Weird Dream of the Week

[Razgovory]

I had the nicest dream.  I was in place where they giving out free seafood.  Lots of free seafood.  It was all so tasty and good!

[Syt]

I was supposed to meet friends and coworkers in town (not any town I recognize). On the way I meeting a rich guy in the park. Obviously not being able to handle his dog. Got in a talk about science(?), and he seems to have read a book or two on the topic, so he invites me home and we talk. He's also running the elite school's hockey team, a team that stinks. I volunteer to take a look at the team stats, and suggest he should let a guy called Les play.

His wife is home in America, for genealogy research, I think. They have two sons, one is a goody-tow-shoes rich son, while the other is a rebellious gay guy. When he comes out, the father throws a big fit and nearly beats him to death with a hockey stick.

The rich dad repairs his fancy boat and nearly ruins his garden while reversing the trailer. Also, the boat topples and he needs the neighbors' to put it back up. We go to a fancy restaurant - but all meals are finished, and no table has been cleaned up. I to the toilet which has two bowls overflowing with piss that I can hardly flush, while people repeatedly try to open the door.

The family takes the boat to America. For some reason, it looks like rural Sicily, old farmers with donkeys and all. In an old farm they meet the mother. And then the END CREDITS roll. No kidding.

I wake up for a moment and think, "What a bit of crap!", then fall back asleep, with this epilogue:

The rich father beats the dog up in the park because it won't follow him. He tried to hide that streak from public, but finally he can't do it anymore. He gets arrested on animal cruelty charges, and I adopt the dog. On TV, the families of the kids shot in Newtown are gifted new cars by Oprah, and I think that it's inappropriate that the parents are so happy about it, less than a wee after their kids were shot. Also, members of the school hockey team approach me and I think they want to beat me up for putting Les on the team. However, they cheer me, because Les became their MVP and they won the championship.

Throughout the whole dream friends and coworkers tease me in a friendly way about my new connections to the rich guy, how I'm part of the Upper Crust now etc.

The End.

[Martinus]

This sounds like a mash-up of several movies I watched, I think. 

Have you seen "Beginners", by any chance?

[Syt]

Not that I know of.

[Martinus]

Oh ok. The main plot is a story of an old guy who comes out to his son when he (the guy, not the son) is 73, after his wife dies. When the father eventually dies the son inherits his dog. I thought that's what could have inspired the old guys/gays/dogs part of your dream, as I was talking about watching the movie two days ago in one of the threads, but I guess it's not it.

[Eddie Teach]

You dream about going to the bathroom, but then don't actually need to go when you wake up? 

[Josephus]

Ok.

Last night I dreamed I had some kind of issue with my dick. So I put some cream on it overnight. When I woke up I had to pee, but the cream had congealed around my pee hole and  i couldn't pee.

[Ed Anger]

Gross.

[Darth Wagtaros]

I had a dream that I was in China to see a concert for some reason when I was mugged and knocked out.  I was given shelter by some people on some river on their fishing boat, except the river was about as wide as one of the canals here in town.  Just seemed to float around with them for days before going back to the US.

Last night I was being chased by these fucked up deformed vampires who yelled at me a lot and liked to burrow below the ground.

[Caliga]

I dreamed I saw knights in armor coming, saying something about a queen.  There were peasants singing and drummers drumming, and an archer split a tree.  There was a fanfare blowing to the sun, that was floating on the breeze.

[Ed Anger]

No raping the queen? Weak.

[Caliga]

Nein.  But Mother Nature was on the run, and it was the 1970s.

[MadImmortalMan]

Getting on the plane this weekend to come home I heard the airport PA paging a girl. Later when I got in my seat on the plane, I glanced over and noticed the name on her boarding pass and it was the same name. I mention it because that's the reason I remembered her name in my dream later.

So I doze off for maybe ten minutes and dream one of those dreams that seems to move smoothly from the real world to the dream and you sometimes can't tell where one ends and the other begins. I dreamed that the flight attendant gave her a drink and then she started having this violent allergic reaction. Like throat swelling shut panicky bad. So I went over there and called her name, asked her if she went by any nicknames, etc. She was surprised I knew it, having never told me but it distracted her from the "omg I'm dying-can't breathe" panic. I had to calm her down enough to ask if she had an epi pen, she said it was in her purse in the overhead. My wife found it and gave it to me. I used the epi pen on the girl. The whole time, I'm talking to her to keep her calm. I finally got her taking slow deep breaths, and I started considering that I shouldn't give her any water because she's probably in shock. Then I woke up and only then realized it didn't happen.


Yes, the girl was extremely hot. Looked a lot like Olivia Wilde. Yes, the part where I had to stab her with a phallic-shaped device is not lost on me. 

[Caliga]

For some reason I always get stuck sitting next to fat old ladies or swarthy young men dressed like wiggers on planes.

[Josephus]

When I'm on a plane, the seat beside me is always empty.

Empty, that is, until the final moment, just before the door closes, when the fattest, smelliest person in the world gets aboard.