The growing backlash against overparenting

[PDH]

I have received one email from a parent. I told them that I could not speak to another person about a grade. They went to my department head who explained calmly that their child was no longer in 3rd grade.

[Valdemar]

Not every 22 year old knows the ins and outs of employment benefits.   For most, it's the first time they encounter bonus structures, short term vs long term disability, and what exactly constitutes employee healthcare.  Give em a break.

Working for Ernst & Young, and they can't figure this stuff out? Or at least ask Mom and Dad to work it out with them at home, while they take care of it at work? And why wasn't this taught to them prior to graduating college?

Honestly, that's the bit that astounds me. "But my baby's never encountered this before! How is she supposed to understand it??" Well, how about you start talking to them about this stuff well before they're working out that details on their first post-grad job? That'd be a nice start.

Uhmm, not that I'd defend using your parents to negotiate anything in a job situation.

But you ARE aware that E&Y and assorted other accounting firms, in particullar the big 4, take in very young, almost uneducated, people directly from highschool or in your case college, in apprentice positions, then train them in house, put them through school, business college or business school and THEN maybe, get them certified?

So, when they take in a large amount of kids who is chosing basically their carreer, then I think it is fine that mum and dad to SOME extend offer advice and guidance, if not negotiate the whole deal.

V

[Darth Wagtaros]

I've never seen anybody's parents call on me at work. 

You are fortunate.  A Chinese girl's husband called my former boss yelling at him because he said something that upset the girl. 

[Martinus]

I've never seen anybody's parents call on me at work. 

Aren't you someone's parent?

[HisMajestyBOB]

For substitute teaching in Virginia, all you need is a college degree - any degree is fine.
Actually, you might just need a high school diploma. I'm not too sure about that, though.

[dps]

The only reason that an employer should ever discuss anything with an employee's parenets is if you hire minors.  When I worked for Shoney's, our District Manager wanted anyone who was considering hiring a minor to meet with the prospective employee's parents and discuss what would be expected of them.  Mostly it was just to let them know that if we hired their kid, we would be expecting him or her to work holidays and so they shouldn't expect that their kid would get those days off for family activities.

[KRonn]

Well, it's clear to me that all those parents who refuse to be helicopter parents are abusing their children by parental absence! DSS needs to look into such things!!     

In seriousness though. Can you imagine - having parents show up to negotiate jobs and raises for an adult child? You'd think the parent would know something is wrong if they're feeling they need to do that kind of thing.   

[dps]

Well, it's clear to me that all those parents who refuse to be helicopter parents are abusing their children by parental absence! DSS needs to look into such things!!    

In seriousness though. Can you imagine - having parents show up to negotiate jobs and raises for an adult child? You'd think the parent would know something is wrong if they're feeling they need to do that kind of thing.  

The part that really blows my mind is the employer not only accepting that, but encouraging it.  I don't care if you are hiring someone right out of school;  if you're hiring adults, you should expect them to act like adults, and part of that is not having their parents do things for them that they should be doing for themselves.  I mean, sure, give them a benefits package and let them take it home and study it to decide what options are right for them, and if they want to get advice from their parents--or anyone else--that's fine, but actually sending a "parent pack" sounds retarded.

[DGuller]

I wonder if some of those examples were isolated incidents, out of contexts, or overblown, even if they did support a very good argument.

[Valdemar]

Well, it's clear to me that all those parents who refuse to be helicopter parents are abusing their children by parental absence! DSS needs to look into such things!!     

In seriousness though. Can you imagine - having parents show up to negotiate jobs and raises for an adult child? You'd think the parent would know something is wrong if they're feeling they need to do that kind of thing.   

The part that really blows my mind is the employer not only accepting that, but encouraging it.  I don't care if you are hiring someone right out of school;  if you're hiring adults, you should expect them to act like adults, and part of that is not having their parents do things for them that they should be doing for themselves.  I mean, sure, give them a benefits package and let them take it home and study it to decide what options are right for them, and if they want to get advice from their parents--or anyone else--that's fine, but actually sending a "parent pack" sounds retarded.

If overhere is anything to go by the parent pack is the same pack they send to high school career councilors??

OFC if it isn't then its just weird :p

V

[Syt]

I've never seen anybody's parents call on me at work. 

You are fortunate.  A Chinese girl's husband called my former boss yelling at him because he said something that upset the girl.

When I worked at the construction company it was often the wives of the construction workers who called in when there were queries about the wage slip. My sister also did check and verify her (now ex-)husband's wage slip based on the hours he wrote, his contract, overtime surcharge etc.

[DontSayBanana]

Long-term subs get a dispensation. They couldn't find anyone certified to fill the spot, so they were allowed to hire a qualified sub until they had one. The girl is fluent in German (that's what her degree was in), ergo, she's "qualified". The union couldn't and wouldn't do anything under the circumstances. Parents are used to this in the district so no one said much.

Jeremy's Honors Reading teacher for most of last year wasn't certified in this state, but was the best teacher Jeremy had ever had. They replaced him with a certified teacher who left in tears every day for a week before finally quitting. Her replacement, also certified, did the same in her third week in the job after fighting off H1N1 for the first two weeks. Now, he's back in the classroom, the kids are learning, and everyone is happy.

Now, see, you should have mentioned she was a sub in the first place.  And yeah, subs get handled with kid gloves- in NJ, all you need to substitute teach is to have at least 60 college credits and be fingerprinted for AFIS.

[Malthus]

Meh, hard to say how much of this is true. To a degree, this simply sounds like another round in the seemingly endless "parents are at fault for everything they do or fail to do" barrage. Parents are at fault for not caring enough, or for caring too much.

One thing I've actually encountered personally:

A Texas school required parents wanting to help with the second-grade holiday party to have a background check first.

Our school requires *all* parent volunteers to agree to a background check. Seems more likely to be a result of excessive fear of liability on the part of school officials than "over parenting", though.

[HisMajestyBOB]

I've never seen anybody's parents call on me at work. 

You are fortunate.  A Chinese girl's husband called my former boss yelling at him because he said something that upset the girl.

When I worked at the construction company it was often the wives of the construction workers who called in when there were queries about the wage slip. My sister also did check and verify her (now ex-)husband's wage slip based on the hours he wrote, his contract, overtime surcharge etc.

Could be that it was the wives balancing the books at home and taking care of all the bills, etc. That's not uncommon.

[CountDeMoney]

Not every 22 year old knows the ins and outs of employment benefits.   For most, it's the first time they encounter bonus structures, short term vs long term disability, and what exactly constitutes employee healthcare.  Give em a break.

Working for Ernst & Young, and they can't figure this stuff out? Or at least ask Mom and Dad to work it out with them at home, while they take care of it at work? And why wasn't this taught to them prior to graduating college?

Honestly, that's the bit that astounds me. "But my baby's never encountered this before! How is she supposed to understand it??" Well, how about you start talking to them about this stuff well before they're working out that details on their first post-grad job? That'd be a nice start.

I never took a course in college on the difference between HMOs, PPOs, and POSs.

So fuck off and ignore your pediatrician.