{AAR} Ed's short attention span theatre.

[Ed Anger]

Baron Harkonnen Fatty McFatty might lose control and stampede his own troops to get to my delicious corpse.

[jimmy olsen]

How does the combat in this game work?

[Ed Anger]

Year of the Four Emperors

Hi Otho!



You are fucked!

The best Otho faction general:



The Danube legions start out lost alreadt to Vespasian. I also don't have National Morale to unlock the Dalmatian or Pannonia legions. So let's try to assassinate Macer, who is in rebellion in Carthage:



I recruit 3 units of marines, some Ponies and archers:



Next turn:



DIE DIE DIE DIE. 2 legions in Carthage will unlock in 4 turns.



Killing Macer boosts morale. So let's unlock the pannonia legion.



And recruit Gladiators



This gives Otho nearly 40000 men at Rome.



Also, a case of KC Masterpiece BBQ sauce is ordered.

[Valmy]

Bah the Danube legions did not support Vespasian until Otho committed suicide.

[Ed Anger]

They may be locked in place for the Vespasian player like the Pannonia legions are for Otho.

Who knows? All I know is, I ain't getting them.

[Ed Anger]

I play some more until Tamas Gypsy software crashes:

Fabius Valens appears at the Alpine Pass:



With 6 legions. Yay. Handsome is over to the right with 2 more legions. Imperator Fatty is nowhere to be seen.

Meanwhile, I move Otho to Milan to link up with some called up Auxiliaries and Cav. A Depot is built to support the army. Gaius Suetonius Paulinus will form another force at Verona with the Pannonian Legion, 2 units of Marines(about 12 cohorts worth) and a bunch of odds and ends scraped up.

A Legion from Africa and odds and ends scraped up will form a reserve at Rome itself.

I had a awesome screenshot, but the Matrix Games Beet software took it out when the game crashed. HungarianSoft games at its best. 

[Tamas]

 

[Ed Anger]

You've nagged us to buy your company's software. Now sit there and take the abuse when it crashes.

[PDH]

Yeah, the barbecue sauce isn't getting any fresher, Beetalicious.

[Ed Anger]

I wish Licinius Proculus would stop staring at me. Creepy ass portrait.

[PDH]

His eyes should really be looking over to the left.  He is making sure when the barbecue sauce comes out he hands the fork to Vitellius.

[Ed Anger]

Part 3:

Otho smothers himself in BBQ sauce and goes on the offensive

Cisalpine Gaul:



Holland in Flames. Baron Harkonnen takes the pressure off in Swissland. I get a besieged legion out of there.



Harkonnen probes with some Germans. Otho kills Germans:



Otho goes to Gaul:



Up next:

I lose track of the turns and Otho is trapped in Gaul by the snows. Handsome shows up with a legion shadowing Otho. Meanwhile, a third scratch force is formed in Milan.

[Ed Anger]

Part 4: I call Bullshit

That Cularo town surrenders to Otho:



I notice support in Italy waning for Otho. I've been paying attention to military matters. Wonderbread for all! Open the Twinkie factory up!



When the road opens back up over the Alps, I order Otho back to Cisalpine Gaul. The fucker marches on Massalia instead. What a maroon.



Primus appears!



Fuck Him. Paulinius has 40000 men in Verona waiting for the Danube legions to show up.

Otho and his starving army storms Massalia supported by 330 ships.



Game ends. Only 25 turns.



BULLSHIT.

[Ed Anger]

Next AAR:

Caesar v Pompey (as Pompey)
Spartacus (as mr. Buttchin)
Caesar against Parthia (as Caesar)

You choose, I might listen.

Yes, I got the Parthia and Spartacus expansions with those 10 dollar off Easter coupons.

[PDH]

Rape Parthia!  Rape Parthia!