The Languish Band - A Darklands AAR

[Martinus]

 

[Zanza]

I think I never played that game. I might give it a try sometime. Sounds interesting.

[Martinus]

I think I never played that game. I might give it a try sometime. Sounds interesting.

It's almost entirely text-based with some DOS-like graphic for combat. I don't think it is playable for someone just trying it today for a first time, but good luck.

It boggles my mind why they have never remade it. It's an instant classic imo.

[PDH]

Good show!  I remember this fondly, especially sending off to Microprose to get the update disk so it didn't crash when the bomb-throwing terrorist alchemists ran amok.

[Syt]

The four pour over a map of the Empire. The most direct route to Bamberg would lead through the hills of the Harz and the Thüringer Wald.

"We could avoid the Harz, at least, if we go via Leipzig," Martinus suggests.

"Or we could bypass both if we go by ways of Paderborn and Kassel," B suggests.

"The chick has a point," Eduard says. "It's almost October, and in my age I don't want to climb those hills in rain and wind. Paderborn it is."

"And if you get tired I can massage your feet," Martinus says.

"Do we have to take the creep with us?" Geldgraf asks.

"For now," Eduard says. "B seems quite fond of him."

They cross the Elbe near Hamburg on the 27th of September. On the 30th they see a strange place - twisted and gnarled trees, everything seems blackened and evil, some spots are ashen, and the animals are threatening. It's the general consensus that the place causes too much pants crapping and instead they move on.

On the road they meet a bishop and his party. They pay their respects, and the bishop asks for a tithe to "ensure God's protection of the road."

Geldgraf is about to say something, but B gives the pfennig the church demands.

Further down the road, refugees from a plague stricken village trundle up the road. Eduard and B agree that the right thing to do is help these poor bastards and offer them three pfennig, about as much as they can spare.

They've just walked a few more paces, when suddenly . . .

[Syt]

The members of the band scream like little girls and try to run from the Tatzelwurm, but it's too fast. They have to fight!

When the dust settles, the group check each other for scratches.

"I'm fine," Geldgraf says.

"Me too," B says.

"No scratch!" Martinus looks visibly relieved.

"I . . . ," Eduard begins. The others look worried at their knightly lader. "I'm a bit winded but fine. The age, you know?"

"Jerk," Geldgraf says.

They carve up some meat from the wurm for a meal, then move on.

[Syt]

The band is still a bit from their next waypoint, Hanover, when they meet pilgrims on their way. They are headed in the same direction, so they decide to escort the pilgrims. They're slowed down, but still - on noon of October 6th they reach the city gates of Hanover.

They band is very much out of money by now, so they decide to stay for a week and earn a bit of coin with their respective crafts. It's not a big sum, but it will pay for a few visits to inns on the way. On the 14th of October, they continue their journey.

[Richard Hakluyt]

 

[Syt]

The journey on the road is uneventful. They pass the village of Bückeburg, but the most remarkable thing about it how unremarkable it is. "What a dung heap," Geldgraf says.

Further along the road they find Sternberg keep. The peasants don't mention anything of note, and the castle lord refuses to receive the band.

On 18th October they see a caravan under attack by bandits.

"There's quite a few of those fannies," Martinus says.

B shakes her head. "We can't watch these poor people get slaughtered."

"I agree," Eduard says. "Besides, there might be a reward for us."

Geldgraf nods. "And loot!"

The fight is a messy affair, eight bandits against our valiant heroes. In the end, the Languish band stands no chance. Eduard lasts longest, bashed on by six bandits.

When the group comes to, the fight is long over. The bandits left them for dead, though they were only badly wounded. Fortunately, the bandits were busy slaughtering and robbing the caravan, so they at least left the group their equipment and coin.

They limp to the nearby village of Höxter where they lick their wounds for a spell.

"We can't stay here for free," B says. The group agrees to pay the villagers a groschen per day for their care.

"I don't want to be negative," Martinus finally says, but we should get ourselves to Paderborn, it's only two days from here. And we can earn some coin there, while we regain our strength!

Geldgraf and Eduard hate to admit it, but it's a sound plan.

On the road they meet a wandering preacher who reminds everyone how sinful just being in existence and drawing air is. He offers absolvance for but a groschen. The crew count their coins: two groschen. "Screw you and your extortion," Martinus says.

Geldgraf flips the old weirdo the bird.

The preacher curses them for everyone to hear, and indeed, the band lose some of their endurance and divine favor.

"Good work, guys," Eduard says.

They arrive in Paderborn, famed for its swordmiths, on the 27th of October. Eduard tries to buddy up with the guards like in Lübeck, but they shrug him off. Grudgingly, they pay the toll to enter the city.

It's November 23rd when the last wounds are healed.

"We've lost four weeks," Eduard says.

"Because you wanted to be the altruistic one," Geldgraf reminds him.

"You think it makes sense to go after that dwarf near Bamberg?" Eduard says, trying to change the subject.

"No idea," Martinus said.

"Didn't expect you to have one," Geldgraf says. He ignores B's angry look.

"I suggest we stay here a bit longer," Eduard says. "I bet this town has its share of bandits. We kill some of them, make a name in the city, and then try to cuddle with the local big wigs to get us a job that isn't a fool's errand."

Martinus looks hopeful.

"Not that kind of cuddling" Geldgraf says. "Perv."

[Martinus]

 

[Syt]

The crew starts on the first night at the docks of Paderborn. They run into thieves soon enough and dispatch them easily. B is a bit scratched, but the group, confident thanks to their success decides to check a few more side streets.

In the crafts distrct they run into more thieves. They're as easily killed, but when the fight is over, the guys notice that B doesn't move.

"Think that cut is bad?" Geldgraf asks.

"The one from which all that blood is seeping?" Martinus replies.

"No, the one through which her entrails hang out."

Eduard sighs. "Guess we need a new healer."

[The Brain]

Oooh! Ooh!

[garbon]

Oooh! Ooh!

Shameless!

[The Brain]

Oooh! Ooh!

Shameless!

At least my hair isn't purple.

[garbon]

Oooh! Ooh!

Shameless!

At least my hair isn't purple.

Actually my hair is currently a shade of burgundy.