News:

And we're back!

Main Menu

Morgan Freeman shall win the Oscars!

Started by Alexandru H., March 06, 2010, 12:48:33 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages1 2
User actions

Alexandru H.

March 06, 2010, 12:48:33 PM Last Edit: March 06, 2010, 12:55:25 PM by Alexandru H.
The Academy Award for Best Actor is given to an actor based on a certain pattern. The specific pattern relies on the fact that the Academy recognizes three categories of men that deserve to be awarded: black men, gay-supporters and white, heterosexual trash.

Now, this method of choosing the best actor is not very old. It arose after September 11, when the lefties, scared of the conservative wave that shook the country, decided to create a safe area for minorities, metro and homosexuals.

How does this pattern work? Well, the rules say that each block of winners has 5 individuals: two black men, one gay-supporter and two random white, heterosexual dudes. Why gay-supporters and not gays? Well, gays can't act, of course (they aren't even men), but is also because in each of those 5 years, at least a winner must be part of a movie that describes the experiences of a gay individual. The so-called "gay-experience", that has the role of making the transition from conservative America to gay-loving paradise much easier.

Let's see the pattern in action in the first 5 year-block: 2001-2005

2001 Denzel Washington - Training Day as Alonzo Harris - black
2002 Adrien Brody - The Pianist as Władysław Szpilman - heterosexual
2003 Sean Penn - Mystic River as Jimmy Markum - gay-supporter
2004 Jamie Foxx - Ray  as Ray Charles - black
2005 Philip Seymour Hoffman - Capote as Truman Capote - heterosexual + gay-experience

We are almost at the end of the next 5 year-block, 2006-2010. Let's see what we have so far:

2006 Forest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland  as Idi Amin - black
2007 Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood as Daniel Plainview - heterosexual
2008 Sean Penn - Milk  as Harvey Milk - gay-supporter + gay-experience

For the last two, we have two probable winners: a heterosexual dude and a black guy. No gay-roles are necessary, since Sean Penn took care of those nicely in 2007. This year's edition is quite easy to guess:

2001-2005
black - heterosexual - gay-supporter - black - heterosexual
2006-2010
black - heterosexual - gay-supporter - BLACK

Therefore, this year's Academy Award will go to the single black actor nominated for the Best Actor, Morgan Porterfield Freeman.

Razgovory

#1
March 06, 2010, 01:35:23 PM
I'm tempted to put Romanian below Hungary again in the Euro rankings.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Josquius

#2
March 06, 2010, 01:39:33 PM
Is this for Freeman in that Mandella and the rugby guy film?
Is that much good?

Quote from: Razgovory on March 06, 2010, 01:35:23 PM
I'm tempted to put Romanian below Hungary again in the Euro rankings.
Wait, what? It isn't?
██████
██████
██████

Razgovory

#3
March 06, 2010, 01:42:17 PM
Well they speak a Romance language that should put them above the Huns.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Alexandru H.

#4
March 06, 2010, 01:43:22 PM
You can't put Romania below Hungary. Think of it: hungarians want something of ours, we don't want anything from them. Therefore, what we have is more valuable than what they have. Ergo, Romania is better than Hungary.  :menace:

Viking

#5
March 06, 2010, 01:57:12 PM
Quote from: Tyr on March 06, 2010, 01:39:33 PM
Is this for Freeman in that Mandella and the rugby guy film?
Is that much good?

Quote from: Razgovory on March 06, 2010, 01:35:23 PM
I'm tempted to put Romanian below Hungary again in the Euro rankings.
Wait, what? It isn't?

He was ok, but the movie was crap... unfortunately...

Freeman has already gotten his oscar for acting, he didn't need the oscar for "Leading man while black" that others might. He would win it if he didn't already have one imho.
First Maxim - "There are only two amounts, too few and enough."
First Corollary - "You cannot have too many soldiers, only too few supplies."
Second Maxim - "Be willing to exchange a bad idea for a good one."
Second Corollary - "You can only be wrong or agree with me."

A terrorist which starts a slaughter quoting Locke, Burke and Mill has completely missed the point.
The fact remains that the only person or group to applaud the Norway massacre are random Islamists.

Josquius

#6
March 06, 2010, 02:07:49 PM Last Edit: March 06, 2010, 02:12:40 PM by Tyr
Quote from: Razgovory on March 06, 2010, 01:42:17 PM
Well they speak a Romance language that should put them above the Huns.
I'd say thats a reason to rank them below. They speak a romance language yet STILL they fail.
Hungary in the meantime speaks some random nonsence which even Finns call gibberish yet they've had quite a important role in European history.  ;)
██████
██████
██████

Alexandru H.

#7
March 06, 2010, 02:13:41 PM
Yeah, the only catholic kingdom that was occupied, violated and destroyed by the Ottomans.  :rolleyes:

Viking

#8
March 06, 2010, 02:17:05 PM
Quote from: Alexandru H. on March 06, 2010, 01:43:22 PM
You can't put Romania below Hungary. Think of it: hungarians want something of ours, we don't want anything from them. Therefore, what we have is more valuable than what they have. Ergo, Romania is better than Hungary.  :menace:

No, it just means the Romanian joined the right side in WWI (Transylvania) and the wrong side in WWII (Moldavia). The Hungarians were on the wrong side in both wars.
First Maxim - "There are only two amounts, too few and enough."
First Corollary - "You cannot have too many soldiers, only too few supplies."
Second Maxim - "Be willing to exchange a bad idea for a good one."
Second Corollary - "You can only be wrong or agree with me."

A terrorist which starts a slaughter quoting Locke, Burke and Mill has completely missed the point.
The fact remains that the only person or group to applaud the Norway massacre are random Islamists.

Alexandru H.

#9
March 06, 2010, 02:20:02 PM
Quote from: Viking on March 06, 2010, 02:17:05 PM
Quote from: Alexandru H. on March 06, 2010, 01:43:22 PM
You can't put Romania below Hungary. Think of it: hungarians want something of ours, we don't want anything from them. Therefore, what we have is more valuable than what they have. Ergo, Romania is better than Hungary.  :menace:

No, it just means the Romanian joined the right side in WWI (Transylvania) and the wrong side in WWII (Moldavia). The Hungarians were on the wrong side in both wars.

We'll also get Moldavia by 2014. That will make Hungangry!  :licklips:

Razgovory

#10
March 06, 2010, 02:33:35 PM
Quote from: Tyr on March 06, 2010, 02:07:49 PM
Quote from: Razgovory on March 06, 2010, 01:42:17 PM
Well they speak a Romance language that should put them above the Huns.
I'd say thats a reason to rank them below. They speak a romance language yet STILL they fail.
Hungary in the meantime speaks some random nonsence which even Finns call gibberish yet they've had quite a important role in European history.  ;)

Seriously the most important criteria is who's less irritating.  Tamas or Alex.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

Viking

#11
March 06, 2010, 02:36:05 PM
Quote from: Alexandru H. on March 06, 2010, 02:20:02 PM
Quote from: Viking on March 06, 2010, 02:17:05 PM
Quote from: Alexandru H. on March 06, 2010, 01:43:22 PM
You can't put Romania below Hungary. Think of it: hungarians want something of ours, we don't want anything from them. Therefore, what we have is more valuable than what they have. Ergo, Romania is better than Hungary.  :menace:

No, it just means the Romanian joined the right side in WWI (Transylvania) and the wrong side in WWII (Moldavia). The Hungarians were on the wrong side in both wars.

We'll also get Moldavia by 2014. That will make Hungangry!  :licklips:

You need to get the Ruskis out of Transdniestria first. That's not possible while Yanukovich is President of Ukraine.
First Maxim - "There are only two amounts, too few and enough."
First Corollary - "You cannot have too many soldiers, only too few supplies."
Second Maxim - "Be willing to exchange a bad idea for a good one."
Second Corollary - "You can only be wrong or agree with me."

A terrorist which starts a slaughter quoting Locke, Burke and Mill has completely missed the point.
The fact remains that the only person or group to applaud the Norway massacre are random Islamists.

Viking

#12
March 06, 2010, 02:37:33 PM
I have to officially apologize to Languish for letting an Oscar thread suffer a balkantard hijack. This is not the standard I seek to live up to.
First Maxim - "There are only two amounts, too few and enough."
First Corollary - "You cannot have too many soldiers, only too few supplies."
Second Maxim - "Be willing to exchange a bad idea for a good one."
Second Corollary - "You can only be wrong or agree with me."

A terrorist which starts a slaughter quoting Locke, Burke and Mill has completely missed the point.
The fact remains that the only person or group to applaud the Norway massacre are random Islamists.

Razgovory

#13
March 06, 2010, 07:08:32 PM
I like Eastern Europe cause it fits my preconceived notions of what Europe is like.
I've given it serious thought. I must scorn the ways of my family, and seek a Japanese woman to yield me my progeny. He shall live in the lands of the east, and be well tutored in his sacred trust to weave the best traditions of Japan and the Sacred South together, until such time as he (or, indeed his house, which will periodically require infusion of both Southern and Japanese bloodlines of note) can deliver to the South it's independence, either in this world or in space.  -Lettow April of 2011

Raz is right. -MadImmortalMan March of 2017

grumbler

#14
March 06, 2010, 07:38:24 PM
Quote from: The Brain on March 06, 2010, 07:27:27 PM
Romania is nothing but gypsies, tramps and thieves.
You oughta write song lyrics!
The future is all around us, waiting, in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.   -G'Kar

Bayraktar!
Print
Go Up Pages1 2
User actions