is literally the limit, to the extent that they probably can't tell the difference between USC [SoCal] and USC [Carolina], and I can probably say I'm on a year-long deferral).

[Razgovory]

Ten years ago in March, except for the public disorderly conduct from three years ago in April.  It involved speaking colloquial English, and the use of idiom.

DUI is thirteen years old.  Records inaccessible by computer: the only way anyone would know is going to a courthouse in rural South Carolina and spending an hour or two (sigh) manually going through the records.  Guess what?  I ain't reporting that to anyone of less stature than the highest court in an American jurisdiction anymore.

I have one (1) speeding ticket from about ten years ago.  Nothing else ever stuck.

[Habbaku]

Pleading insanity probably works a whole lot more often when you actually are.

[jimmy olsen]

Ten years ago in March, except for the public disorderly conduct from three years ago in April.  It involved speaking colloquial English, and the use of idiom.

DUI is thirteen years old.  Records inaccessible by computer: the only way anyone would know is going to a courthouse in rural South Carolina and spending an hour or two (sigh) manually going through the records.  Guess what?  I ain't reporting that to anyone of less stature than the highest court in an American jurisdiction anymore.

It won't show up on an FBI check though?

[jimmy olsen]

To me, perhaps you're the one with the stupid accent.

Oh, crap. Totally forgot about. A lot of these places do phone or skype interviews.

You'll never pass if your southern accent is too strong. 

[Neil]

The whole point for an Asian to learn English is to be perceived as an intelligent citizens of the world and worthy memebrs of the elite.  It's hard to do that when the Southern accent is universally associated with gross idiocy.