American Thanksgiving

[Ed Anger]

Tsk tsk.

[CountDeMoney]

I bugged the SHIT out of my wife's grandma today to nominate me for Kentucky Colonel.

Incompetent patronage. How very Confederate.

[Ed Anger]

At least he isn't bugging the living shit out of me any more for a nomination.

[Caliga]

Today I ate the following:

breakfast was a piece of banana chocolate chip bread (I made it earlier this week) and espresso.

lunch was:

turkey
cornbread stuffing
mashed taters
gravy
mixed vegetable casserole
green bean casserole
some homemade bread (I made this also)
cranberry, sweet tater, and raisin chutney
grits casserole
German tater salad
banana croquette

lunch dessert was:
bourbon chocolate pecan pie (I made this)
pumpkin cake
this cute little cake thing that looked like a little turkey on a popsicle stick
fried apple pie


dinner:
honey baked ham
green beans
stuffing (think this was wheat bread stuffing)
gravy
mashed taters
sweet taters
rolls

dinner dessert was:
bourbon chocolate pecan pie again
regular pecan pie
french silk pie

After dinner my father in law, Princesca, and I played with guns.  He checked out the Glocks and Taurus we're borrowing and will probably buy, and I played with his Bersa Thunder 380.  It's like a Walther PPK knockoff, I guess.  That thing is teeny and light as a feather... but it's weird that it's chambered .380 and uses a blowback design.

[CountDeMoney]

From a distance, Thanksgiving looks like the best family holiday around.  I'm very jealous of your planned indulgence.  Enjoy

Unless you've got some dysfunctional family issues to deal with, it is perhaps the lowest stress level holiday left.  Which is nice.   None of the consumer-based frenzy of Christmas, none of the religious sensibilities mildly insulted around Easter gatherings.

But I guarantee somebody, somewhere in America came out of the closet in front of the entire extended family the moment  patriarch cut into the bird, and totally fucked it up for everybody.

[Ed Anger]

But I guarantee somebody, somewhere in America came out of the closet in front of the entire extended family the moment  patriarch cut into the bird, and totally fucked it up for everybody.

At least I didn't have to deal with the flaming cousin this year.

[Caliga]

Incompetent patronage. How very Confederate.

She told me how she got to be a Kentucky Colonel, which I didn't know before.  Back in the 1970s, she was a lunch lady.  Her school won some big reward for the highest test scores in the state, and because of that they made every single staff member at the school a Colonel.

[Ideologue]

I went to see my mom's side of the family, whom I had not seen in about half a decade.  It was actually pretty fun except for 1)the seatbelt ticket WTF, and 2)them giving me shitty terminal guidance once I got into town so it took like forty minutes to find their house.

Ate rice, deviled eggs, cake.

My cousin jokingly (presumably) hit on me, which was awkward, as she's gained weight.

[CountDeMoney]

But I guarantee somebody, somewhere in America came out of the closet in front of the entire extended family the moment  patriarch cut into the bird, and totally fucked it up for everybody.

At least I didn't have to deal with the flaming cousin this year.

Don't worry, you're gonna get yours in about 15 years, smart guy.

"OK, so who wants a leg?"
"Dad, I want to go to Michigan."

[Caliga]

Oh, yeah, and I was talking to her grandfather about the Dubya Dubya Two some more.  His brother Georgie was in the USMC in the Pacific (which I already knew), but he told me how he got all the Jap gold teeth that he's got in a big jar.  Apparently Georgie was a telegraph operator/line layer or something like that and he and a buddy, every time they came upon dead Japanese soldiers, used to work as a team in looting their teeth: his buddy would take a knife and slit the dude's mouth so it fell open and Georgie would kick the teeth repeatedly until he'd knocked them all out, and then they'd pick through them looking for gold ones.  He said nearly every one had a gold tooth but sometimes you'd be lucky and find more than one.  America: the good guys.

[Ed Anger]

But I guarantee somebody, somewhere in America came out of the closet in front of the entire extended family the moment  patriarch cut into the bird, and totally fucked it up for everybody.

At least I didn't have to deal with the flaming cousin this year.

Don't worry, you're gonna get yours in about 15 years, smart guy.

"OK, so who wants a leg?"
"Dad, I want to go to Michigan."

ABOMINATION

[Ed Anger]

Oh, yeah, and I was talking to her grandfather about the Dubya Dubya Two some more.  His brother Georgie was in the USMC in the Pacific (which I already knew), but he told me how he got all the Jap gold teeth that he's got in a big jar.  Apparently Georgie was a telegraph operator/line layer or something like that and he and a buddy, every time they came upon dead Japanese soldiers, used to work as a team in looting their teeth: his buddy would take a knife and slit the dude's mouth so it fell open and Georgie would kick the teeth repeatedly until he'd knocked them all out, and then they'd pick through them looking for gold ones.  He said nearly every one had a gold tooth but sometimes you'd be lucky and find more than one.  America: the good guys.

Slargos' pants are a dairy factory

[Darth Wagtaros]

I had a McGriddle for breakfast.  With the bacon wraps (bacon wrapped around stuffing and put on a tooth pick) and cheese puffs (butter/cheddar cheese with flour and a bit of cayenne) we had as appetizers I was beyond full by the time dinner was served.

[Caliga]

Georgie's still alive and he's a pretty cool guy, actually.  He owned a local chain of skating rinks around here and he and Grandpa Harry still own tons of land in Bullitt Conunty.  Who'd ever guess that a skating rink guy is a psychopathic war criminal?

[Ideologue]

I don't see the big deal if they were already dead.