The Languish Band - A Darklands AAR

[Syt]

In the Domhof inn, the three meet a huge, lumbering country lout. He's very charming, in his own way, and claims he can hold his own with edge and bow. His name is Karl Stiefel, though his nickname is the pretentiously Latin Caliga.

Unfortunately, he doesn't bring any equipment. The group star working in town. It seems like a sensible way to spend the winter. They earn some coin, and soon  Karl is decked out in leather armor, armed with a short bow and a handy axe. It's March when they start cleaning out the streets of Paderborn again.

It's arduous work, and takes some patching up to do in between, but in April they've made such a name for themselves that they are granted an audience with the Bishop of Paderborn, lord of the city.

He confesses that the town is plagued by a robber knight who has his keep in the East. He begs the Languish band to rid his town of this scourge.

The four decide to head east and scout the lands. Near the village of Höxter they hear rumors of the robber knight's henchmen prowling the woods.

"I say, we ambush them!" Karl suggest. "I know these forests well enough to hide us."

The four spend almost a week before a band of unruly knights approaches them. They attack!

The band of bandits is killed easily enough, with only minor wounds to our heroes.

"That was easy," Eduard says.

"Too easy," Geldgraf says.

"Alright, how about we sell their stuff in town, rest up a bit and then pay that obber knight a visit in his keep?"

They travel back to Paderborn where they sell their loot and fix their wounds. On their way there they're attacked by a few wild boars. The dive into cover, only Martinus gets hit.

"Don't get me wrong, but this feels like a bad omen," Karl says.

On May 2nd, 1401 they stand in front of the knight's keep. They ponder their options and decide that single combat would be the best idea.

The bandit lord agrees . . . then brings half a dozen henchmen with him!

Karl fells one with his bow, but then the melee begins. One by one the Languishers are cut down. Martinus is killed by a sword cut to his face. The others survive, badly wounded. The robbers take all their possessions, all their money and kick them into the street.

"Motherfuckers," Geldgraf steams, "You haven't seen the last of us!"

The limp back towards Paderborn to gather their strength.

On their way a highway robber/alchemist ties to extort any alchemistic supplies fromm them. It's all Caliga and Eduard can do to restrain Geldgraf from killing the man.

They reach Paderborn on the 5th and walk up to the gates. It's here that they realize that they have no coin.

"No problem," says Karl and appraches the guards.

He returns a few moments later. "No beggars, he said."

"I'll get us in," Geldgraf says. "Just blend in with the crowd.

A guard spots Caliga who's a head taller than most of the people streaming through the gate. "Hey, I told you to beat it!"

Eduard frowns. "Ok, options?"

"Climbing the walls?" Geldgraf suggests?

"Going through the sewers?" Karl offers.

"Sewers seems safer," Eduard says.

They stand in front of the grate. Karl pulls with all his might, but he can't pry it loose.

"This is one of those days ," Eduard says.

They decide to try their luck with the walls. They actually make it, even Karl.

As they dust themselves off, they notice someone clearing their throat behind them. Thieves!

The three, unarmored and unarmed, make a run for it. Eventually, they end up in a dead end and have to surrender. When the thieves catch up with them, they look at the ragged three, barefooted, clothes torn, and just laugh before disappearing into the night.

The three hide out in a small grve till daybreak. Time to reconsider their options. They need to patch up, they need money and equipment. And they need a new member for their party.

[Syt]

They meet a master craftsman, a bit down on his luck after a failed business venture. He just mumbles something about "chain reaction" and "uncontrollable."

His name is Herrmann Hirner, called Hirn, a tinkerer from the north. He looks at the three and says, "Shoot, it's not like I have anything to lose."

It's June 1st that everyone is healthy again, and the band can go about earning money for new equipment.

[The Brain]

I got a good feeling about this crew.

[grumbler]

I'll say it again: love it.

[Syt]

After two weeks of toiling in Paderborn's sweatshops, Eduard is frustrated. "At this rate it'll take us a year to get ourselves equiepped again!"

"So what do you suggest?" Karl asks.

"I say we got to Cologne," Hirn says. "It's the biggest city in the Empire. They're bound to pay a bit better than the peasants here!"

"Aye, screw these fuckers!" Geldgraf says.

"Yeah, but without weapons or anything," Karl says, "how are we going to travel there?"

"Easy," Eduard says. "By boat."

So they sail down the Lippe river to Duisburg, and from there on to Cologne where they arrive in early July 1401.

Afer a few days of manual labor, Geldgraf comes back to the Inn after his shift on the city militia. "You know, these guys ain't paying any better than the Paderborn folk."

Eduard grimaces. "Not only that, but all the shit here is expensive. I tallied our coin, and we're spending it exactly as fast as we're earning it."

"Whose idea to come here was it again?" Karl asks.

"So how about this Koblenz place up the river I keep hearing about?" Hirn asks.

They travel onwards, but in Koblenz things are't any better.

"Trier, then?" Hirn asks.

On the boat ride there, the band is attacked in the night by river pirates. They try to escape into the dark, but the thieves catch them and steal all their money. They make it to Trier, but now they're without cash in a town where their cost of living exceeds the money they earn. With 6 pfennigs left, they ponder their options.

[The Brain]

Seems there's only one option left. And it's as hot as my pants!

[Syt]

"We've had it pretty nice in Paderborn," Geldgraf says.

"At least we were respected there," Karl says.

"You know we have to walk there, right?" Eduard says.

"We could also stay here and starve to death?" Hirn says.

So they start on the long hike to Paderborn, by way of Mainz, Franfurt and Kassel. It's a refreshingly uneventful journey. Only once Karl has protect them from attacking wolves. Twice they run into bandits. The first time Karl manages to bluff them into running away, the second time the bandits just laugh when they see the band has no money.

It's now August 20th, 1401, and the party is back to square one.

[sbr]

 

[fhdz]

This is fantastic, Syt. I loved Darklands. I've contemplated rebuying it since it's now on GOG.com - this AAR has pushed me over the edge. Thank you.

[Martinus]

Martinus

Who is Hirn btw? I didn't get that one. 

[sbr]

Martinus

Who is Hirn btw? I didn't get that one. 

I assumed it was The Brain for some reason, not too sure now that I look back.

[Ed Anger]

My conspiracy theory is that Eduard stabbed Tim and Martinus in the back. Repeatedly.

[Oexmelin]

In Deutsch, "Brain" ist "Hirn".

[Martinus]

My conspiracy theory is that Eduard stabbed Tim and Martinus in the back. Repeatedly.

What about B? Did he fuck her corpse?

[Tamas]

Dam you Syt, I MUST resist buying yet another game, even if it's just 6 bucks.

Very cool AAR