The Obama "To Make Important Statement" MEGATHREAD

[Martinus]

And in the US it's shooting down Obama.

Ooops. 

[lustindarkness]

Some interesting info coming out.

For example:

U.S. officials said the CIA tracked bin Laden to his location, then elite troops from Navy SEAL Team Six, a top military counter-terrorism unit, flew to the hideout in four helicopters. Bin Laden was shot in the head in an ensuing firefight, these officials said, adding that he and his guards had resisted his attackers. U.S. personnel identified him by facial recognition, the official said, declining to say whether DNA analysis had also been used.

The U.S. team took custody of bin Laden's remains. A U.S. official later said bin Laden had been buried at sea and the remains were handled in accordance with Islamic practice, which calls for speedy burial.

The official, who spoke Monday on condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive national security matters, said it would have been difficult to find a country willing to accept the remains. The official did not say where the body was buried.

Obama said no Americans were harmed in the operation. Three adult males were also killed in the raid, including one of bin Laden's sons, whom officials did not name. One of bin Laden's sons, Hamza, is a senior member of al-Qaida. U.S. officials also said one woman was killed when she was used as a shield by a male combatant, and two other women were injured.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_bin_laden

Sounds too Hollywood movie, and the conspiracy theories will be great.

[stjaba]

Supposedly, this is a picture of his carcass:

[Ideologue]

Cool.  My president beats your president, Red America.

[CountDeMoney]

Shot that bitch in his eye. yo.

[Caliga]

Great.  Now hopefully the next Special Forces raid targets that two-faced piece of shit Musharraf.

"Prime Minister Musharraf... yeah this is Dubya... just wanted to let you know we got a lead on bin Laden's location and are going in."
"Okay Meester George.  Thank you come again."
*Musharraf calls Osama*
"Meester Osama, I am needing you to relocate sir!"

[CountDeMoney]

I hope all those Mooselimb monkeys that celebrated in Gaza on 9/11 got to see the celebratory highlights from Lafayette Park and Times Square.   In your face, desert monkeys.  Your rock star is dead.

[Viking]

Osama seems to have died as he lived, hiding behind a woman.

[Caliga]

I hope all those Mooselimb monkeys that celebrated in Gaza on 9/11 got to see the celebratory highlights from Lafayette Park and Times Square.   In your face, desert monkeys.  Your rock star is dead.

PREDICTION:  Today shall be a fun day in Israel/Gaza/West Bank.

[The Larch]

This moment is auspicious for the reposting of this Onion classic article:

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell

JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.

"I was promised I would spend eternity in Paradise, being fed honeyed cakes by 67 virgins in a tree-lined garden, if only I would fly the airplane into one of the Twin Towers," said Mohammed Atta, one of the hijackers of American Airlines Flight 11, between attempts to vomit up the wasps, hornets, and live coals infesting his stomach. "But instead, I am fed the boiling feces of traitors by malicious, laughing Ifrit. Is this to be my reward for destroying the enemies of my faith?"

The rest of Atta's words turned to raw-throated shrieks, as a tusked, asp-tongued demon burst his eyeballs and drank the fluid that ran down his face.

According to Hell sources, the 19 eternally damned terrorists have struggled to understand why they have been subjected to soul-withering, infernal torture ever since their Sept. 11 arrival.

"There was a tumultuous conflagration of burning steel and fuel at our gates, and from it stepped forth these hijackers, the blessed name of the Lord already turning to molten brass on their accursed lips," said Iblis The Thrice-Damned, the cacodemon charged with conscripting new arrivals into the ranks of the forgotten. "Indeed, I do not know what they were expecting, but they certainly didn't seem prepared to be skewered from eye socket to bunghole and then placed on a spit so that their flesh could be roasted by the searing gale of flatus which issues forth from the haunches of Asmoday."

"Which is strange when you consider the evil with which they ended their lives and those of so many others," added Iblis, absentmindedly twisting the limbs of hijacker Abdul Aziz Alomari into unspeakably obscene shapes.

"I was told that these Americans were enemies of the one true religion, and that Heaven would be my reward for my noble sacrifice," said Alomari, moments before his jaw was sheared away by faceless homunculi. "But now I am forced to suckle from the 16 poisoned leathern teats of Gophahmet, Whore of Betrayal, until I burst from an unwholesome engorgement of curdled bile. This must be some sort of terrible mistake."

Exacerbating the terrorists' tortures, which include being hollowed out and used as prophylactics by thorn-cocked Gulbuth The Rampant, is the fact that they will be forced to endure such suffering in sight of the Paradise they were expecting.

"It might actually be the most painful thing we can do, to show these murderers the untold pleasures that would have awaited them in Paradise, if only they had lived pious lives," said Praxitas, Duke of Those Willingly Led Astray. "I mean, it's tough enough being forced through a wire screen by the callused palms of Halcorym and then having your entrails wound onto a stick and fed to the toothless, foul-breathed swine of Gehenna. But to endure that while watching the righteous drink from a river of wine? That can't be fun."

Underworld officials said they have not yet decided on a permanent punishment for the terrorists.

"Eventually, we'll settle on an eternal and unending task for them," said Lord Androalphus, High Praetor of Excruciations. "But for now, everyone down here wants a crack at them. The legions of fang-wombed hags will take their pleasure on their shattered carcasses for most of this afternoon. Tomorrow, their flesh will be melted from their bones like wax in the burning embrace of the Mother of Cowards. The day after that, they'll be sodomized by the Fallen and their bowels shredded by a demonic ejaculate of burning sand. Then, on Sunday, Satan gets them all day. I can't even imagine what he's got cooked up for them."

[Martinus]

I hope all those Mooselimb monkeys that celebrated in Gaza on 9/11 got to see the celebratory highlights from Lafayette Park and Times Square.   In your face, desert monkeys.  Your rock star is dead.

Just as when you compared Walmart Black Friday tramplings to Ramadan Mecca tramplings, your monkeys are better than their monkeys. 

[CountDeMoney]

[CountDeMoney]

The guys in Navy Seal Six will never have to buy a drink ever again.

[FunkMonk]

[Solmyr]